For the past year to two years my marriage has been on a steady downhill slide. We have been married for almost eight wonderful years but my wife has seemed to let the verse "bad associations spoil useful habits" take control of her life. The problems started when she started associating with a group of people that have ALL been in trouble with the law for drugs and possession of drugs. I could see the trouble on the horizon and asked, begged and demanded that she pay close attention to where she was headed but to no avail. We have two children, ages 3 and 7 together and for the past 3 months she has quit all of her wifely duties from cleaning to sexual relations. When we (I) discuss it she blows up and refuses to discuss it, only stating over and over that she wants a divorce. I can not leave because I am the only one working but she wont even try and find work. Is there anything I can do legally to get her removed at least until she is ready to be married again or we divorce?? HELP!
2006-12-18 01:54:54 · 18 answers · asked by Mike S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, first of all, is this a house you owned before you met and married her? if not, its both of yours house,,,,,, you can file for separation or divorce while still living together,,,,, then either you reach agreement or the court will decide who gets the house, atleast temporarily,,,,,, i dont think there is anyway you can evict her from her home,,,, unless she is putting the children in danger,,,,, i would contact an attorney, or legal aid if your income is lower for a family of 4,,,,,, or else call the clerk of the court, family division,,, to see what steps you can take,,,,, you really need legal advice on the best way to approach this,,,,,
ps: also, if you had 6 or 7 great years, is she maybe going threw a crisis, or a depression, or some type reaction after having the last child?? will she go see a therapist to find out what is going on? a psychologist,,, not a psychiatrist
2006-12-18 01:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by dlin333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. I understand how you feel. Wifely duties should be the least of your worries and not even be on your mind. The fact that they are says that maybe...... there has to be some root issue for her to abandon her family. Thats what you need to focus on... the why. Could just be a phase. Ignore her, be cold and just keep things together and wait to see as it has only been 3 months. Tell the kids that Mommy is sick. Your wife may then come around. I would do my best to find out who and where she is hanging out with and pass this info to the cops as drugs would seemingly be the only explaination for all of this. At the very least keep a dairy of events as this really does work in court. If it gets really bad....... have divorce or seperation papers drawn up (in your favor). When she comes home drugged out and you are fighting put the papers down. This may jolt her into thinking that you mean business and the party time is over. Could work. And if not she may just sign them and there you go. Either way something has to be done and being harsh is the way to go. But kicking her out most anywhere is not going to work. You have to decide how far you will go to save this marriage.
2006-12-18 04:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT leave your home, that will look bad in the courts.
Record and log everything she does and says, a lot of times just verbal is not good enough and you cannot record what she is saying and use it in court, so emails, letters, notes, maybe if she has gotten a lot of driving tickets, take pictures of her drugs or anything else that can be incriminating.
Keep your children OUT of it. Do not involve them in any way in an effort to use them against her, they will resent you.
Go and get a consultation with a few lawyers immediately and even if you can't afford them you can still see what they have to say and they may give you some hints as to how to go about it.
What you can start doing is looking on the county courts website and becoming familiar with the forms. There may be one that says something like "dissolution of marriage." There may be something along the lines of "allocation of parental responsibility or custody" You gotta get the ball rolling before she goes out and gets a lawyer.
Get yourself organized and keep very good records and copy them all. During this time you may want to have your children stay with your parents so that they do not have to witness it.
2006-12-18 02:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she leaves the marriage you have a better chance of keeping everything and gaining custody. This may sound harsh but you have to prove that she is in fact an unfit mother. You can hire a detective to follow her or the next time she is up to no good you can call the cops. Next, file a petition with the court for full custody. If nothing else, this might get her to open her eyes up. Your kids do not need to be subject to a mother acting this way.
2006-12-18 02:04:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there is divorce due to personal differences and anyways she isn't contributing to the family i suppose. Her attention will be towards her "groupies" and not the children so might as well take off. Dun let your children suffer under the influence of a lousy mother. No mother is better than parasite mother. Sacrastic but reality is cruel indeed. Setbacks are good for waking up ppl in their own world.
2006-12-18 02:00:49 · answer #5 · answered by cinabolic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would call the police and have them there to tell them you want her out because she is being a danger to your children by her friends...... that way they will ask her to leave until she decides what she wants.....
if the house is just in your name she will have to leave no matter what.... I would file for divorce first and get a restraining order on her because she could be putting your family in risk by the people she is haning around with.....
No use in staying with a women who will ignore her family for friends and running around.... you deserve way better then that and i would be gone an finding me someone who will be respectful and love me the way they should.....
I hope all works out the way you want it too... Good Luck and God bless...
2006-12-18 02:00:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try getting a restraining order to have her physically removed from the house. Or the other thing you can do is while she is out with the others, you can change the locks and install an alarm system.
2006-12-18 06:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the court house and have her evicted, and then see a lawyer about having temporary custody papers drawn up so she can't take your children since she seems to like her friends better than her responsibilities.
2006-12-18 02:00:57 · answer #8 · answered by jennidixon186 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no lawyer, but I don't think you can do anything....that is the beauty of marriage. And usually, she would get it all anyways...if you wanted a divorce. That's just the way things are in our society.
2006-12-18 01:59:15 · answer #9 · answered by Alicia P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, if she lives there, you can not, in most states, force her to leave. The best bet is for you to leave, begin divorce proceedings yourself, and try to get the house in the divorce settlement.
2006-12-18 01:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋