He simply left while we were chatting & after few hrs sent me a message that he was leavig me and his family.The very next day he caught a return flight to his place, stayed home for the night and before i flew back on the 3rd day, left home with some of his things. Fourth day he returned back, after my parents intervened & managed to talk to him on phone and later that day, flew to our home. He now simply states this as his mistake & has no explaination. As such, he has never been open to me about his feelings or finances, which has always left me assuming things. I want nothing but transparency for our marriage to survive. He wants us to start again & forget the past - without any explaination. I am finding it difficult to forget or cope up with him. My heart and mind are battling with each other and i am unable to think. Should i forget all for once and give another chance? Should i try for another month or two and see if it makes any difference, before i decide on anything? .
2006-12-17 19:16:50 · 13 answers · asked by Manu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would insist on an explanation at the very least. Hes getting off scot free to do whatever he wishes to do.
2006-12-17 19:20:01 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you stay in a marriage and not know the truth about his actions? What was the meaning behind the whole thing? If he wants YOU to forget and move forward, than he needs to tell you the truth so YOU can decide if you can trust him again. How do you truly feel inside? That is what is mainly most important. Not what he says or everyone else. It's your life, and you need to be happy, so everyone around you will be happy. I hope you make the right decision the fits for YOU.
2006-12-17 19:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should ask yourself if leaving him or kicking him out will make you happier in the long run. I lived with a man that was completely unpredictable. He would often do things that made no sense at all to me. The tiniest thing would send him into a rage. But then things that I thought he'd be really upset over he took in stride. As a result I was a bundle of nerves. He never talked about how he felt. He mostly never shared his life with me. I left him 5 years ago. Although I've been in a few relationships, I haven't found anyone I'd be willing to even consider the possibility of marrying. When I'm depressed or lonely I just think to myself " It could be worse, I could still be married to my ex-husband" that thought cheers me right up.
2006-12-17 19:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by crazyolecatlady 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you describe is very strange behavior. If you accept this without explanation it would set a bad precedent. He is asking for your understanding, is he not? If so, then an explanation would accompany a request for understanding. How can you be expected to be understanding if you are not provided with the details that you are supposed to understand?
The whole thing sounds very strange to me. I would need to know more before I could say a lot more. But this doesn't sound like a great place to invest a lot of energy. This doesn't sound like somebody you can trust at this point. Maybe that will change but who knows...
It sounds to me like your husband doesn't know what he wants. And when you deal in matters of the heart with those who don't know what they want, you run the risk of getting hurt. If you go in, go in with your eyes open.
Good luck to you.
2006-12-17 19:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain to him that without a good reason for his behavior you cannot move on or settle your mind due to worrying how this could happen and if it could happen again,,the fact he doesnt share with you is bad but can be worked on with a bit of faith and time,,he really cannot treat you this way unless he wants a miserable wife.tell him how you feel and what you are now thinking,,dont apologise for what you think because you cant stop it,,only he can,you need answers and him wanting to brush it under the table is not going to help,tell him that with talking you feel you can try to understand what has obviously been on his mind,,that is your job ,,as a wife,,to be there thru tough times and to share any problems one of you may have,,that if he does talk to you ,you feel both of you can try to move on and improve what you have,,if he is willing,,if he is not,,that too needs explaining.if you allow this to be forgotten you will forever be walking on eggshells,,never being able to just enjoy a simple good day together as you never know if he could just up sticks and leave again,,you didnt know before...how are you supposed to see the signs the next time? work on him and get how you feel out in the open.
2006-12-17 19:26:43 · answer #5 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, that's just weird. He must've done something shady. For him to leave like that is pretty unforgivable & embarassing I imagine. No telling what he did during that time. If you let him get away with it, he'll probably do it again. I say give the dude his walking papers and tell him to forget about your life together and don't explain yourself.
2006-12-17 19:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are built on trust and loyalty. He needs to put all his cards on the table. And so do you. Marrage needs to be a joint venture for life. I would never do business with a company I could not trust, would you?? You must be respected! Period! Don't sell yourself short. You are number one! Don't forget it!
Good luck and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-17 19:21:54 · answer #7 · answered by Tiger Crane Master 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to come clean and explain himself.
You need to sort out what the problem was before taking him back.
I don't have a problem with him leaving because I can understand that someone might do that if they don't like the situation.
But the fact that he won't talk about it makes him sound like a lunatic. He has to come clean.
2006-12-17 19:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by Aussies-Online 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it were me I would demand a explaination............he OWES it to you......how on earth can you have closure and move on without one?
Something doesnt sounds right.....Im betting he was having an affair and left for the other woman but, she wasnt all that or rejected him.
2006-12-17 19:45:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon. your husband is fooling around with another woman i am not the smartest person in here but i am as well a man as well to he is seeing another woman rid that think and find a man who can be a man not a .2. timmer. my opion?
2006-12-17 19:25:59 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋