I'm 18 and i have been with my b/f for just over 2 years. We have recently bought a house together which wouldn't have been possible without him saving his money since the age of 18. (he's 23 now). The problem is that when we first met he cheated on me with his ex. They had been together for 3 years and his excuse for it was that he didn't see "us" becoming serious and he wanted to give his ex another shot. Obviously it didn't work out because a week later he was back and we have been mostly happy since. But i don't feel like i trust him anymore. I said that i would see what happens and hope that i could trust him again but everytime he goes out by himself i keep worrying that it will happen again. I don't want to be so jealous or ruin his life because of it - what should i do? Is this ever going to stop or will he have to put up with me being jealous as a punishment for cheating on me? I actually feel that if i did it to him we would be even and this will all stop? what do you think?
2006-12-18 03:49:33 · 10 answers · asked by shazza86_uk55 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
leave him and show him you can do better
2006-12-18 04:23:55 · answer #1 · answered by whitetiger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most importantly, you should not cheat on him. That is not the answer to this problem at all, because it will only make the situation worse. He will know that you would be trying to get even with him and that will hurt him extremely bad. I have been in this situation with my boyfriend before. In the beginning of our relationship, I cheated on my ex being with him for two years and there is no excuse for it. But you should be a little more understanding on your boyfriend's part if you really love him. If you don't, then that is another story. It is not even worth the trouble if you think you don't love him or not willing to work this out. Give yourself time and perhaps discuss it with him a lot so you really have an idea about how he feels and let him know exactly how you feel. It is natural to feel as you feel..jealous and hurt, but your boyfriend must have really loved this girl and couldn't let her as soon as he hoped. I couldn't let my boyfriend go. The only way to get more trust of him is to talk to him about it. The problem is not going to just go away overtime and somehow you will get more trust in him. My boyfriend realizes how much I used to love my boyfriend and he asked me why I left him and now why am I with him. And I told him honestly and he gave me some advice and that is one thing your boyfriend has to focus on in the future and the fact of the matter is if he really loves you, he wouldn't do it again.
2006-12-18 12:14:51 · answer #2 · answered by brighid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be with him if you do not trust him and how did all this house stuff come up...presumably you spoke to him about it...and yet you have not addressed your jealously and the reasons why you do not feel secure....you feel like cheating on him to get him back which only shows that you should not be together - you would not even think of doing something like that, hurting someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with...
You are tying yoursef down at such a young age when you do not need to and more importantly you are not committed to him..you will never forgive him so why are you kidding yourself
2006-12-21 05:00:18 · answer #3 · answered by Brown_Sugar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all,DON'T CHEAT HIM BACK! That is not so good idea.Yes,you will feel better,giving him equal chance to hate you,but this can ruin you two for good.
Best thing is to talk to him again.Say how you feel.That you trust him,but you can't forget what he did to you then,and that it's eating you inside.
You were together 2 years after that,its' obvious you have something.And the fact he bought a house for you two,means he sees you far.So,don't blow your chance,in a heat of a moment.
If you really love him,you have to forgive him,in your heart,sincerely (which you didn't so far),and you'll see,forgetness will come along.
Now is what it's important.He did that to you then,in past,and you,don't make the same mistake now,in present.
2006-12-18 12:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sophie,the cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never trust him again! It will always be in the back of your mind. The best thing to do would be to leave. It will be hard, but it will be the best thing for both of you. You would simply turn into a sad, overbearring b**ch before it is all said and done, and I'm sure you don't want that.
2006-12-18 12:14:29 · answer #5 · answered by nattibadboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Y must u cheat on him? It doesn't serve anybody any good, especially yourself. Obviously, you don trust him anymore. Y must you put up with all this? U r only 18, there's a long long way ahead for u, my girl. U will meet someone who will love you wholehearted and cherished you. Y hang on him?
2006-12-18 13:02:31 · answer #6 · answered by Joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are only 18 years old and i read about "buying houses" and all this ..... oh dear , u should live a little bit before all this , u r with him since u r 16 so u havent lived anything yet and there will come a time when u will regret it very much
anyway , all the best
2006-12-18 11:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by athina68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are 18. you have to make decisions on your own but maybe you should just get rid of him? But try and talk to him, etc. Dont cheat on him back. Well. Good luck!
2006-12-18 12:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by coolbeans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldnt help to cheat on him - just face it - you will never trust him again
2006-12-18 11:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by Immortal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r only 18. leave him and come with me.
2006-12-18 11:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋