First I would like to mention that my hubby is completely stressed out right now because he is studying for his medical boards. Anyways, last night, I went to bed before him, and put our pets on the bed with me. I had two dogs and two cats on my bed lol snuggling like crazy. I fell asleep, when he comes into the room and puts both dogs on the floor and removes Bella the cat from my side. I was cranky because he woke me, so I said "No! leave her!" then he came into bed and asked me to put my arms around him but I didn't feel like it, so I replied "It's too hot". He then flipped out completely, started yelling like crazy, telling me what a selfish person I am and that everything has to be always on my terms. We were fighting a while, he actually even wanted to go to a hotel, but then ended up sleeping on the couch. What is your take on this? Am I at fault or has he lost his marbles?
2006-12-18 03:10:13 · 11 answers · asked by tscheggl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you were both tired and didn't communicate very well. Maybe he was under stress and just wanted some comfort.
2006-12-18 03:13:15 · answer #1 · answered by R_H_P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to be a bit more accommodating of your hubby at this particularly stressful time. You picked your cat over him.....ouch! Luckily, this is easy for you to fix.
He's trying to make a better life for you two. Tonight when he comes home, you need to be sincere and apologize. I know it's hard to get oriented when you are asleep and so you may not have meant to come across as mean or uncaring, but look at it from his view point.
Make a good dinner, stay up while he studies, and then treat him a good time in bed tonight. It will all be ok then!
Good luck!
2006-12-18 11:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by kathylouisehall 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is completely stressed out studying for medical boards. So he feels everything is riding on be being good enough. He is having doubts in himself. Any little thing may set him off and I'm guessing he needed to blow off steam. Its not personal, its perfectly natural for a person to get angry over simple things to balance their own emotions. In this case if I were you I would be the bigger person and just over look last night and tell he that you have every confidence in him that he will do well on his boards.
2006-12-18 12:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you said your self he is stressed out from studying. Sounds like all he wanted was some affection from his wife. I think you could of very well of held him an told him how proud you r of him. It would of saved his feelings and a huge fight. Remember if you dont anohter women will so becareful just how far you push him away, You could push him right into the arms of another women who would love to hold him an comfort him.
2006-12-18 11:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would it have killed you to hold the man for a bit? seriously, he is working so hard studying, you could have tried to comfort him if he is so stressed out. maybe he just wanted you to make him feel like you support him, and maybe you two haven't been spending enough time together (cuz of studying) and he wanted to let you know that he still loves you and he misses spending time with you. try to be a little more supportive. on the other hand, he didn't have to freak out to the point of saying he was going to a hotel, he should have just told you how he felt and maybe you guys could have worked it out before it got to that.
2006-12-18 11:21:24 · answer #5 · answered by menolikey811 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you just had a little spat and it got out of control. You both learn to need to chill and count to 10 or 100 before mouthing off to each other, especially in the middle of the night.
2006-12-18 11:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone is at fault. It was just a combination of crankiness and stress. You'd be suprised how often this mix can cause spats like this.
Both of you need to forgive and forget. It wasn't a big deal.
2006-12-18 11:15:01 · answer #7 · answered by Ritz Grimarren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, these kinds of things are going to happen once in a while. Stress turns people into jerks.
How you handle it now is meaningful. If this is a once-in-a-long-while thing, I wouldn't worry about it. We've all been like this before.
2006-12-18 11:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm no expert but it seems like you could have done something to avoid it. it seems like he was stressed and when people are in that state, they tend to say what they really thing and maybe you guys need to communicate better and you should try and understand that the man needs you. please compromise(both of you)
2006-12-18 11:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by Chad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you were wrong, it is usually ALWAYS on womens terms, to hell bout what the guy may want
2006-12-18 11:15:42 · answer #10 · answered by Brian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋