I have had a 'tip off' that my 14 year old sister is smoking. My parents smoke and i think they have an idea that she might be smoking too. My parents spoil my sister and over the past year she has turned into a vile teenager! I want to confront my sister about it, it may take some time to get the truth (as she lies a lot), is this a good idea? When i have confronted her, if she is smoking, whats my best course of action then?? I dont suppose i am going to stop her but i just dont really know how to deal with her! (please bear in mind that she has a real attitude problem!!)
2006-12-18 01:33:32 · 27 answers · asked by Lau Lau 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Considering she has an attitude problem, i don't think she will listen to you, you may even get a mouthful. If i were you, and it sounds as though you care a lot for her, let her get on with it. Telling her to stop will only make her more awkward.
2006-12-18 01:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by Starbucks27 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your parents first. Ask them how they would feel if their 14-year-old daughter was smoking, and that, even if they smoke, she's doing something both illegal and harmful. Most likely, since they smoke, they won't even care. But then it's all up to you.
If you can't get it out of her, try talking to some of her friends. If you finally get the truth and she is smoking, then go back to your parents. If, again, they're uninterested, then you should go to some officials at her school (like a resource officer or councelor) and ask what they would reccomend. She may be required to take therapy or even rehab, depending on the current situation. If she's mad at you, just remember, she's mad for today, but tommorow, when she's got no health risks, she'll thank you for saving her life.
2006-12-18 12:52:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello
Right firstly you can find out from your local hospital and / or your doctor about drop in centres where you can take her to see people that smoked and what damage it causes to your body.
Also you may want to speak to your sisters school. They CAN arrange for someone to come into the school and give a talk and demonstration to her and others in her class. When i was at school, we had someone come in and showed us what happens to the inside of our bodies everytime we take in a puff. It not very nice. Its very interesting. Also on mine, we had a young lady come in too. She was in a wheel chair and was dying of lung cancer which had made her very unwell. It was sort of like a shock treatment lesson to us all. Ofcourse this still doesnt mean your sister will take any notice of this. Even though i cried when I saw this lady, i still started smoking myself.
She may think shes incontrol and can quit whenever she likes but I thought the self same thing, and its just not that simple.
Yes confront her about it, but like you said she will proberly lie about it. Either way she should be able to know if shes lying to you.
As means of stopping her from smoking there isnt really anything you or your parents can do. You cant lock her indoors or anything like that. Taking money off her prob wont help either as she im sure has mates who smoke and then u'd also have the concerns that she may turn to viloence to get money.
Talk to her would be the best thing, or defo a drop in centre. You can browse the web for places that do this in your area or ask as i said earlier at your doctors or hospital.
If you try and FORCE her to stop your more than likely to find that she will do the opposite. I remember what i was like at 14. If i was told no, id always do the opposite.
2006-12-18 17:49:33 · answer #3 · answered by colour-pink 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the problum isnt your its your parents. if both your parents smoke then shes being taught that smoking is ok. and even if she stoped smokeing she still is likely to get lung cancer from the second hand smoke. im not saying smoking is a good thing though. id advise you stop trying to be a parent and start being a rolemodel sibling. take her someplace and hang out with her, make her feel loved. and take her where shes notable to smoke and where no one else smokes so she can get some clean air for a while.
2006-12-18 12:47:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kyle 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since she has an attitude and lying problem, I guarantee she won't listen to you and she'll probably go off smoking again. You should get some pamphlets about smoking and read them and then talk to her about it. You should also show her pictures of the yellow fingers and black lungs she will get if she keeps on smoking, that might scare her into stopping. Also remind her that she's not just killing herself, but the people around her. If that doesn't work, just have a friend talk to her, she'd probably listen to the friend instead of you, no offense. Good luck.
2006-12-18 09:42:38 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get a life. Don't bother with correcting your sister. She's probably aware of all the dangers and risks. And if your parents find out about it, and if they ask you about her secret habits, just be open about what you know and that you wanted to avoid further confrontations.
2006-12-18 09:42:49 · answer #6 · answered by montrealissima 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Were I am from, Parents believe that whole thing about let your kids smoke, drink, have sex, and do drugs, as long as they don't embarass you.
My friend who's parents don't believe this was in your situation, found her sister smoking pot. She just saw her and stayed calm. Later she told her parents who took care of the situation.
2006-12-18 12:38:56 · answer #7 · answered by Michael 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont make your self go directly with the problem, if she chats a lot, make yor self like a guy or something , get to be her friends. people dont lie with friends. get it. then slowly unravel her habits buy letting her no thats it will be bad for her baby,and it will be bad since sheherself is not a adult, but before all make your fake identity trust worthy, win her heart, got it. you can even choose a role as if you are a spoilt but suffering smoker, and you dont want that to happen to her. please try to be slower even after she confesses the truth. she has an attitude problem only with you not your false identity...........shhhhhhhhh.................keep it a secret for ever.......
with loads of love and care
angel
2006-12-19 08:07:19 · answer #8 · answered by angel gione 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that smoking is very bad for her, don't tell her to stop but encourage her too. Staying that IF she is addicted to smoking you will help her give up if she wants your help.
Can I ask, if your parents know are they doing anything about it?
Have you confronted them?
2006-12-18 12:19:52 · answer #9 · answered by Gracie 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if you want to talk with your sister you have to make sure you know what to say and how to say it.
you might want to ask some one who knows about this kind of talks or read some books and then talk with her
you are a good sister and since your parents smoke too, you are the best person to talk to her
2006-12-18 14:51:46 · answer #10 · answered by Me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't confront her.
Instead just give her words of wisdom. She's now 14 and decided to start, she may decide to stop. If she decides to stop be there for her.
By words of wisdom stuff like, "You like that guy," "No, I here he smokes, and its like kissing an Ashtray" "You can smell a smoker a mile a way"
At 14 she is smoking because she thinks its cool. By enforcing the "uncool" aspects of it, she may want to consider stopping. Also you may want to try a bit of fear, talk to her about your parents and you are worried about what their smoking may be doing to them.... whether they will live to see her graduate.... stuff like that. Kinda extreme, but now is the easiest time for her to quit, in a few years it will take the willpower that not even your parents have.
2006-12-18 11:09:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋