She is a recent lesbian just out of high school and into college and has had a GF for about 8 or 9 months. I am 22 year old and have been out on my own for a few years. She says things like "**** you" in a jovial manner when I ask her questions and sometimes when I just talk being brash. Her last relationship (with a guy) was bad and ended on a bad note. I can't help but wonder if she is aiming her displeasure toward men at me. I don't call her names except when she catches me at bad times with her 'comments.' The strange thing is when I am alone with her GF she doesn't call me names or treat me badly and surprisingly neither does my roommate when it is just us two, it happens only when she is either with her friends and/or her girlfriend. Something her GF doesn't understand either.
Optionally I would like to know why if my guess is wrong.
But my main question is how do I deal with her?
2006-12-18 00:41:16 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just noticed it edited the cuss word, it's the f-word she calls me.
2006-12-18 00:41:56 · update #1
More than likely she likes you and this is just a way she expresses herself. My daughters are in their early 20's and they and their friends throw this around but don't mean anything by it.
However, any time you are uncomfortable with something that someone else is doing simply tell them. Sit down over tea or coffee and tell her that you know she doesn't mean anything by it but you find it uncomfortable and you would like her to stop. If she won't then move out or ask her to move out.
2006-12-18 00:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to her about her comments. Every time she makes one, say something that will make her realise what she has said, she may not even realise she's doing it. You never know, it could be misplaced anger or as she was probably the submissive one in her last relationship with a man, when her friends are around she may want to appear to them as being in control and dominant in the male-female relationship you share. Or her just joking around as some do. You never know she could like you. Whatever it is though, it's obviously making you feel uncomfortable when she's saying it. So i think the best thing to do is to sit down and talk to her and make her realise how you feel about it. She may even open up and tell you a little something too if she's ready. She may blow up at you too, but if she does that don't take it too personally. As long as you're trying to sort things out in a non confrontational way she should respect that. If voices are raised, just stay on a level and talk calmly, then she has no excuse for shouting or name-calling.
Don't take nothing to heart though dude, she might just be tryna deal with some issues that are nothing to do with you.
If it's still happening after a while (which hopefully it shouldn't if you both have a good talk) then she's just not a person that you need around you.
Good Luck, you'll be fine ;)
2006-12-18 12:04:59 · answer #2 · answered by lj_likka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not your job to figure out why she is doing whatever she's doing. It has nothing to do with you and it's her job to figure out why. When her friends get there next, within the first 5 minutes, I would say to her, in front of everyone, I expect you to speak and treat me the same way prior to your friends arriving. I'm not your doormat and expect to be really embarrassed if you cut me down at all.
She sounds like an immature bully. Gross way to impress her friends.
2006-12-18 01:26:27 · answer #3 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she might like you but can't show it
2006-12-18 02:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by shay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋