About two years into my mariage I started to suspect my husband was cheating....we had all sorts of other problems as well. We went through a TRAMATIC seperation. Since then All has been well. I have had no reason to supect that he ever cheated again. BUT back in the day I found several nude pics of this girl. This was almost 7 years ago. I kept those pics..I hid them behind my marriage licsence in a frame. I recently did a maijor "winter" cleaning and found them. My heart just rebroke...Should I throw these pics away..or hang on to them..for whatever reason?
2006-12-18 03:28:52 · 23 answers · asked by Mama Mia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get rid of them quickly. Why revive something that you've probaly spent a whole lot of time trying to kill and bury between the two of you? And do it now. Don't wait to mull it over. You might think that you are at your weakest now, but believe me, you can dig deep and be so strong and determined. So now is a good time to get rid of them. Your own emotions will be on your side. Time has a funny way of making us not so mad, not so hurt, not so angry. And people tend to put things off that we know we should do now, "since we have a lot to think about right now". Trust me, it's going to require some radical will and action to throw them out and mentally discard them , and not bring them up again, the longer you wait.
Maybe this will help you. Take them out and lay them FACE DOWN next to your marriage license that you hid them behind. Read over your marriage license and think long and hard about what the marriage is right now today. You put the photos behind the license for a reason. I don't know what that reason is, but if you are happy with him and are still there by his side, you don't need that reason anymore. You can shine light on that dark spot in your life and destroy (literally) the physical tokens of what hurt you before. When you can accept that, take those face-down photos,a trash can, and a pair of scissors. DO NOT turn them over to look at them. Just start cutting them into teeny tiny bits. Or use your bare hands to rip them to shreds. And if you want to burn the bits, do that too!!! Either way, destroy them, and enjoy yourself while you're doing it. And then go sit with your husband, and smile at him, and tell him you love him. Hope this helps. God Bless.
2006-12-18 05:35:26 · answer #1 · answered by mezhenari 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here is what will happen
You will feel hurt again for a couple of days... remembering old wounds. But if you throw them now you will slowly begin to heal out of the hurt and in future you will never get hurt from the same thing again... So just throw them
Or better yet, burn them and I bet you'll feel better. If not right now but after some days.
There is no point holding on to things that have happened in the past. Just like the way you forgave and forgot your hubbys mistake earlier, do the same thing again...forgive and forget again
2006-12-18 11:55:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So the reason your heart rebroke was because of your action to keep the pictures. If you have moved past the troubles you were having then holding on to these pictures may simple cause you pain or can be a reminder to you to not stop working on your relationship with your husband.
2006-12-18 11:35:20 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Throw them away. As someone who's husband has also cheated on her, I can assure you that you will forever have the memory of what has happened, You may have forgiven him but you'll never forget and keeping those pictures will, like you admitted, will only break your heart over and over again. In the long run, all this will do is cause you to have more resentment and in turn that could cause problems for you and your husband all over again. I wish you the best of luck and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-18 11:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by Danelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although, u have taken ur husband back, how are u going to be able to rebuild that trust factor, or even if u will ever retrust him again? You kept those pictures because I think u know that in the back of your mind, you really don't know if this will happen again. Do you know his ever move? Sorry but there is a big trust factor involved here. Are u ever fully going to be able to trust again? Well, I do hope it works out for u, but I hope u can get everything resolved and put your marriage back on track. Good Luck!!!!!
As for the pictures, what are you doing keeping them, it is a hurtful reminder to you...... Unless you know what is going to happen please be careful and don't get hurt again.....
2006-12-18 12:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by squeaky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did something like that a year ago and I only three months ago had the sense to throw them away..I told him I forgave him back then, but I realized now that I never forgave him I kept his past and I did not want to forget...I kept those things when i wanted to refresh my anger or something because thats what happened and the hurt was like new everytime.. so i guess could not start to heal. So I could not live that way.
2006-12-18 12:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by northeastcoast_butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep The Pictures!!!! Once a cheat always a cheat, if it makes you feel good to throw them in his face do it. Personally i would divorce his ***, and if you don't want to even the playing field introduce him to swingers clubs, that way you both can have sex with other people and each other. If that doesn't work then remember if he cheated once what will stop him from chaeting again and if you should go through divorce pictures like that can help, courts will rule in your favor when they see the pics. Put the pics in a safety deposit box he doesn't have access to.
2006-12-18 12:42:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If truly you forgiving, then why keep the scoreboard of proof?
Do you really need to hold these against him?
Do you feel that you are holding the power of blackmail?
When we forgive our spouse, it is suppose to be truly forgiven, and now you have something to bring up the past of the worst darkest time, and truly your husband has already beyond that step.
Does it bring you peace to keep the pictures, or will it destroy the restoration that your husband and you have worked so hard by working and forgiving eachother and move on?
Or do you plan to seek a divorce in the near future because you have truly have not forgotton or forgiven him of his affairs, and it will lead to more unahappiness, and lack of trust that you have been trying to build and that he tried so hard to earn back your trust.
2006-12-18 11:39:29 · answer #8 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you my personal experience.. i have been married for a yr now but about a few months ago i was cleaning his room and found out pics of his ex-girlfriends... its not that he never told me about them... i knew everything but seeing the pic was something else... anyways our relationship is wonderful though not serious fighting etc... and as for those pics i showed it to his and teased him a lot and after that threw them away.... that was his past... i was not there that time... so who cares now he is with me not with them period... no need to start a fight over what happened in the past rite?? no good will come out of it!!
and as for keeping them and bring them out when there is a fight between you 2 that is totally wrong!!!
You have been thru a hard time in your relationship.... especially now that things are getting better you do not want to screw things up do you??
2006-12-18 12:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to dispose of the pics. You are doing nothing but rekindling old harsh feelings towards him.. You have already forgiven him and moved on with your lives as partners. If you are truly happy in your life right now there is no need to keep harsh feelings with you what is done is done. Look to the future. Leave the past behind you.
2006-12-18 12:07:46 · answer #10 · answered by peyton31602 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋