Havent spoken in 13 yrs ?

Question

I have not spoken to my sister in 13 years since our mother passed away . Im not missing out on anything as she is not the nicest person and she is racist and Im in a mixed relationship with two mixed daughters .
But even though Im not really that bothered if she is in my life or not should I make the effort one last time ...........

Answer 1

Some things are better left alone. People can chance in 13 years but, I would not get your hopes up. That could lead to a lot of hurt feelings. You can try although, you may start by sending a card that offers her to call you. That way if she wants you in her life she will call otherwise leave it alone. I hadnt talked to my family for 6 years and one day decided to call my mother. That was a very big mistake. I regret ever calling her, i now wish i would have left it alone. It will affect you always to some degree that she is not in your life i mean thats your sister but, sometimes its better off that way. good luck to you in what you decide to do.

Answer 2

Yes, you should, it's been 13 years, people get born, die & change in that long period of time, If I were you, I'd give it a shot one last time, at least so that when another 13yrs pass by I wouldn't hear myself say " I should've "..To really know that you did what u had to do will make u live your life in peace, because she's not just a friend or far away relitive, she is your sister. & Family no matter how bad they are, are still worth it, you really should give it one last shot & try to mend the relationship between the two of you, she's you're children's aunt & she should be a part of thier lives.I know it's difficult for you to act on it after all this time, but it really shows from your question that you're someone with a good concious who knows what's right & what's wrong, & if you didn't deep inside know that you should try to get in contact with your sisyter, you wouldn't have asked this question, doing the right thing isn't alwayz the easiest thing to do, but someone has to do it & it's always the good people like you.
Pick up the phone & give your sister a call, it's been 13 years & alot of thingz must have changed in her life, maybe she knowz she'z wrong but is too ashamed of herself to admit it , you never know.

Take care & Good Luck

Answer 3

I wouldn't bother if i was you. If she's a racist and your in a mixed relationship with two daughters i would leave well alone, she may cause problems in your own family. I'm sure if she wanted to she could have contacted you over the past 13 years.

Answer 4

Things happen in 13 years.. You never know, she might have changed her mind about races and stuff over the years, maybe she found some sense. You can try to contact her, but dont get your hopes up too high because she might still be the way she was. If there is any way you can think of that might help her change her mind maybe you should try.

Answer 5

We all have faults, issues, problems or whatever you would like to brand it, we're not perfect. You have to overlook her shortcomings and reach out to her. This is your sister. I know it could be difficult because she may have a wall up that's hindering you to develop your relationship with her any further. It will not be easy. You may never know how a simple "sisters" card, birthday or Christmas card will brighten her day. Write a simple letter of how YOU feel about her. Don't overwhelm her of how you feel about her attitude towards race. Be positive in your letter. Write her about the good times you had time. "Remember when......? Stay focused, this is about the relationship between you and her. I hope it works out!

Answer 6

hi, firstly you need to ask yourself why you are even thinking about making amends after all this time what has put the thought in your head, do you think she can be pleasant to your partner and be a good aunt and role model to your kids, or do you think you are just opening up yourself to more stress and heartache do you think with a little give and take on both sides she would even make the effort to be nice to your family for the sake of you, if not then i personally wouldn't bother it is her loss in the end missing out on you and your family, but if you think it might just work out then give it a go as it would be great to have all your family around you especially on special occasions, good luck but only you can come to the right decision as it is you who will have to deal with the fallout or have her in your life

Answer 7

Why not? I think that it would be nice. It could go either way though, but for your sake, I hope she welcomes you with open arms. It is worth a try. Racists are head strong people. Very few change their ways( my father is like that). If she is nasty then walk away. You tried, at least. I wish you luck and commend you for being the bigger person. Merry Christmas!

Answer 8

Can you prepare yourself to be let down by the antics of your sister? You can try by all means, but do you honestly think it's gonna be worth it? Why not keep in touch via email, texting and phone? This way you can re-establish the sister relationship and get to know each other agian before invloving any families. You can let her know about your relationship and her immediate reaction will let you know if you wish to pursue this yet again, or just to let it go and concentrate on what really matters to you.

Answer 9

Obviuosly this is on your mind otherwise you would not be asking this question so i think yes try one more time and if she still doesen't want to know just forget her. your mum wouldn't want this for her 2 daughters to fall out and at least you would have tried.

Family is an important thing. Good luck.

Answer 10

You should probably try one last time, see how it goes.. if she's not prepared to make the effort and is gonna make your life difficult with her narrow minded views at least you can live your life knowing that you did your best?