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My husband and I got into a disagreement about him never doing anything on the weekends with me and the kids. We both work but he makes more and pays most of the bills we use to have a shared checking but he wouldnt pay my bills so I got my own checking a couple of years ago so my bills would get paid on time. So his point was since he makes the most he doesnt have to do anything else around the house or with his family. But if he was invited somwhere or work calls him in his excited to go. Yeaterday I asked him why he refusing to go anywhere with us and he started in about my tighs and went on about how big they are and I should where bigger pants to hide them. I was pretty upset about this and told him I'm through with him and his lack of energy to go anywhere with me and the family. He just kept on acting impossible and making rude comments then later wanted me to sleep with him. I can not lay next to someone after be treated this way.

So what do you guys think ?

2006-12-17 21:27:24 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

18 answers

Give him a taste of his own medicine. He started with your thighs and continued from there. Is there anything about his body you don't like?

If he wants sex after he makes these abusive comments, then tell him no. If he forces you to have sex then you can try to get a rape charge on him. Just because you are married does not mean you HAVE to have sex with the man.

Take the kids out and have fun. They will remember spending time with you and all the fun y'all have. As they grow up, they will resent their father for never being there.

It sounds like he is in the beginning of a mid-life crisis. He wants to revert to what he did before marriage and kids.

Finally, keep your money seperate from his. Keep as much of it as you can incase you do leave him.

Stand up for yourself. You may have gained some weight but you also gave birth to children. If you are comfortable in your body and how you look then don't change because he wants you to or because some jacka** on here call you a "fat b i t c h" or tell you to lose weight. If you are happy with yourself, then flaunt what you've got girl!

2006-12-17 22:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by KJ97Y100 2 · 0 0

To start with it does not matter how much money he makes if you are both working full time the work load needs to be split evenly. As far as him spending time with the family that is not a choice thing that is a responsibility. After all he wanted the children just as much as you and if he thinks he can have them but not spend time with them he is so very wrong. He has no right saying nasty things to you and then wanting sex that is just mean. He sounds like he wants to be able to go to work come home do nothing and be king of his castle without the responsibility. Wake up call in a relationship everything is split 50/50. His money is your money and your money is his money. There for your bills are his bills and his bills are yours. This business of him not taking care of all the bills is silly. It sounds as though he wants to be two separate individuals in a marriage. If that is what he would like ask him if he would like a divorce and then the judge will make sure he pays for his kids, the bills and he will pay until the kids are 18. Your husband needs a reality check, last I heard he was a father to children and a husband. He needs to start taking responsibility or move on. I really hate being that blunt but your husband sounds very rude and disrespectful. He really needs to do some serious changing. You need to lay things out straight with him and tell him exactly how you are feeling. Best of luck to you.

2006-12-18 06:29:54 · answer #2 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0 0

That's terrible how he talks to you. Being your husband he should be supporting you more. And I'm not talking about with money. Just because he pays most of the bills doesn't mean he shouldn't want to spend some time with the family on the weekends. You really need to sit him down and have a nice long talk with him. Tell him how hurtful those things are to you. Sometimes even a talk will help matters. Sometimes people say things out of anger which they shouldn't say but yet they feel bad later on for saying them. Not saying this is an excuse. But try talking and if needed see a counselor. good luck to you. ;o)

2006-12-18 06:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0 0

I suggest you and the kids go out and have a good time without him. I also suggest that you make sure you have some money put aside, and don't take out any joint loans/debts with him.

I don't blame you for not wanting to sleep with him. After all, he may have to see your thighs, and you wouldn't want him to be upset by that. (*think of me giving him a very rude gesture*)

You and the kids have fun without him. Let him fend for himself on the weekends...while you go on picnics, to the park, on skating outings if you live in snow country. There are lots of things you can do that aren't expensive, get you away from him, and leave him all to himself.

2006-12-18 05:55:55 · answer #4 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0 0

What I think is that there are deeper troubles than the size of your thighs. No, if I was in the same situation I would not sleep with him when he obviously has issues not only with your appearance but your relationship as a whole. The two of you need counseling to get to the root of the problem and address it before it tears your family apart.

2006-12-18 05:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by T 4 · 0 0

It sounds to me like there is a bigger issue at stake here. You both need to talk things out. Perhaps he is embarrassed to be seen with you, or the rest of the family for some reason? Find out what that reason is, and work on it.
I do agree that he is being unfair and unsensitive, but leaving him is a bit drastic.

2006-12-18 05:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0 0

I hear this time & time again.
He lashed out at you because you pointed out how lazy he is and he didn't like it. You need to make it perfectly clear to him that you will not accept his disrespect nor tollerate his bad behavior.
You need to hide money in that checking account of yours, say you make $500. a week, only record $400. of it, build a nest egg for yourself and your children. Have a way to leave if you end up needing it.
Hope this helps.

2006-12-18 05:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0 0

It's showdown. He's been acting like a total jerk. You're right, any woman in her right mind wouldn't sleep with a man like that.Disgusting. Girl, better hide your checkbook from him because looks like you'll have to kick his *** out for good.

2006-12-18 05:46:28 · answer #8 · answered by yummybubbles 2 · 0 0

I think you deserve someone that will respect you and love you.
Leave this moron, take him to court, get alimony child support whatever you can and forget about him.
You don't deserve to be mentally abused. After he put you down then he wants you to sleep with him, yuk! no way! Let this one go, I know it will be hard at first but later you will be happy you did.

2006-12-18 05:39:11 · answer #9 · answered by LC 5 · 0 1

Mostly men are that way, always demanding and never helping around. No dont get through with him for such a small thing.you can change yourself a bit. that would be better for your future.

2006-12-18 05:33:04 · answer #10 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0 0

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