how do you get i thought of your spouses's past sexual experainces out of your head?

Question

and if another woman blew his mind better than you doeven though you do things together he's never done with anyone wlse how do you know,and don't say ask they'lll say it you wouln't you reply that,I have one woman in particular who bothers me bad and he's been with quite a few befor me some we actually see and talk to and i can't get the picture outof my head

sorry for the spelling i didnt look good enough befor i sent it out

Answer 1

There no reason to hang out with them. Just stop seeing them. Problem solved. It's obvious that you haven't tried to please him. Ask him what he wants. You may be surprised to find out what he really wants from you. Communication is a good thing.

Answer 2

If another woman was so much better, why is he with you now? You have a past too. Think about his exes the way you think about yours-it didn't work out for whatever reason, and you don't sit around pining for an old boyfriend, do you?
One thing I can say is this-confidence is attractive. Being insecure all the time, or making him feel like you don't trust him simply because he's has had sex with other people before you, is only going to drive him further away-and it doesn't sound like that's what you want. Is it just him? Or do you suspect he's cheating? If there are no other problems like that, you have to just let it go and concentrate on the present instead of the past, or it will end up causing trouble in your relationship.
YOU are the one he is choosing to be with every day, so you must have something good going for ya that he finds attractive. If he wanted one of his exes, or any other woman, he would pursue that.
And by the way-this isn't something that's worth getting all stressed over. There aren't many adult male virgins running around out there that you would want to be with anyway, so whoever you would be with, even if it wasn't him, is going to have past sexual experiences-if that's all this is about.

Answer 3

I struggle with the same type of thing EVERY day. I try to talk it out with him, but it always ends up with him getting really mad at me. I was a virgin when I met him, he was with four women before me and I think I know too much about his past for my own good. I am ALWAYS concerned that I suck in bed, am uglier, not "fun" enough, anything I can compare myself to, I do. I havent met any of them, but one lives in his old (very small) town, that he sees everytime he goes home to visit, have common friends etc, and I spend all my time thinking WHAT he is doing when he goes home. I have seen pictures(and myspaces) of all the girls and it just makes me feel the same way you do. I can say the only thing that makes me feel better is, that was before he met you. He can't change it, so you will have to deal with it. You just have to tell yourself that when he was doing those "things" he didnt know that some day later he would find a BETTER girl, who is WAY more than just someone how can "blow his mind". Girl, there is so much more to a relationship than sex. If all he could say was that she blew his mind, then thats probably the only thing they had in common. You have much more to offer than that and he sees that-that is why you are with him now. I dont think anyone dates "down", you only find what is better and move on. If he ever makes you feel like you arent the best, then its time to move on despite how hard it is. I know what its like to have those thoughts in your head, they are nothing but trouble. PLEASE dont worry about the ho who blew his mind, if she blew his mind, she must have learned it somewhere and probably has blew alot of guys "minds"! Just try and focus on the present, and what you can do to make yourself blow his mind even more so he'll forget! Good Luck and feel free to message me if you still need talk..I know what its like :(

Answer 4

Okay, here is the deal. He chose you. There is more to a marriage then just "blowing his mind". Come on, just get over it and move on. Don't hang out with them anymore, and move on. There were plenty of women that were better in bed then my wife, but my wife is the best thing that has ever happened to me and i married her for more then just sex. I have to believe that you guys got married for more then just sex as well. Just live you life in the present and not the past,

Answer 5

Sometimes it's better to just not know. I know that my wife of 26 years had a boyfriend before she met me, but I've never asked her if they had sex because I'd rather not know. I suspect the answer would be no because he was something of a religious freak. However, I still do not plan to ever ask simply because I don't want it weighing on my mind the way that it is on yours.

Answer 6

I for one can relate to you on this b/c I have had problems such as yours and w/ time and experience I have learned how to better cope w/ these issues. I am a perfectionist. I want to be the best friend and best lover to my man. I strive to be the best I can be, b/c my ultimate goal is to make him happy, but no one is perfect, and getting too wrapped up in these situations by over analyzing only puts added stress on yourself and your marriage. I am also insecure. I trust my boyfriend, but I let my insecurities get the best of me. If you allow doubt to cloud your mind it will ruin your relationship. If you let your insecurities have control over you, then you will never have peace of mind and your husband will grow tired of trying to reassure you. Let the past stay in the past. He is married to you not them, so obviously he loves you. I understand your concern about the situation, but if you trust him you must let it go, b/c by bringing it up to him you are allowing him to reflect on the incidents that he otherwise wouldn't be dwelling on.

Answer 7

Obviously they werent as good as you for some reason since your his wife and they arent. Let it go and concentrate on your relationship w/him and not what he had experienced in the past. Always be open to suggestions that he would like to do and be creative and spontaneous. Never let the bedroom get boring and try differant things or differant places.

Answer 8

Remember you are the one he married, not her. You must blow his mind too or he would not have entered into a committed relationship with you. The best thing you can do is to find things that bolster your self confidence. Once you are confident in your abilities everything else will fall into place. I am willing to bet you are thinking of your spouse's ex more than he is!

Answer 9

Did he have an affair or is this something from before the two of you got together? If this is in his past get over it, he's with you and that is whee he wants to be. If he is cheating on you dump his sorry a**.

Answer 10

He married you, let the other woman think that you are better in bed then she is because he married you and not her.Look at it that way and you will see that your husband loves something about you ,he wouldn't of married you ,he would of married that other woman.You better stop what your doing because if you don't your husband will start thinking about that other woman and it will be your felt.