TORN BETWEEN WHITE BOYFRIEND AND BLACK friends and family?
I have done what i swore i would never ever do,date a white guy.I'm Black. My black friends are totally disgusted that i'm dating a white guy.I really like this guy.He is blue
eyed,blonde,'6'4 and i must say handsome. He is educated, has a very good job.POINT OF CORRECTION,we have been told that white guys are not good in bed and have small packages. I cannot speak for all white guys but my B/F is packing. I have had my share of black guys but none come close to him when it comes to making love. he loves every inch of my body,with him making love is about pleasing me and ofcourse i do the same for him. i feel like a woman when i'm with him.No black guy has treated me like him.we have been together for 9 months.My friends who have always stood by me will not talk to him.My brothers insult him all the time in his face.When he greets my Mom,she refuses to acknowledge his presence.This really hurts me alot.I don't know what to do.I really love my family and friends.how can I make it work
2006-12-18 02:52:58 · 12 answers · asked by its me a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Ay don't worry about it. I go out with girls of all races hispanics, blacks, white. etc. IF your friends or family disagree with him because he is white, say this...
"Listen, i'm happy with this guy and i never felt so good in my entire life. Why can't you guys just except that! I'm old enough to make my own decisions and my heart belongs to him. If you guys hate him just because he is white then maybe you guys should grow up! What did Martin Luther King do for us? Why did he sacrifice his life for us? For WHAT! He wants us to enjoy being with, and love people of different color. You guys just can't except the fact that i'm going out with someone from a different race. Yet, you guys go to church on Sundays and act like a little saint to god. When you're out of church you become hipacrits and racist. God wants us all to get along. My man, he never hits me, never yells at me. He helps me out ALOT! No man that i've gone out wit before can comfort me and love me the way he does and if you guys don't like it, then suck it up! Cuz i'm gonna be with him for the rest of my life!"
Or something like that u know? Gurl, you gotta show them that you're not a child and your old enough to make your own decisions. That same thing happen to me, when i went out with a white girl. But you what i always say to her? "Forget what everyone else says. Forget world gurl, it's just you and me, and no one can break us apart."God Bless you both n i hope you great relationship with this guy!
2006-12-18 04:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by Brian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your age could be relatively invaluable in figuring out easy methods to answer this question. If you are nonetheless a teenager residing at house, my reply is going to be close to wholly the opposite of if you are over 18 or 21 and not reside together with your loved ones. Either approach, you've a tough street ahead of you, considering that it sounds like you will have already made your option to your heart. I love it when anybody is colour blind, and i desire the entire world used to be. However fact is that it can be no longer, and we need to live in the actual world. If you happen to decide upon your guy over your family, and you're mature enough to grasp that you'll invariably be dealt with in a different way (as would any youngsters you may have in case you stayed together), then at the least it is whatever you went into with your eyes open. If you're nonetheless a teen residing at house, you need to (regrettably) do what is predicted of you out of your family unless you are out in your own or your existence will proceed to be a residing hell. The thing that considerations me about your comments is how so much emphasis you may have placed on the sexual part of the connection, considering that does not relatively sound "mature." but probably you're older than i am imagining, and also you simply desired to clarify that section since it's the criticism you hear most regularly. You mention that you just love your household and neighbors. You do not mention that you just love your guy ... Only that you are making love with him. You say he makes you suppose like a girl. But if you're an adult, you don't want a man to make you consider like a girl, you simply ARE one. So, I have no idea, i'm a little confused via the signals. But excellent good fortune to both of you.
2016-08-10 02:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by jensen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friends and family do not like him ONLY because he is white, then it's going to be very hard to gain approval. Once people have a certain mindset about something or someone, it is hard to break that. I'd say the only chance you have is to let them know how much he makes you happy and how well he treats you. The importance of that supersedes what friends and family think of him, especially without knowing him as well as you do. Maybe you should remind them that the character of a person should outweigh appearance. Easier said than done though, right?
Good luck!
2006-12-18 03:08:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really a hard thing for anyone to try to have a relationship with people of two different colors in this world. For you to take him home to meet your family shows that you are a very strong person and for him to actually go home to meet your family says the same about him. He must love you so, depending on how old you are, continue to make yourself happy. Maybe, you two could make arrangements to live together. You both are very brave and you have already crossed over the hardest mountain by stepping up to meet the family. If you really love him and he has a good heart, I wouldn't let my family pick on him. They are just being childish. Let your heart come first. Stay focused on your world and don't worry about what goes on outside of that.
2006-12-18 03:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by airtightreality 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, your in a tough situation. First of all, love is no color so if you feelin him then it shouldnt matter what anyone else thinks. Im black and my boyfriend is white, I didnt quite have the same problem, but people stare at us funny, but I can care less. Anyways, if your family cant accept it just let them know that this man treats you like a lady, and thats what us women deserve, and if they cant accept that then all you can do is turn to the lord, because as much as you want to people cant change people.
2006-12-18 03:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by Still Standing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and the bf are going to marry, you may have to choose between his family (white I suppose) and yours. Marriage is more than just the two of you, unless you choose to move 1000 miles away, or overseas! How do the white folks treat YOU?? That's another question to investigate. . .
Relatives can be very important, or not important. In my bi-cultural marriage, none the relatives are close emotionally OR physically. Mine live in England, and his on the west coast.
It is sad for the 5 kids - NO GRANDparents to spoil them , and no uncles and aunts. Grrrrr. But the choice is made and we are close to local friends and church people, who treat us just as well as rellies would. Take care and do not rush things.
2006-12-18 03:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the white/black thing matters not... just keep in mind that you can divorce a husband, but you can't do that with family... Give them time to maybe buy into your relationship... take it slow and don't rush... They may just come around... If the guy really cares for you he'll stick around and support your effort... Good luck...
2006-12-18 03:08:10 · answer #7 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends and family are going to have to get used to it. They do not get to choose who you love. It may take some time, but they will soften up. If not, you will have to make a tough call...
In my experience, when my family wasn't crazy about who I was dating at first, the more they got to know the girl, the more they welcomed her.
Good luck. I hope everything works out for you guys.
2006-12-18 02:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The attitude of your friends and family stinks. I have always been pro interracial relationships and I hope your families view are not how most black people behave. You should stick with him and rise above the petty bigotry.
2006-12-18 03:04:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if this might help but its your life and your family and friends should be happy for you that you have found somebody you really love.you shouldnt be hurting you head over what to do to get them tolike him they should come around in time meanwhile as long as you are happy that is all that should matter.
2006-12-18 03:01:12 · answer #10 · answered by baby_tiffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋