I am pregnant and am having a hard time deciding which LAST name to give my child. I don't want to have a different name then my own child and don't understand why everybody thinks the father name should be the last, when I am the one who will be around forever no matter what and I do all the work. But I seem to be getting a lot of gruff. Why does the man get to use his last name. Why is he more important.
2006-12-18 03:07:59 · 39 answers · asked by Maroo 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
Give the baby your last name... unless the father ends up marrying you. It doesn't make sense to me when not married women give their children the father's last name... cause you can never tell what will happen, and it's easier to change it to his name later, than FROM his last name to yours.
2006-12-18 03:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man is not more important and you can choice the last name because you are not married. My husband and I were not married when we had our first child and I choose to give her his last name becasue we wanted to stay together and we were planning on marrying eventually. And I knew him well enough to know that even if we didn't stay together that he would still be around to take care of our baby girl with me. Now, my friend on the other has two kids out of wedlock and from two different people and the first one has the last name of his father even though they broke up a few times before and after the baby was born but she knew he would always be there no matter what. Now with the second one the father barely comes around and they don't get a long that well so she used her last name for him. So, it is totally up to the mother if she is not married. Make your own decision bassed on how you feel about the father of the baby. Is he going to be there whether you two are a couple or not? And do you want to marry him in the future cause then you might want the baby to have his last name. Well good luck in your decision making and I hope all goes well.
2006-12-18 03:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend has a daughter that uses her last name and she is still married to the father. I think if you want your child to have your last name then that is your choice. The main reasons the child takes the fathers last name (in my opinion) is so your ansestors can be tracked and so the fathers last name can continue. If you are the one that is there for your child and the father is not an important person to the child then I don't see what would be wrong with it. But keep in mind that the childs last name is a conection to the father and the fathers family. And like you said....the child will always be connected to you so if the last name is the only thing the child has then the father is the one that is missing out and not you. You are the childs provider, guardian, and mother....what is better than that? A last name is only a that...A NAME!
2006-12-18 03:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by flightchix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I believe that the child should have your last name if you and the father are not married and the child will be living with you. The child won't want to be "different" than other people in the house. You can always change the child's name later on if you get married, or the child wants to have its fathers name.
2006-12-18 03:37:25 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has a 12 year old that he had in high school. His son does not have his last name. This was the mothers choice since they were so young when he was born. My husband is a great father and sees his son all the time. I feel that since he is the father and he is in his life that he should have his name. Especally since the mother is now married and the son has neither his moms or his dad's name. Sometimes the dad will be around forever too.
2006-12-18 03:48:47 · answer #5 · answered by jen_t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not more important. It's a matter of lineage. Back in the day when people were grouped, the woman went with the provider. She was the nurturer. So she was no longer counted as so & so's daughter, but became so & so's wife. In this day and age any of us can be the provider. So our last name can be whatever we want. Don't worry, whatever you pick you can be sure at some point your kid will make up their own mind about what they want to be called. Meantime, make a decision based on reality, not emotion. Think about the legalities.
2006-12-18 03:55:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really irritates me that people always go on about giving the baby its fathers name. the norm is actually for the child to take on the same name as the mother, which in times gone past was obviously also the same name as the father cos back then they were generally married.
to avoid any convusion, the child should have the same name as its mother. if you and the dad decide to get married at some stage, then you can change both your last names at the same time.
my baby has my name, and i really do think it is best like that.
don't let yourself be pressured into something that you are not happy with.
YOUR baby; YOUR rules; YOU decide
2006-12-18 18:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by Mic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the last name is very important. When my mom married my step-dad, I started going by his last name, even though my last name was her maiden name. When they had kids, I was the only one in the family who wasn't really one of them because my legal name was different from theirs. But I still used it on anything other than legal docs, because it made me a part of the family. I would say that if the father isn't going to be a part of the baby's life, why make his name a part of the baby's life. Give the baby YOUR last name, because baby is a part of YOUR family.
2006-12-18 05:34:12 · answer #8 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd give him/her yours. You're the one who's going to be raising this baby. I know a family (single parent, six kids) that has four dads. All the kids have their dad's last names, and everyone living in the house has a different last name. (the three oldest share a dad and two of them are on their own with their own children, who also all have different last names) What kind of family is that? Not to say that you're going to have a bunch of kids by different men, but it really seems silly to me that all these kids don't even know their dads, yet they have their dads' last names.
Another situation I know about: They had a total of three kids, I believe the first two before they were married. He was in treatment when the first one was born. She gave him her last name. The younger two had his name, but he's been in residential treatment for like nine years, I think (since shortly before the youngest was born) and she's since divorced him, retaken her maiden name, and had the younger two's names changed to hers.
Just give your kid your name. You're the one filling out the birth certificate!
2006-12-18 08:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not more important... Its a personal choice and you will just have to brush the people off who seem to think that the baby MUST have his last name... Trust me, If my last name wasn't the hardest thing EVER to pronounce I would be giving it to my baby, however I have chosen to go with the father's last name because it is much easier to say and read... (my last name is Kraszewski- see my point)
2006-12-18 03:11:50 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Taryn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋