Why do a lot of mothers find excuses not to breastfeed their babies?

Question

No, I do not think I'm a better mother because I breastfeed, however I do want what's healthier for my baby and I feel that breastfeeding is. Many mothers that I've talked to absolutely refuse to even try breastfeeding as an option. They look at me like it's barbaric or something. They say, "Oh, I tried it once, but it hurt, so I switched to formula...ect..." So, I say, if you play the guitar, wouldn't it take a while to develop caluses on your fingers until you get used to it? Same thing with breastfeeding, of course it will hurt at first, but then you get used to it. What is wrong with mothers these days? Is breastfeeding something that women are embarrassed of or is it just the laziness of our society?

Answer 1

Some women have a hard time pumping or whatever at work...it can be somewhat of a nightmare at certain places. Other women seem to have an idea that if it didn't work with their first child, they'll never do it again, which is a bit silly. Most people I've talked to just say that they think it's the same as formula, which is also gross misinformation. I guess they have the freedom to do as they wish, but I also don't understand why you wouldn't try, unless you were actually unable to for some reason.

BlairBear, I disagree about dads not being able to take an active role. I plan on pumping also so that my husband can feed the baby, too. Also, you can pop out a breast anywhere, also - no mixing or anything involved.

Answer 2

I don't know. I think mothers have various different reasons why they don't try to breastfeed. The not even trying part I don't get, but that's not for me to even be concerned about. It's their baby and their choice. I think some think the breasts are only for sexual purposes. Some think breastfeeding will be too painful and aren't willing to go through that. Some aren't willing to stick with it when it's most difficult in the beginning. Some think their breasts will loose their "perfect and perky" shape. Some like me tried to breastfeed my first child for 4 months and finally gave up after not producing nearly enough (12 oz in a 24 hour period even after trying everything under the sun to boost my production). And I don't think that some new mothers know the benefits of seeing a lactation consultant who can be VERY helpful with latch issues. But yeah, the absolute refusal I don't really understand, but like I said, it's a personal choice. Formula is the next best thing and hasn't hurt any one of us who were given formula as a baby :)

Answer 3

First of all, it is a person's choice to breastfeed or not. Don't give someone a hard time if they make a different choice then you. Some people choose to breastfeed and other choose formula. It has nothing to do with laziness. Me for example, chose the formula route. Nothing against breastfeeding, but before my kids were born I already had my mind made up. I run a business and if something comes up I have to sometimes run out and work whether I want to or not. It is easier for me to run out and leave my husband at home with the baby and with formula. He can run to the fridge and get the baby his food and feed him. It doesn't require me to be attached to the baby 24 hours a day. My first son turned out just fine formula fed, and my new son is growing like a weed. If it makes me a bad person to not breastfeed, so be it. You don't live my life and I don't live yours, but don't get mad if someone makes a choice different than you. As long as my kid is alive and thriving, I'm not going to beat myself up for not breastfeeding.

Answer 4

This is why we live in America, because we can choose, I am not making excuses but I cannot breastfeed because my body doesn't produce enough breast milk, I make colostrum for the first week but not much milk after that, should I let my child starve just to breast feed, I tried it three times around ( three children), saw a lactation consultant and a doctor, my mother was the same way. There are many resons women do not breastfeed, some women have to work where there jobs don't aalow them to pump through out the day, other just don't want to we all have a choice to make as long as our child grows up healthy that should be the main concern.

Answer 5

There are numerous *reasons* why a person might choose not to breastfeed -- and she shouldn't have to defend that choice.

I've known women who were mortified at the thoughof breastfeeding, who see breasts as sexual and absolutely private. I've known women who, because of their jobs, knew that it wasn't a viable option. I've known women who have heard too many "horror stories" to want to try. But that's only three examples of why some women won't even consider it -- believe me, there's plenty more.

I don't know how old you are, but virtually none of my peers was breastfed -- when we were born, it was all about the superiority of formula. So not only is there a frame of reference issue, but we can all look around and say, "you know...I wasn't breastfed...and I'm fine."

In the face of breastfeeding zealots it's very easy to make the choice NOT to breastfeed, in a way. It's too bad that the whole breastfeeding/formula-feeding split seems to be going the way of the abortion debate, with two sides completely unwilling to hear one another out or do anything more than sling mud.

Incidentally, I breastfed my twins to the best of my ability -- I'm not against breastfeeding and I'm not out to "defend" formula feeders particularly. I do believe "breast if best" and want that for my kids. But that's my choice, and mine alone. I don't assume a new mom is going to breastfeed, and I cringe when I see how much they are pressured to do it.

Answer 6

I think we should all be very happy we live in a world that lets you have the freedom to choose what works for you and your baby. I agree that breastmilk is best and I breastfed my son for almost a year. I agree that it is extremely hard in the beginning. I understand how many women would try for a week and then switch. I wanted to do that. And if it wasn't for my husband pushing and supporting me, I probably would have. I cheated a few times and fed him some formula. It made my life so much easier. But going through all the problems in the beginning made me realize that some women may just be trying to defend their choice in feeding. No mom wants to feel like they ruined their child because of how they choice to raise them. And no mom wants to be told that the way they are raising their child is the wrong way. (Dealing with my mother in law taught me that-boy have things changed in the taking care of a baby in 26 years) My mother was grossed out when I was breastfeeding my son, telling him he wasn't getting enought blah blah blah-now she says he's so healthy and attached to me because of it. It takes time for a society like ours to embrace breastfeeding when formula has been the choice of most mothers. Just feel good that you are doing whats best and don't focus on the other woman. Either way, they are mothers trying to do whats best for the kids and if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. you don't know how they feel inside if they tried and failed.

Answer 7

Because formula is such an "easy out."

Because most doctors don't have the guts to tell mothers that it is much healther to breastfeed. If they do, they follow up with a phrase along the lines of "but it's OK to give formula."

Because most doctors have no more than a one hour lecture about breastfeeding during their education. They aren't prepared to help the nursing moms in their practices and often give out inaccurate advice. The mom may not have access to a Lactation Consultant or a La Leche League Leader for good information and support. (Or may not even know they exhist.)

Because formula companies send freebies to the mom's door and the nurse hands her a "formula company congratulations bag" when she checks out of the hospital.

Because formula feeding has been totally normalized by our culture and breasteeding (nature's intended method!) has become "the alternative."

Because there is a lot of pressure for some moms to return to the work force quickly.

Because the modern media tells us that our breasts are for selling beer or being admired in Victoria's Secret's latest push-up bra instead.

Because many women aren't comfortable with their own bodies.

Answer 8

I am pregnant right now and I plan to breastfeed. although I am an advocate for breastfeeding, I think that every mother has the right to choose what works best for her and her baby. what's wrong is that we want people to think and act like us. For some women it is very painful, some other are just not comfortable with
breastfeeding, that does not mean they're bad mothers. They still care , love and comfort their kids just as we do.Have you contemplated that what you consider excuses can very well be real problems, and even more important, who are we to judge? It si any of our business?

Answer 9

I breast fed both my children, my first son until he was 15 months and my second i've just manged to wean off at 18 months. I loved it, hurts like hell at first and even more when they start getting teeth but it was soooooo worth it, and stopping recently with my son has made me kinda sad.

I was talking to another lady about this the other day and her response was "urrrgh" it really annoyed me. Whats urgh about doing what you are meant to do naturally?

I always encourage people to breastfeed as i think if you can get through the first 2 weeks its plain sailing from there on, but if you really do find it hard then at least you've tried.

The excuse i hate hearing is "well i can't go out or drink if i breastfeed" I think not giving your child a headstart in life because you want to give it to someone else and get drunk is utterly selfish.

Answer 10

Breastfeeding is a choice. Like you choose if you want pancakes or cereal in the morning. Breastfeeding is not for everyone. I work for a living and really don't have the time to pump and breastfeed. my husband stays home with the baby and it works for all of us. Breastfed is best feed yes, but you should not shun against those who choose what is best for them! I was bottle fed and I turned out just fine.