What's a good plan for my boyfriend and I to keep our space?

Question

Well my boyfriend and I just got our new dorm assignments for next semester. We are in the same dorm on the same floor! There's over 50,000 people at UT and there's TONS of dorms. What are the chances we were assigned on the same floor?? This past semester we lived in different dorms which was far enough to keep our own space, but close enough to walk. I'm so worried that we're going to want to kill each other before the semester ends. I know there are good things about living so close to each other, but I definitely see more cons than pros in this situation. We're very close, but not ready to live together and that's what I feel this will be like. I know he's worried about it too so that helps. I'm just worried we will get on each other's nerves and not have any time to ourselves or any privacy. We need to have a plan of attack...like rules we have to follow or something like that. I just don't want to be the annoying girlfriend who just randomly shows up or something like that.

We can't change dorms or get an apt because we signed a lease. Also, for the guy who said I should question if I should be with him for asking this let me just clarify- I love my boyfriend and I am committed...just because I love him doesn't mean I'm ready to move in/marry him...those things take time and if you rush them you could ruin things!

Answer 1

Look, don't go crazy and change dorm assignments. Stay right where you are. If he's getting too nuts having you around, break it off..because it obviously wasn't good for either of you anyway.
I lived 2 doors down from my girlfriend (now my wife) and it was crazy but cool all at the same time. The key is to RESPECT EACH OTHER'S NEED FOR SPACE AND PRIVACY. If you tell him to go jump off a bridge cuz you've got studying to do...then he should leave you the hell alone. Likewise, if he tells you he's going to the frat house with his boys...leave him be.

Good luck to both of you. Just remember, study seriously. Your education you'll take with you wherever you go.

Answer 2

There's no way for you to become the annoying girlfriend if you both where assigned to the same dorm. You live there too so he shouldn't think of you that way nor should you. Just make plan's with each other as you always have and respect each others alone time. Since you both have the same feeling about it , it shouldn't be that hard to figure out when you need to keep your space. You come and go just as you always have and he should do the same. Don't use a plan of attack, all that will do is keep you both worrying if your getting on the others nerves and make you wonder if your intruding on their space. Just do as you both have always done and let the rest work itself out naturally.

Answer 3

the easy way would be to change dorms, or get an apt off campus for either of you, but if that is not an option there is a solution. my boyfriend and i have been living with each other for two years now. we still manage to keep our space by simply asking if the other wants company. i have things i can do, and so does he, and im sure you both do being in college, in the morning or whenever, simply ask, did you want to do anything tonight? make it clear that neither of you would be obliged to say yes, and that no offense will be taken if they say no. and if it is set that you are going to do your own thing that day/night, then just do it. neither of you should show up at the others dorm, unless for some kind of romantic type surprise. that is what i do..i call him on my way home from work, ask if he wants to do anything, he says no, i tell him where im going then and when i will be home, and we both just do our own thing.

Answer 4

Hey come on :-) It's not that hard to deal with this if you think it through.... when you said that you were committed to him (and he seems to be reciprocating the same to you), that solves half the problem. I know what you mean tho, just cuz you're a couple doesn't mean living so close together is the right option.... but there're simple things you can do to make sure this doesn't affect your relationship negatively.

Firstly, when you wanna go over to his place, call him, and ask him like, "Umm.... are you sure I can come? Don't wanna intrude....." That'll surely give him his own space. And if HE's coming over without telling you, don't yell at him or anything, just show how scared you really are.... sit with him closely and just let him know how scared you are for the both of you! He'll understand :-)

And hey, going through a tough time like this, you already know tough times (if dealt with properly) lead to amazing relationships.... so.... hey y not make it an opportunity? And trust me, eventually, if u guys really bond a lot, neither of you would want that much "space". You'll both start appreciating sudden surprises of each other's visit :-) let me know how it goes.... :-) Good luck :-)

Answer 5

talk online from room to room, plan dates and meet each other there rather then drive together and then leave sepreate for the night. Allow him to have friends and dont judge him for hanging with other girls.

Write each other love notes and slip them under each others doors, get a membership to diffrent gyms, chances are if your not ready to commit he probally isnt the one for you anyway. Question ever reason why you are asking this and why you are together.

Answer 6

If you are both in agreement, surely it would be easy enough for one of you to change your dorm assignment, thereby solving your dilemma in one fell swoop.