My husband and I are having problems ----Do u think i am wrong?

Question

To start off with let me say that I know I am not prefect and i dont wany anyone to think i am dogging my husband....I am simply asking what everyone thinks..My husband and I have our on paychecks and help each other with bills if we need but either way the bills get paid.....the problem is that he always spends his money on clothes and extra cool stuff for his car and when he runs out of money he asks me for some. I am the kind of wife to give in to him because i love him and love to see him happy. Am i wrong for telling him that he has a money spending problem when he always comes back and asks me for money because he already spent his?
I will give him the money willingly if it it something important but i told him he needs to pay off debt so that he will have more money in pocket but he goes and spends $80 on a pair of jeans almost every paycheck. Does anyone think i am wrong?

Answer 1

pool your money together & decide together how it should be
spent.

Answer 2

Money is about the leading cause of arguments in marriage, so I think it's important to do something about this soon, before it hurts you guyz.

I think you are in the right here...he doesn't seem to be able to separate "needs" from "wants". Some people just need to spend everything they have...the money burns a hole in their pocket, and they feel compelled to spend it. They seem to lack the ability to see what is important, and where the money should go first (debt)
Do you guyz have a savings account or retirement account? Do you rent and hope to buy? Do you have money to do "big things" like take a cruise or buy a new car? Or do you live paycheck to paycheck? Not a good lifestyle.

If you love him, you want him to grow and mature and become a better person. If he loves you, he wants the same for you. But there is a place for "loving confrontation". If you see something that you believe is wrong, point it out in terms like "I feel" or "It looks to me" or "this is just my opinion".
It helps to acknowledge your own problems, where you may be short of self-discipline, and offer to "trade". You ask him to make an effort at doing something for you, and he asks you to do something for him.
A relationship that doesn't allow for loving confrontation is not a whole relationship. We all need others who care about us to help us see our blind spots.

Real love is about growth, not about enabling a bad habit.

Answer 3

I agree that he has a problem handling money. Would he be open to sitting down and setting up a budget?? maybe you could help him with that. The question of continuing to give him money is one only you can answer. You know how he will react when you tell him no. Be sure you are putting money (a good chunk) in savings only you know about before you let him know that you have any extra left. What ever you do keep your financial records separate until he changes his ways. His spending habits could come back to haunt YOU. That would be tragic!

Answer 4

no i dont think you are wrong however i feel he is being rather selfish what about you I mean if he had extra cash he might want to share a little something for you like a pair of jeans also. I am not putting him down put if he dont have it and he knows he shouldnt spend, he shouldnt do you that way its not fair, it is hard to tell someone you love sometimes no, but sometimes its the only way, you cant afford it the money that you have left over should be saved until you can spend it and not miss it so badly because it is missed by him having to ask you. please say no to jeans. good luck to you

Answer 5

Being married thrice to alcoholics, I understand thoroughly the place you're coming from with the ultimatums, leaving, and so on. first of all, i could have stored the residing house....once you're procuring it, certainly. If that's in his call, you're screwed!! a bad playing habit isn't diverse than a crack/cocaine habit. the guy in touch never brings any money into the relationship and you're consistently attempting to make ends meet on your funds, accepting excuses and broken delivers. Stand by utilising what you have advised him. count selection him and the lack of ability of the residing house as a LOSS on your section and a discovering adventure. he won't end playing because of the fact he's in denial (no longer accepting that there is a undertaking). Six years is a protracted time...yet i'm specific that that's given you time to "think of" approximately what's authentic and what isn't. Get out on an analogous time as the getting is physically powerful!!

Answer 6

set up a joint account to pay household bills, food, etc. put 10% (or whatever amount you decide on) in a seperate account. that 10% goes to your clothes, car stuff, etc, as an allowance. that is to be used for whatever that person wants. the other money has to be used for the neccessary things, not for "toys". you need to be firm with him. don't give him any more money. you are married, and need to be mature about these things.

Answer 7

No your not wrong you need to have a serious talk with him a marriage is a partnership and you both need to work together .There is nothing wrong with him buying himself jeans or the things he likes he just has to get his priorities straight and know that sometimes we have to economize and have a little on the side for a rainy day.Speak with him im sure he will understand.

Answer 8

no you are not wrong if i guess you will not buy what you need because you think you might need it for bills. and do with out just to have the extra cash to fall back on. so just go out get what you need for a change. and prove a point to him. some times that is what it takes i have been their and done that ,and sometimes still have to prove a point. but good luck.

Answer 9

No i think you right in telling him that he needs to ´watch where he spends his money´

Money shouldn't be something to have an argument about.. its really hard especially since everything we do some way or another involves money.

But i dont think you were wrong in telling him what you told him.

Answer 10

I understand where you are coming from. I do not think you are wrong at all. Try and sit him down and explain that you don't spend on clothes etc first and you consider the bills instead. I would talk to him.

Good luck

Answer 11

You need to have a serious talk with him This guy sounds like a kid and your only helping him foster those habits. Talk with him about it, and tell him that he needs to start taking responsibility for his own bills. lol, this is coming from a 21 yr old.