Is this true? WOMEN,need to make a choice, career or family, it can't be both?

Question

MY FRIENDS SAID THIS: Whats your take?

"I understand that women want equality in the work place, and trust me when I say that I am all for that.
HOWEVER, and please be open minded when I say this...women who chose this lifestyle need to not think about their families, kids, etc. Men, in history have always been hunters and gatherers...men have always provided...it's what we do. So men are natural in the workplace, just as our very nature to a physical/sexual nature, we give up our penis, while a woman takes it in.

Women then have to bear the child and take care of them. Women who then decide to leave the house to then allow someone else to take care of their children and pursue their career again lose focus on their kids, who end up being crack addicts, emotionally unattached, and those screaming kids in
stores becuase mom and and dad don't give them enough attention. WOMEN,need to make a choice, career or family, it can't be both...i'm sorry, that's just the way I feel"

I really got offended by this. I believe it takes two to make and raise a child. Women don’t have to make that choice because the parents can share responsibilities. In not all or nothing...

Aren't we supposed to be equal? Why only women have to consider that? Why are only women taking flex time because they have children? WHY not men?

My job is not less important than his...Its his child, isn't he supposed to spend as much time as I do?

Answer 1

I think the answer lies with most young women today. They have seen their mothers attempt to have both and they arn't impressed. Assuming it is a two parent household, they work while raising their kids, but allow more time for raising the kids. They work part time more often. HR people are hastily trying to think of innovative ways to keep such women from quitting all together by coming up with flexible work place hour programs.

Answer 2

NO, a woman doesn't have to choose. And not ALL women that go to work while raising a family end up with drug addicted, emotionally unattached kids who throw fits in public. I have worked, raised my son and I go to school part time. I have a VERY well behaved son who knows that I love him dearly and who also knows that he can come to me with anything. Yes, my son is 12 now, but it's been just the 2 of us for a little over 10 years.
The fact of the matter is, in these days and times, almost all families have to have 2 incomes and at some point in time, someone other then the parents will be responsible for children.
It sounds like, to me, that your friend is a male chauvinist pig! He has never had a real woman in his life to show him that yes, we can have families and careers and well adjusted, well behaved children!

Answer 3

Hey, I had a working mother and I know the value of it, its sacred, coming back to your question just relax weigh your pros and cons of working and not working ,since you have written about kids its yours as well as your spouses not just his or yours , pls take that into consideration blaming only men cant solve your problems you know how a clap takes place . If there is a financial constraint and you have to make ends meet, you should work - it will boost your self confidence and also make you financially independent and monetarily contribute to your family , but only if your spouse contributes positively other wise it will be living hell . Bringing the support and understanding of your spouse, will both emotionally and morally help you have marital bliss. Think other wise if you want to work only to spend some time either bcoz you are bored or otherwise think again of all the discord that your marriage will get into and what will happen to your kids future. Strong family is where even if one member is unhappy the entire family supports him an understands his needs. Always understand money cant buy you cooperation but only love and understanding can . If you work not taking your spouse into consideration you will loose every one you will gain at what cost if you and your family are all unhappy, you cant socialize or have quality family time, If you can work things out with your spouse and then start working all differences will be ironed out and both partners will play their part so that the family like a beautiful peace full white dove shall fly on both wings(partners) high spreading peace and love among yourselves and the society at large . Hope things work out for you , God bless, Amen.

Answer 4

I'm married without children and agree that it has to be a choice between career an motherhood. I think there are very very few people who can take the responsibility of both. It hink a lot of woman are kidding themselves. Also get tired of mothers calling off work or elaving early to attend to things at home. And I think that men have been demascalinized by the superwoman role women are adopting today. I also work in social services and point out I see a lot of woman who do not have partners to coparent, I believe that is becoming the norm.

Answer 5

My problem with this has always been, "Why would a woman choose anything ahead of her children?" The choice between career or family seems to be a no-brainer to me. Our children are the most important aspect of our life, they should always come first. Too many of the kids today have been sacrificed on the alter of "getting ahead in life". Mom and Dad want all of the things the neighbors have and want to give the kids all of the latest toys and gadgets. The children are the ones who suffer by not having a parent around. When our children were born, my wife quit work to stay home with them. We lost 40% of our income but we raised good children. They did not have the latest fads and designer everythings, but they were loved and cared for. Kids need to have love and attention and they will be happy. Things CANNOT take the place of attention.

Answer 6

Now in days it takes 2 people to work in a home just to have food on the table. It's not always our choice because I'm sure there are alot of us that would love to stay at home, but we are in the year 2006 where everything cost alot more then before. If the women makes more than the man he should stay home with the kids and be the house wife.

Answer 7

Women are the foundation of the family unit, if they put career over their husband and children, then they are really asking for being a single parent.
The idea is that men want wives to love, honour, and be in submmission to them and put them the husband first, then the children and then the house, then work.
It all depends if you want a strong marriage with your husband that he feels respected, valued, and that you are submmitting to him in everything, and trust him completely, and that he is the leader over you and basically the foundation of marriage of a wife role, and the husband role, usually the protector, lover, provider, and leading his family in his best ability, and loves and cherished his wife to the fullest.
Basically in a marriage there cannot be to heads of household, it is a freak, and then in a career, you are placing your statisic over your husband and family.
Men want their wives to work to be a helpmeet, but not to overacheived over their abilities.
ANd you have the right you feel, but what is the most important thing and purpose of life is to you?
And for women who don't work, but stay at home mom, are women who sees thier llife and purpose of the basic foundation of a marriage and family unit. These are women who truly loves God, their husband and children, and truly wants a lifetime marriage and happiness with thier husband.
And for women who choose careers, really wants to achieved richness, and be leaders but very hard to balance the family too!
The one's are crack addict, usully starts from the beginning of the family unit broken by the parents,
And for those screaming kids in the stores, they have very short patience and as a child they are created very selffishly, and want their way, and they are being disobedience to their parents. And it has nothing to dad not given enough attention, dads are working and supporting their family, and children are wired to be the way they are.
I guess that you have not yet being giving the opportunity to have your own child, and by your question, that you lack of patience and have a selffish pride that you can put someelse needs first before of your own. And with your attiutde and the way of your life, it would just be best that you don't get a husband and be married and crushed a man, by what God made him for and wired him as a leader and provider, and protector.
Your best bet just for you is a career and and live off high on your iincome, and be happy and content of what and how you meet your own needs!

Answer 8

i am a guy and if a woman wants to work and have a kid or two fine with me

Answer 9

In America, she can have both.. Why you think there is so much divorce and F'ed up kids on drugs?