I really need help. I am 34yrs old. I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago and she hasn't called but I heard from her atty in a letter. She and I haven't spoke since Thxgiving when she was uncooperative about spending 1 hour with my family. I cancelled our wedding 3x because she would throw temper tantrums, tyraids, roll her eyes, etc and she is 36yrs old. We have seen 7 counselors but she will not respect me or submit to my spiritual authority. We have been seperated for a year but have been trying to work it out. When she doesn't want me to be the leader/husband, I am not. She is very critical, stubborn, unappreciative, honoree, uncooperative, and unwilling to follow my leadership. I love her and she is the girl of my dreams but she is emotionally abusive. She does have mood swings where at times she can be very sweet to me. We also have a very restrictive sex life and just about non existant.
2006-12-17 16:51:31 · 10 answers · asked by moneybankbankmoney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello, the first time she canceled the wedding you should have gotten the hint.
No woman is going to "submit" to a man nowadays: slavery is over.
2006-12-17 16:54:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you ever want to have a successful marriage with any woman - this one or any other - then you have to learn one very important lesson.
MARRIAGE IS A UNION OF TWO EQUALS.
That may not have been true in your father's time, but it is today. NO modern woman is going to be subservient to you. The word "husband" has nothing to do with the word "leader". There is NO leader in a good marriage, just two people who make decisions together, respecting each other's views and opinions. I'm not surprised she throws tantrums and withholds sex, if you are trying to rule the roost.
I'm sorry, but if you can't accept that, then I think it's highly unlikely you will ever find a woman who will put up with you.
2006-12-17 17:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by Kylie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have some interesting ideas in your question that perhaps are keys to your problems with her. You talk about having "spiritual authority" and "leadership". Did you discuss with her, before marriage, that you expected to be the "leader" the "spiritual authority" in the relationship...or did you just assume she understood this would be the case? If you honor and respect yourself you will honor and respect her. You cannot control her...but you can control how you react to her. So far you seem to be reacting with expressions of authority and she is rejecting this. I'll bet you have chosen the counselors. AS long as you try to dictate how she should respond to you (and your leadership and spiritual authority) you will have trouble with what is obviously an independent woman. Honestly, my support goes to her...until you learn that she is just as entitled to her spiritual opinions, and to choose her spiritual direction as you. Sounds like you blew it.
2006-12-17 17:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Why are you in love again?
OK - I thought about this some more and I owe you a little more than the above.
She sounds lost to you. I don't know how else to tell you, honey. She hasn't called, she doesn't seem to care about what you have to say. I mean you answer your own questions.
7 counselors? Give that up. It isn't working.
Just when is she sweet to you? When she wants something? Think about it.
No sex? Could she be having it elsewhere?
The girl of your dreams. Nightmares honey. Nightmares.
Wake up. Absolutely lost to you. Please Love elsewhere. You probably have something to offer someone but not her. Not her.
2006-12-17 16:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
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2016-12-18 15:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by salguero 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she could be fun sounds like if she wasn't expected to "submit" that'll throw any woman into rebellion just for the hell of it the only place i'd want to be forced to subit is in the bedroom ;)
2006-12-17 17:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by Camy 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2006-12-17 16:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't beleive that you love this woman. I beleive you wish to CONTROL her but that is not love, that is just one step from being abusive. She is better off without you.
2006-12-17 16:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Move on , the passion is gone with this wifey.
start thinking mature and find a decent woman that will have passion and chemistry.
2006-12-17 16:55:15 · answer #9 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
why must you be the leader and why must you prostelyze??? BOO on YOU!!!!!
2006-12-17 17:26:51 · answer #10 · answered by BOOYAH 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋