Me and my flatmate nromally get on really well, we pay the same for the flat, and every time she has people over she expects me to go to my bedroom, so she have privacy...
I told her I felt a bit uncomfortable and a stranger in my own home and she has flipped out..... what should i do?
2006-12-18 00:25:32 · 53 answers · asked by Lola* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She should go to her room!
2006-12-18 00:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell your mate to get over it or start pitching in for the extra room! Really if it's equal rent then the public areas should be open to all the rent payers. Tell your mate that if she wants privacy entertain in her room. It's one thing to be accommodating and another to be pushed out of your own space. And as far as the people you don't know that's a little tricky. If you didn't have a verbal or written agreement before you started living together it can be really explosive (I've been there) The best thing to do is express your uneasiness about strangers and try to reach a mutual agreement.
2006-12-18 00:33:47 · answer #2 · answered by mistress_lilas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is being very rude and acting as if you are a child or an interloper in her home. Doing her the courtesy of leaving the room to her in exceptional circumstances is a kind and generous thing to do, but only if it is reciprocal and appreciated.
In the circumstances you have explained it seems she should bring her visitors to her own room if she wants privacy.
You are right to confront her but my advice would be to do it in a calm and reasonable way, explaining how her behaviour makes you feel and what your expectations are as a flat mate.
If you cannot resolve this you may need to find a new place to live as otherwise it sounds like your friendship with your current flat mate will suffer and living in your flat will be uncomfortable.
2006-12-18 00:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by dollydealer1 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get a life! Seriously, if she has company, and she doesn't want to sit with you in the living area, then SHE should go to HER room. Its your house as well, and as such you have as much right to sit in the living area as she does, or to decide who you feel comfortable with in your house. After all, you have separate bedrooms for privacy, right? Tell her to make use of hers, the rest of the flat is a social area. And ignore her whilst she has a paddy, she'll soon get over it when you don't pay her any attention....
2006-12-21 21:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by iwatchedthestarsfallsilently 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's being unreasonable, if she wants privacy she should go to her room. I think you both need to sit down and sort out some rules. does she go to her room when you have people over? if you had people over all the time would she sit in her room all the time. If she wants privacy she should go to her room or go out. Tell your flat mate that she will have to move out or you will move out if she continues to be unreasonable. Or next time she has some one round don't go to your room carry on as you would normally, if she asks you to go to your room, make an issue of it infront of her guest and say if you want privacy go to your room, that way her guest will probably rather go to her room instead causing arguments or even say why don't you sit with us.
2006-12-18 00:36:39 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to go to her room when she has someone over..and no your not being unreasonable by confronting her, you pay rent too...she has no rights flipping out on you, you were being honest with her, if you own the flat then ask her to move out or you move out and get a place of your own...i have shared homes with people many times and i hated it..there's nothing like having your own place...tell her to stop being so bloody selfish
2006-12-18 00:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how often it happens. Once or even twice a week would not be unreasonable. But of course she'd have to do the same for you.
Since the flat is half hers you can't expect her to only invite over people you know or make all her friends your friends too.
A deadbolt on your door and a tube of mace and cell phone to call 911 if necessary should make you feel safe enough.
Of course if this still sounds unpleasant or uncomfortable then I'd start looking for another roommate. And don't forget to look for someone to take your place if your name is on the lease.
2006-12-18 00:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by aiguyaiguy 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yoy pay 50-50 for the house apart from your own room in effect, that's the one area that is yours, therefore she should go to HER private area (i.e. her bedroom) if she wants privacy.
Tell her you've got 5 friends coming round so she will have to.lol
But seriously, i think she is being grossly unfair and tell her you own half the house and unless she starts to see this is her problem then you will move out.
If it was me, i'd start looking now and move out anyway, you can't win with people like this so you might as well move on before it gets really bad.
2006-12-18 00:32:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you split all the bills you have as much right as her to be wherever you like in the flat, except her bedroom. Tell her to go to her room because you want to watch TV on your own and she how she takes it. If she wants privacy she can go to her room, not turf you out of the living room. Cheeky b!tch
2006-12-18 00:33:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and come to some agreement; how often are her friends coming over in say a week or month. Is it the same person and why do you have to go to your room? Cant she go to her room or better still go out for a change.
2006-12-18 00:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is so ridiculous!
How can she expect you to "disappear" out of your own apartment?!?
What a selfish & inconsiderate little girl!!!
Tell her b*tch@ss to mind her manners or you`ll have her thrown out on her ear on Xmas day!!!
Tell her also that if she wants privacy, she should take her greedy @ss to her bedroom and shut the door behind her & her friends!
I assume you don`t have the same friends?
Are you even friends yourselves or roommates first & foremost?
Show her this question & the answers you got too!
She might realize that she is being totally unreasonable!
Good luck to you and I hope things work out for you!
Happy Holidays!!!
2006-12-18 00:34:53 · answer #11 · answered by Lolita Angel Rose Taylor-Kennedy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋