2006-12-18 00:35:41 · 16 answers · asked by WillsBroncoGal 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to accept that what one person did was related to that person. It has nothing to do with the new people in your life. Meeting new people is like getting a new day. What happened yesterday has nothing to do with the new day. You have a chance for beauty, love and fun and trust with a new person but only if you aren't still moping about yesterday. Insecurity is not a mistrust of the new person it is a mistrust of yourself. You need to ask yourself why you are not allowing yourself the freedom to enjoy your partner's honesty and love for you. If you say you do not know then make a point to remember to trust him everytime you feel unsure. You will grow as a person and you'll begin to live more honestly to yourself and to the world.
2006-12-18 02:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After being wounded from the past relationship, it is hard. Some will say just get over it. But... emotional hurts are sometimes very hard to stop feeling.
With your new relationship, yes... you have carried over that lack of trust and it is going to be hard to learn to trust again. However, the one you are with hopefully will realize your love for them and their love for you.
Lack of trust can really hurt your current relationship if it gets too carried away. You have to allow trust to build. Hopefully he/she is patient enough and in love with you enough to put up with all the insecurities that you are dealing with internally.
If he/she is and your relationship is strong, that trust will come. Resist the urge to immediately think that he/she is doing something wrong. Put it in your mind that he/she is a good person and that he/she does just what he/she says they are doing. It is hard to do, but if you love this person and don't want to ruin your relationship, then at least try.
There is such a thing as a patient loving relationship that can go thru thick and thin, however constantly trying to prove to someone that they can trust you can eventually break it, no matter how strong it is.
No one likes to be constantly accused of something that they are not doing. Realize this and grow back into freedom and keep yourself from the torment that goes to those that can not learn to trust.
2006-12-18 01:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by Hawksflyn2u 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, from past experience I would tell you that it is you that needs to speak to a therapist to get over whatever issues you still have concerning your previous relationship. If your new partner has done nothing to make you distrust him then don't find a reason. We seem to look for things that aren't there and then it causes a problem in the relationship for no reason at all. Learn to trust your instincts and also if you trust your instincts and trust YOURSELF, if will probably have no problem trusting your new partner who you state to be honest.
2006-12-18 00:52:44 · answer #3 · answered by Andrea D. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep reminding yourself that it isn't your ex you are with. Make sure you tell your current partner your trust issues as well. Let them know you've been in bad relationships and at least this will give them the chance to be more understanding and give you the time to learn to trust them. Plus usually when you tell your partner your issues they work harder at making you feel secure and are more sensitive to your feelings. Be open and honest and security will come.
2006-12-18 00:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like every grain that has a different shape, every human being is different. Don't ever look at your guy with your ex's specs. Try to build faith and trust from day one and as days go by it will get better. If you see that he is not responding in the same manner, then you need to communicate and carry on from there.
Relationships are like full time jobs so take it as one and you will never get the pink slip if you work hard :)
2006-12-18 00:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by Siman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
time and open communication with your new partner. Make sure he know your insecurities and how you feel and what happened to you. He can help in small ways if he knows what the problem was. Like going the extra mile to show you he is there for you and only you. In time you will learn to trust again but it takes time.Be open and give him a chance..
2006-12-18 00:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by cyborg_2099 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That takes hard work, sometimes years in fact for you to start trusting anyone. I know b/c after my divorce (due to cheating and verbal abuse), it took me 10 years to finally be able to trust someone wholeheartedly and there's still moments when I sit and wonder. If a new partner gives you reason to believe they are trustworthy, then do so, but don't lose yourself in a man. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times.
2006-12-18 00:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let go of the past. It will always keep you there- in the past. It will only be you letting the previous relationship control your future and your future happiness. I know it hurts because i went through this but in order to realize what you really deserve you have to leave the past in the past. if your current partner is unfaithful though, let it go also and move on... Good luck hon.
2006-12-18 00:41:45 · answer #8 · answered by lankytallgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know, babe, I wish I did.
I guess its up to the partner to prove themselves to you. Only time and patience will work for me in the end. Its difficult and tough. But a prospective honest and trustworthy partner will have no trouble proving this to you, as they are confident in themselves. It wont happen overnight, and I truly hope this time its for real, beacsue alot of people call themselves 'honest' and not all of them mean it! Good luck x x
2006-12-18 00:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by Sophie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trust comes from seeing and believing in the other person, we all have been there, been hurt, and it does make us less trusting and insecure. time and seeing this person is who he says he is, is all that will work, getting to feel comfortable, and knowing based on his actions, will make u feel more secure with him. got to give it time, as when we have been hurt in the past, it does carry into the next relationship.
2006-12-18 00:58:44 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋