My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We know it is right and we plan on getting married in a year. In a year we will be attending the same college, and be ready financially and emotionally. I've been doing searches to get ideas for themes and have discovered most people are much older than we are. We are both 19 right now. Neither of us believe in divorce and we have discussed everything that should be discussed before a couple gets married. I read answers to similar questions and discovered most people said "what's the rush," but if you feel it's right in all aspects, is it wrong not to wait?
2006-12-17 17:40:08 · 6 answers · asked by goaliegirl87 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I once had a marriage counselor give me the statistics on divorce in the US-and the highest rate is for people who get married before they are 25. Still, regardless of age, this country's divorce rate is almost 60%. The odds are against us all.
That being said, if you live your life by the statistics, and only take risks that are acceptable according to them, you may miss out on being the part of that percentage, even though it is smaller, that actually makes it. If you prepare yourselves for it, love each other, and are willing to give what it takes to make a marriage work, then you have just as much of a chance as anyone.
Marriage is no picnic. It's hard, it takes work, effort, and patience. It is not something to be entered into lightly, but you have already been together for a few years, so it's not like you haven't had some practice dealing with each other in the day to day.
I think the main concern that people have with getting married at a young age is that you haven't yet been through some of the experiences that define you as a person. "You don't know who you are yet, so how can you know for sure who you want to be with" type ot thing.
But the thing is, who decides that magic number when that is supposed to happen? Those experiences don't stop coming at us as long as we're still breathing. Who you are at 25 is not the same person you will be at 35, etc etc. You just need to KNOW that as you and he change and grow, that you will each still be who the other wants to be with.
Besides-if you wait for the time when everyone else approves of things you want to do, you won't get to do much. If you are mature enough to get married and start down that path that you are about to take, then you should also be mature enough to know that you don't need anyone else's approval or permission for such a major decision.
2006-12-17 18:24:18 · answer #1 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been in your shoes, I know the feeling! The thing is you may change, what you want right now, you may not in 5-10 years! All though nobody should stop you, from doing what you think is right. Life, marriage it's all a gamble, who knows maybe you'll have the kind of love that lasts forever! Give us all something to hope for! Young love is the best, if you can just hold on to that through your years together...
2006-12-17 18:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by Aces 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it wrong to wait? Some couples have been together for years, and they are not married. Kurt Russell & Goldie Hawn for example. Sometimes you can be married without the paper to tell you that. Heck in some states just being together as long as you've been together is considered married. But at any rate, Congrats on what sounds like a great relationship...
2006-12-17 18:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by bad1bud 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart if you feel that you are ready do what you want, lots of people are judgmental but I feel that you must follow your extincts....Congrats and I hope you have many blessings for doing the right thing
2006-12-17 18:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by TAE M. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no if you both feel that it's right hopefully you'll do better than rest of us
2006-12-17 18:32:04 · answer #5 · answered by space case 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ready, do it.
2006-12-17 18:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋