they recently all got together (without you) and drew names to save money? Do you give the gifts you already bought anyway? Not go, since you're not included in the other get-togethers? I'm confused. And this family is whacked.
2006-12-17 16:59:54 · 13 answers · asked by MissFred 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Other - Holidays
I give my family gifts throughout the year and rarely even receive a thank you--and my husband is treated like crap. I'm just sick of the drama and BS.
2006-12-17 17:16:03 · update #1
Thanks for all your wonderful answers! After giving it some thought, I think I'll let them know we won't be at the get-together this year and don't want any presents... but I will drop off all the presents we already bought and wrapped because I do love these wacky people, thoughtless as they are. Next year I'll spend my time and money on my own kids, my sweet husband, and his kids though. It's wrong that the bossiest people in the family get to ruin all the holidays! Merry Christmas to all!
2006-12-18 07:22:44 · update #2
Would you have been upset if this never happened and you gave all those gifts to them? Do you only give based on what you will receive?
Their actions are unimportant. If you were happy to give those gifts before this circumstance you should be happy to give them still. Giving is unconditional, or it's not giving at all.
2006-12-17 17:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by Shushnik 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, how awful!! I would be very hurt. But I would do everything I could to keep that hurt from developing into anger.
Peace on Earth.
In previous years, did everyone get gifts for everyone else? If so, was there an undercurrent of "this is too much..." Had you been there, would you have voted for their solution? I could not tell whether or not your name was even included in the drawing...! How did you learn about this? Obviously it was not timely! Is there going to be some specific get-together where all these gifts are to be exchanged? Who else was excluded? Ewwww.
What a rotten situation. I don't think I could give the gifts anyway, I'm afraid I would want to throw them at them. Life is too long to "not go".. Then what?
I think I would go to the matriarch of the Whacks and say "Oh my, I am in such a quandary"...(tell the story)... What should i do??" That should get the word out without you losing any dignity in the process.
Honestly, if you end up not giving the gifts, you should do with them whatever will make you happy, or at the very least, not resentful. Return some, enjoy some, give some away, perhaps even give some to the originally intended recipient, IF that makes you happy. Remeber, you did nothing wrong or inconsiderate.
Other than that, ho, ho, ho! Have yourself a merry little Christmas
2006-12-17 17:36:12 · answer #2 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry what happened to you. Since you are not included in other get-togethers, that sucks. You are obviously a thoughtful, caring person stuck with a family of self-centered people.
I would look at the gifts and decide which one you want to give to your 'assigned' relative. For the remaining gifts, see if there are any you want to keep for yourself or close friends, and either donate some or all of the rest to charity, or return them for cash.
You will get so much more satisfaction from any that gifts that you donate, and that may help make your Christmas more meaningful.
Have a very nice Christmas. And don't let your 'relatives' spoil your holidays - they don't know what kind of good person they are missing.
2006-12-17 17:13:51 · answer #3 · answered by Tom-SJ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I sometimes have a whacked family, too... Some people just aren't very thoughtful and others do it purposely.
If I were you, I would take back the gifts and get my money back. Just bring the gift for the name they drew FOR you, and be as pleasant as you can be. (If it was intentional, it will drive them crazy that they didn't get under your skin.) If an opportunity arises, interject that next time you don't want to miss out on any of the fun and you'd like to be there for the drawing next time. Suggest that names be drawn at the Thanksgiving gathering so everyone has plenty of time to prepare. It will make them think twice next time and when they reflect on it, they will realize that you are the better person.
Best of luck to you and Merry Christmas in spite of the whackos! ; )
2006-12-17 17:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they gave you a name of someone to buy for, then I would. And I would go and let them know how you feel, being left out is a horrible way for anyone to treat you, especially your family. If you don't face this it will eat you up, Take all the gifts you already bought and see what you can return, and buy yourself something. or find some homeless people and give them away. Have a Happy Holiday and don't let this get you down.
2006-12-17 17:12:21 · answer #5 · answered by lennie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They do sound whacked, and I'd be really hurt if I were you. I think I would try to return the gifts if I could. Do you have the receipts? Then just give one gift to the person you drew. Later I would sit down with 1 or more of them and have a heart to heart talk about why you were excluded.
2006-12-17 17:03:15 · answer #6 · answered by braennvin2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the ingredient that became lacking from this became, why does she hate Christmas? there's a reason of her habit and, as her husband, you would be able to desire to confirm what it particularly is. perhaps she had a annoying adventure or lost a chum, etc. Her habit sucked. it relatively is a given. yet you need to get to the muse of her habit by making use of looking out what thoughts have been making use of it. for sure it became a large adequate deal that she could no longer think of to place your appreciation for the holiday first so because it relatively is gotta be something huge. perhaps counseling is with a view to make her open as much as you? you need to physique of techniques this in a non threatening way yet verify she is conscious which you would be able to desire to understand why she behaved this way so which you additionally could make issues extra useful. as quickly as you detect out what's particularly at the back of it, you are able to tell her how lots you're taking excitement in whilst she is supportive of your exhilaration and are available to a compromise for next 3 hundred and sixty 5 days.
2016-10-15 03:59:03 · answer #7 · answered by balick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them about it. In some families, the children draw names to see which brother or sister they will give a gift to, but everybody exchanges gifts with the parents. Does this scenario apply to you? Ask them if they all intended not to exchange gifts with you. There is no point in getting mad or hurt before you verify the facts. Verify before deciding on a course of action.
2006-12-17 17:11:48 · answer #8 · answered by Northstar 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like many already stated here, you can choose to give them each their gifts, or you can go along with the name draw and return the extra gifts after Christmas.
2006-12-17 21:56:38 · answer #9 · answered by soulful thinker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go. Donate the gifts to a local orphanage and spend the day with your most beloved. Make the best of it instead of trying to maintain a forced relationship with some folks just because you happen to share the same blood (or your spouse's blood).
2006-12-17 17:03:12 · answer #10 · answered by In 2 Deep 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋