during an argument approx 2 years ago a female relative threatned my children. i have not spoken to her since,but my family have been putting on the pressure to make it up with her.
she did come to my house but i told her to **** off and never come to my house again - and i ******* well mean it
my family want me to put her comments down to jealousy as she has lost about 4 or 5 -personally i think she aborted them
she is a very manipulative person and a constant liar and an attention seeker, she talks about things that children shouldnt hear in front of them - i wouldnt want a stranger like that around them,so why should i accept that from a family member
we have never been close and to be honest my life has been better without her -
i know that it is upsetting for my parents,but i wouldnt feel that my children would be safe aroud her - she may act on her threat to harm them
what would you do?
2006-12-18 00:10:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
thank you for your answers so far, it helps to have a strangers point of view so that i can see that i am not been unfair in any decision i make
2006-12-18 00:25:41 · update #1
You know the answer already. The children come first.
2006-12-18 00:15:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
To be honest I agree with you. I mean its not the same sytuation at all but you know I have been sexualy abused by my brother for many year and when I was 19 I told my mum dosent belive me. So now you see I dont see my brother but because of that I dont have very good relationship with my dad.
I would NOT let anyone near my kids who have threatned my kids in the past or future. You can no trust that person Never. And it might hurt some people but its in the kids best intrest.
Not sure if that makes sense..but yeah hope you make a good decision!
Cheers
L.
2006-12-18 08:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by Lucy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nat, you must forgive her. I know that it is hard. We have all been hurt. I, too have been hurt very badly by my father. But, where would we be, if Jesus had not forgiven us? I think that people have a misconception about forgiveness. You think that just because you forgive her, you must allow her back into your life. That is not so. If you feel that she is a threat to your children and if she does things that you do not approve of, you do not have to be around her. Forgiveness is forgiveness plain and simple. You can even forgive her without telling her. I forgave my father for the hurt that he has caused me. But, I cannot tell him, because he'll get angry. He does not realize that a lot of things that he has done has been hurtful. There have been people that have continuously caused me pain, nat. I have forgiven them, but I do not hang out with them. And think of the pain that your family member must be in. From what you say about her, she has a lot of problems, she must really be suffering on the inside. Heart pain, is the worst pain that someone can be in and you really do not know the heart pain that she is in or that anyone is in. Nat, I know that you will make the right decision regarding this. Cat
2006-12-18 08:30:40 · answer #3 · answered by Kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let her nowhere near my kids. My father was abusive and my mother just sat back and let it happen. One day I had had enough of his violence and haven't spoken to him for nearly five years.
It is sad that everyone can't get along, but things are rarely so black and white in life. Keep your kids safe and lead a happy life.
2006-12-18 08:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep he away from your children by all means. At the same time for the sake of your parents do try to cultivate some form of relationship with her but it must take place away from your children. they are vulneravle and must be defended.
2006-12-18 08:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by dovi g 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever makes you comfortable, explain to your parents the reason for your decision
.Are your children affraid of her? if the answer is yes then no one can argue with that.
Good luck
2006-12-18 09:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by st.abbs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick her in the crutch and have nothing more to do with her. Then tell your relatives to Pi** off and stop hassling you to make up with her.
2006-12-18 08:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart you are doing the right thing ,don,t have her in your life . its her loss , she should not have been so obnoxious. she is the one who will suffer in all this . its a true saying when we say /" you cant choose your family . but you can choose your friends". i pity her though . as she is missing out on a lot ........ love patty xx
2006-12-18 08:20:15 · answer #8 · answered by puddykat01 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answer..."Children comes first in any situation"..!
2006-12-18 08:23:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Uhhhh... details kinda long didn`t read it all but totally she should leave u alone, and forgive her if she appologizes
2006-12-21 18:08:02 · answer #10 · answered by Veruca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋