how often should husband help mother at home with 3 children with chores?

Question

i have a 7 yr old which is in school, a 2 yr old and a 3 month old. my life is pretty hected and i can't get my husband to help clean. which by the way works 2 jobs but i feel he should help at least once a week with something. What u think

Answer 1

So, poor little baby has two jobs and thinks that is rough. Meanwhile, you have a 24/7 job? Tell him you'll switch. Yes, he should be helping out. It amazes me how men will come home from working all day and ask you "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ALL DAY?" Like you are sitting at home, watching soap operas, eating bon bons.

However, you ask him to watch the kids for 30 minutes while you run to the store and he does not want to do it (because it is too much work, but he will never admit that....).

My mother encountered the same thing with her ex-husband and here is what she did. She did her laundry, not his. She packed up all the dishes (plates, spoons, cups) and switched to paper and plastic products and hid them from him. She moved into a separate bedroom and let him keep his as messy as he wanted. She set up the dining room as a separate living room and kept that clean. She stopped packing his lunch. She never made his breakfast, lunch or dinner (even if she was cooking for us). If he left stuff laying around the house, she packed it up into a garbage bag and hid it from him.

It took 6 weeks, but the bum finally started helping out.

Answer 2

Okay you have to look at his point of view.. he is working 2 jobs.. he is exhausted. He is bringing home the money and that is a great relief so you dont' have to deal with that garbage.
Your a stay at home Mom, yes it is difficult but you can do it. I had 4 and my husband was traveling all the time and you do survive. Once you get over the mentality that he must help you. If you are in a jam look for other mom's to take the little ones soyou can clean in peace for a couple of hours. Are the relations close by or a part time child care? Heck ask him for a part time maid who can come in once a week and do the heavy duty stuff like bathrooms and windows.

Answer 3

well he has two jobs and you have one job that i presume has no start or end time,,he may feel he does enough but the two of you would be better served if he helped you with dinner or the washing up every evening,(if he is there) everything you can see in a home needs cleaning,from the pots to the skirting boards so look around you and see what is needing done that day,,whether it is the washing put in the dryer or the beds making.you and he have a chance to be together sooner if your work is helped with and you will feel more appreciated by his concern,,can he take over the kids while you have a soak in the tub each night to give you a mental break.my husband and i both work and to be honest he doesnt do that much around the home either,,he fixes everything from the roof to the shower,,there is always something needs doing and as i cant do any of that i do 'women stuff',,i dont mow the lawn he doesnt wash the pots but he will make tea if i dont before i go off to work and nothing is said,,apart from thanks of course,,you have to find your own equilibrium.

Answer 4

My husband works all day and comes home exhausted. I stay home and maintain the home and the kids all day. I really love what I do and I look at it like a privilege to be home all day. I can run to the store when I want, I can take the kids to the park, I guess you just have to enjoy your life and not worry about what your husband is helping with around the house. I love my husband more than anything but he is the biggest slob and I can't remember the last time I saw him clean anything but his truck and my car. I guess this just works for us and I really don't care if he helps or not. I am just glad I can be a full time mom and homemaker.

Answer 5

I work 40 hours week, have 4 children, 14, 12 and twin 5yr olds. My husband works 2 jobs as well and he always finds a way to help me out, whether it is going grocery shopping, starting a load of laundry or general pick up around the house. Talk to him, I'm sure he is willing to help out if you ask.

Answer 6

Well, I am a stay at home mom with only one daughter and I know how you feel, and I only have half of what you have :-) . Although, on days when my husband is at work I try not to ask him for help because I know he works and my taking care of my daughter and the house is my job. I do have to admit though. I try to get him to take out the garbage or change a couple of diapers here and there. So, my advice is, you can ask, but just try not to over due it :-)

Answer 7

I think if he works 2 jobs he dosent have much time to help, if he takes care of the car and heavy work you cant doI would have to give him a break on the housework, mabey a couple of hours a week he could stay with the kids and you go out with friends or alone

Answer 8

I think that whenever he has spare time he should help you. Mayeb he has 2 jobs but you have at the least 3!!! Tell him that Not only does he work but tkaing care of 3 screaming children is a TON of work. He shoudl appreciate the things you do.

Answer 9

Are they 2 FULL TIME jobs? if so then he is more than pulling his share of the load if he has energy to help even once in a while you should consider him a gift! if not he should help out regularly with no prompting from you either!

Answer 10

Yes, but you also have to rember he works two jobs, so he is going to be pretty rundown. Good luck in all you do!