My Husband and I have been married for 3 years. We have sex maybe once a month(or less) and only after I ask(beg) him. He has ED I suppose. He has seen doctors, nothing resolved the problem.
I love him, we speak about this problem always, he says he wants to find a solution, but everyday I am thinking on leaving him, I just don't see how this could be fixed after 3 years of trying. Most of the times he will just ignore the problem, untill I ask for sex....I am so frustrated, just wish to make my bags and leave him, BUT he also gives me a good financial support. I cannot live bymyself yet(no job, no studies finished), no family to support me either.
I am younger than him also and always I get alot attention from other men.
I am trying to keep myself busy and ignore the problem but just doesn't work and I am more and more hurt and want just to go. He knows what I feel though.
Any advices? Someone have been thru this or still fighting with something similar? Thanks
2006-12-18 00:18:55 · 12 answers · asked by LMH 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can understand your desire for physical intimacy, but your marriage commitment is a "for better or worse" type of thing. If you were experiencing similar medical conditions, would you want your husband to be "shopping the market" for options on how to get his physical attention? Love is more than the feeling of elation when things are going well, it's a commitment to be there for eachother through the rough times too.
Perhaps there are other options he can provide for you to help you with your desire for sexual intimacy. Certainly, he must be embarrassed about his condition (which takes away from that desire to be involved in an intimate situation). If you can help him feel more confident and comfortable with pleasuring you in an alternate way, perhaps you'll feel differently about your relationship.
2006-12-18 00:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Intimacy, no doubt is one of the key importance of a relationship. BUT effort from both parties is also important. Intimacy is a feeling that is developed between 2 parties, it cannot be switch on and off as and when you like it.
Have you try to create the mood? put on a sexy lingerie, aroma therapy candles, give him a massage, have a bubble bath together...those things that "GETS PPL INTO THE MOOD".
I am sure you married him for many other reasons just than sex, so find a way to talk to him again and work on it together and not ignore the situation as the effort have to come from both side.
Talk it over and over again. Many sacrifices need to made in a marriage.
Good Luck.
2006-12-18 00:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by Rosy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are with him for your own selfish reason and when he cannot live up to your expectations then you want to leave him but won't till you use him enough to stand on your own feet. Do you think he does not want sex more because he is a little embarassed with the situation and you don't seem to be as supportive as you could be. Obviously you have very little emotional attachment to him if just because a problem arouse you are that willing to pack it up. What if the problem got fixed then down the road he became paralized from the waist down and impotent. Would you leave him for that also?.............................I would say leave him now ,instead of using him for your own means and leaving him later..
2006-12-18 00:32:06 · answer #3 · answered by cyborg_2099 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are pills, etc that can fix his problem. But for you, there's more to marriage / relationships than sex. If that's all you want or need, you should have bought a dildo. He is probably at this point tired of you nagging him, and never mind the fact that he is stressed out over this and you do nothing to help him but beg for more sex. Help him, don't nag him. You are ruining your marriage by acting like a child. Give him a break and give him your sympathy.
2006-12-18 00:29:55 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are basing a relationship just on sex then you are going no where fast.
D cell batteries might help with you.
Serious now...I had ED and I took care of it. My doctor help me but I would say the thing with your hubby is...
He may be to tired.
He doesn't enjoy it.
To much work for him because you don't turn him on.
He is banging someone else.
He is a alcoholic that can't get it up.
The list goes on and on....even though you have talked to him...try planning a special night to turn him on again. Surprise him is a special way.
He was attracted to you in the first place, you got married. Rekindle that fire.
2006-12-18 00:31:22 · answer #5 · answered by Magicman 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't take this the wrong way but do your realize that the two most important things in your marriage are sex and money? Honey if this is the cornerstone of your relationship I would start reevaluating what I am looking for in a spouse. I suppose if it makes you happy but as you can already determine those are the weakest links in a matrimonial bond for neither lasts forever. Just a thought though!
2006-12-18 00:26:42 · answer #6 · answered by mistress_lilas 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like me all but the older than me thing for I'm two years older than my husban but after 3 years of marriage our love life sucks for he can only last for 15 minutes and sometimes not even that all I can say is follow what your heart is telling you to do but also remember your wedding vows. Also there's other way's to be close without haveing sex like cuddeling kissing talkijng about feelings and jsut spending time with eacother getting to know one another and if he want's help with the problem then have him go to his doctor and you go with him. B honest with him but also yourself and talk out the problems I hope things get better.
2006-12-18 00:32:11 · answer #7 · answered by outlawprincess5321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you don't love this man, never have, because all your marriage is based on as far as you are concerned is money and sex. It is a wonder he hasn't TOLD you to pack your bags and get out, because no one wants to be used and that is what you are doing to him, you are using him as your meal ticket. HE does not deserve you.
2006-12-18 00:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are pills to fix his problem. If he has really talked to doctors and taken the pills and they still don't work, the issue is not ED.
Even with Viagra, the man must be arroused for it to happen. I might suggest that the issue is not ED but he has lost interest in you.
Just my thoughts. I know it is hard to hear.
2006-12-18 00:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by Judy the Wench 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow...too bad...must not be much of a marriage if you are so willing to leave him because he has a sexual problem....If it were me, I would find other ways to get sexual satisfaction and not make him feel bad because he has this problem...there are lots of things you can do without actual intercourse....try some and perhaps it will get him up again...good luck
2006-12-18 00:25:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋