Is it possible to be in love or to love someone else while being married? Could a person be torn between love for another and obligations to their marriage vows and family?
2006-12-18 02:11:54 · 28 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask yourself this--Are you and your wife the same two people today as you were when you fell in love and got married so many years ago? Chances are the two of you are not the same people and have either grown apart or grown together. If you are falling in love with another person then they may be more like you than your current wife is. You and your wife really need to sit down and discuss this and try to resolve these issues before you waste too much of her time or yours. Life is too short to be miserable or force other to be miserable!
2006-12-18 03:01:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The answer you want would require you ask several questions.
What is love? Lust?
What is romantic love?
Does the human heart have a limited capacity for love?
What do you mean when you say, "I fell out of love or I don't love that person anymore?"
Time flies when you are happy and passes so slowly when you are miserable. If you define happiness as romantic love, then you will be doomed to spend most your life unhappy. Romance is nice and it takes a lot of work. Dating can be fun. You have new experiences and you meet someone interesting. But when live with them, the new wears off. Conversation can get dry.. You have more shared experiences and there is less new stuff to talk about. If you are looking to be entertained, then your eyes wonder to someone more interesting than your current significant other. Your heart has a capacity to love more than one person. Commitment issues, social stigmas on what is right and what is wrong will set limits on how you conduct yourself. If a person is alive and breathing, he/she will always have a conflict between wants and needs and doing the right thing. It is nice to find the balance between love and lust and romance. In the end, it is best to be with someone who has commited that they are in it for the long haul. Thick or thin, rich or poorer, sickness and in health, they will be the rock that you lean on an you will be the rock they lean on. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Once you commit, it is best to wear blinders. The old car works fine and serves you well, but you can become dissatisfied with it if you keep looking at new cars.
2006-12-18 02:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The emotion of love isn't something you can control at all, what you can control is how you choose to respond to it. Whether you forsake the vows you've made, and the relationship you've built and sustained for a new one.
Before you jump into a new relationship, its important that you realise that you've made a vow, to remain with your spouse for the rest of your life. That kind of a convenent isn't something that should be broken lightly, a vow is a vow, and its even more sacred then a promise. I'm not sure how you might view it, but if i had given my word to do something, i would do so, integrity and strength of character. Would you feel bad if you broke one of the most sacred and important promises in your life? I would, in fact, it would be the worst i'd have ever felt in my life.
Also, if you have children, its important to consider how it would affect them, for obvious reasons, and divorce and subsequent remarriage would cause some trouble to them, as they have to adjust to a new parent. Not a matter to be taken lightly, as the children would already have been used to a particular set of actions that express love and affection, recieving a different set of actions might not communicate itself to the child, and as a result, the child(s) may feel unloved, or abandoned. Especially so when the mother/father spends more time cementing the new relationship.
In the end, it is possible to feel torn, to feel love for someone else, but it remains a choice you need to take, to remain with your family, and the one you made that vow to, or to break it and run away.
2006-12-18 02:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by Dai S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love my wife a lot and have never cheated or even come close and I never will but I know I could love someone else if I wanted to. In fact I think it would be easy to love two women at the same time. It would be even easier to love someone else if I didn't love my wife. If you are messing around with a married man then I would suggest you stop it. You don't know the potential mess you could be causing for someone else and the man is probably a looser. Seriously, even if he leaves his wife for you, do you want a cheater? He'll cheat on you someday too.
2016-05-23 04:18:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool. Loving both of you, is breaking all the rules"
Just pickin'
If you love/loved your spouse and then you started seeing someone else, and you think you love that person, you really dont. That person is just doing and saying all the right things. All the things that your not getting at home. Its not love, Its lust. and if you leave your spouse for that person, in the end the same thing will happen with this other person.
2006-12-18 02:17:28 · answer #5 · answered by Crissy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very possible when someone else shows you attention you don't get at home or from your spouse. Most of the time it's not love, it's simply getting attention. Be honest and ask yourself if this other person and you have the same baggage you and the one your with now would you feel the same way about them as you do now. Or are they like dessert after supper?
2006-12-18 02:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible. But you should have thought about your family while you were letting yourself fall in love with someone else. It is not right to cheat and you must not love who your married to or you would not have let yourself fall in love with someone else. You need to be honest with your spouse. You need to think about what will make you happy in the long run, If it is the other person then divorce your spouse.
2006-12-18 02:21:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright, let's all get off our "high horse" and just answer the question. Is it possible? Yes. Many people are married and in love with other people. You are not alone. You need to figure out what YOU believe in. Which do you value more, commitment or love?
2006-12-18 02:54:15 · answer #8 · answered by bear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is possible.. but in some cases this "love" outside of marriage is actually just infatuation. If you plan on cheating on your spouse.. get a divorce, don't put them through that. It is so deceitful and hurtful. I watched my mom deal with it and now my dad is left with his home-wrecking affair and is unhappy while my mom is married to a new wonderful man who treats her right.
2006-12-18 02:20:23 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs.Neville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let yourself look elsewhere while your married,then probably
yes.But why would you want to hurt someone you loved enough
to marry.If you aren't in love anymore then end it before someone
gets hurt more.Falling out of love is one thing.Cheating on some-one is a whole other kind of hurt.I'm sure that's not the kind of
person anyone really wants to be.Believe me that kind of hurt
never goes away.
2006-12-18 02:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by venture1517 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋