I am starting a new job tomorrow, I'll be working 12am-8am. and my boyfriend works from 7am-4pm. I need the money, is there a way that can make this easier not only on him, but on the both of us? we've been together for 1year and 1/2. and livning together for 3 months. we have always breathed the same air, gone to bed together, and woken up together. is this more than what I am bargaining for?
2006-12-17 17:42:58 · 14 answers · asked by Zig 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My husband and I work different shifts and have for 11 out of 17 years. It can be done. Just make him a priority when you are together. Sleep first thing in the morning after work. This is hard to learn but it can be done. From 4-12 make him the center of your world. Go to bed with him before you have to go to work so he doesn't miss that as much. Call him if possible in the morning when he wakes up to say good morning and wish him a good day. Meet him at the door naked when he comes home. He will appreciate it and you might get a little extra sleep after. ;-)
2006-12-17 17:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by T 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you two. This is going to be the roughest time in your relationship. If you both have a day off during the week that you can spend together, you might make it. The rest of the days when you don't see each other, you'll just have to tell yourselves that "it has to be done." But, it really need to be a "has to." If your new job doesn't lead to a better one, or isn't part of a "plan" to make "ends meet temporarily," or for some bigger purpose, you shouldn't take it, at all! Couple-ship is a weird thing. It only works when you're together. It's very crude but true what my boss told me one time. He had been doing divorce law for 30 years when he told me. He said simply, "couples who don't ****, don't stay together." I thought it was very crude, but over the past 15 years of divorce practice, I think often of that advice and can see it in so many different situations, all of which resulted in divorce. Good luck to you!
2006-12-17 17:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by KevinMack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In one simple word - yes your hours of work and his will collide and cause problems. But on the brighter side - if you work at it together it can work out for both of you. I have been living with my bf for nearly a yr now and we both work a variety of shifts. A lot of the time he is the lump in the bed when I get home and I am the lump in bed when he goes off to work. what we do is plan out what we will do for and with each other when we do have days or time off. We try to make each moment count when we are together - even if it means renting a video and getting a pizza and just snuggling on the sofa. Or we plan outings (a walk in the park - or the beach or making love in the middle of the day - or first thing in the morning and so much more). It is unhealthy to spend each minute of each day together anyway. Just make your time together really count.
2006-12-17 17:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can work this one out. If you go to sleep as soon as you get home you will be sleeping while he is at work and would'nt be around you anyways. You get up at six just when he has a meal prepared for you both. you share the evening together. You put him to bed, get caught up on a couple of things without being bothered and then off to work. You need the money and this will bond your relationship as a challenge conquered. Do it. Both of you could allways look for more convienient work while working. It seems to be easier to get a job once you allready have one.
2006-12-17 17:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by SeaJayDboss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to find another job in the mean time with the same hours as your BF. Work toward a solution that both of you can be happy with. The important thing is that you keep working on it. It will be a problem if you let this go on for too long and do nothing about it.
2006-12-17 17:50:33 · answer #5 · answered by Sax M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll be fine, I know lots of people who's relationships have survived different work schedules. It will take a little time for your routine to adjust, but you'll be fine. Just be sure to make time for each other, hopefully you've got at least one day off that's the same.
I actually had a schedule like that once, the one day we were both home was Sunday, so that was our special day. I don't have that relationship anymore and I don't miss the guy but I do miss the special Sundays...
2006-12-17 17:48:00 · answer #6 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change always causes havoc, however you are both adults and can deal... so he sleeps while your gone you sleep while hes gone and enjoys the rest of the time together and remember there are days off . you guys van work it out if you want to
2006-12-17 17:47:25 · answer #7 · answered by loveamouse7767 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can make it work. come home and sleep until about 4:30. spend a few hours together. take a nap with him when he goes to bed if you need to. then wake up early enough to go to work. trust me, if you spend every waking moment together, you'll get sick of each other
2006-12-17 17:48:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A little time away from each other might be just fine for you two. You'll still get to see each other in the evening, and if your love really is true, you'll make it through this okay.
2006-12-17 17:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by kenrayf 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but yes. it's simple logic...with him starting work right before you get off, and when he gets home he'll wanna sleep 'till about when you go to work, and not seeing each other much...it's gonna be hell. my sister went through the same kinda thing...it ended in divorce.
2006-12-17 17:46:52 · answer #10 · answered by Pyromaniac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋