Why is it that we gay people tend to revolve our identity on being gay?

Question

I am gay, but I am also hispanic, I am a son, I am a partner, a brother, an uncle, an employee. Why is it that everything revoloves around being gay?

Answer 1

Because everyone else identifies you as being gay. Your not "you" your the "gay guy" and you have become accustomed to viewing yourself the way others do.

Answer 2

I think it's because it's sort of in your thoughts so much, especially since a lot of people have a really trying time discovering their sexual preference or facing it or whatever, it is something that has had a pretty big influence on your life. I know in my case realising I was gay provoked all sorts of uncomfortable feelings and fears on my part; there is nothing else I can think of that has compared to that. It is scary, in a way, as well--it sets you apart (if even in your own mind) from 'the rest of them' and in some cases it is seen as a very bad thing; all of this stuff makes it a little more of a pressing issue than being someone's son, of a certain race, etc.

Answer 3

It doesn't, it's only your perspective that does that.

I'm a lesbian, but I'm also and much more importantly, a mother to my teenage son, a daughter to my parents, a sister to my brother, and a completely equal partner to the love of my life.

Yes, I do a lot of voluteer work in my community, both communities actually. The one I live in as well as the GLBT community.
I also have volunteered at my son's school, have volunteered with my partner's Uncles traveling history museum which does presentations to other schools and I also volunteer at my local community theatre.

Being gay is only a small part of who I am, not the be all and end all of my existence. I have many more important priorities in my life.

Answer 4

Because SOCIETY keeps pushing it in our faces. We too have lives independent of our sex lives, but when you walk down the street and hear "queer or fag" coming from all sides (I don't, but many do) then its not easy to forget your private life, is it? And what happens when authority punishes a child unfairly? They rebel, which is basically what the gay community has been doing. You have to realize that the Gay rights movement is not that old, only from the early '70's or so has it been "safe" from a government or physical level to be out. Before that the government would open a file on you or even your safety could be threatened by basher's. Now, its much safer, but still not safe. So, like children we rebel and force ourselves on the public while we misbehave. Its an in-your-face payback to being pushed aside. Is it adult, no, but we've established that the gay rights movement hasn't yet reached adulthood.

Answer 5

It's not just gay people who revolve their life around one aspect of their identity. I think it depends on the person and what's important to them. I , for example, revolve my life around being a giant nerd. Some vegans seem to make that their "thing" while others don't, some Christians do the same thing, others don't. I think gay people just get all this attention.

Answer 6

Maybe it does for you....but not for everyone.


It is one that needs to be spoken though. Everyone can look at me and see that I am a white man. If you meet me at work you know what I do for a living, by the pictures on my desk you can see that I am a devoted son and a loving father. Hopefully by my life those around me will know that I am a Christian.

But, if I don't mention it you don't know that I'm gay.

Answer 7

yes you may be all of those things but being gay is the only thing that you really have to fight for right. It's just like me yeah im gay, im a chick, im black, and im a college student. For me there will be always someone that thinks "here comes the black chick" now the only difference is, is that now they say "here comes the black gay chick". I don't think that i try to revolve everything around being gay but i do try to show that im not a shame of being gay or black. In trying to show my pride i try to break both black and gay sterotypes. but this is just for me i can't speak for all of us.

Answer 8

The same reason a midget identifies with being a midget... Being black in the U.S. is the same way (Do you think a man in Zimbabwe calls himself a "proud black man" or just a proud man?)
Your a minority, for that reason people both in and out of that minority see you as such.
Consider yourself lucky... I'm white, male, heterosexual.... I'm just "a guy" that's about as interesting as a double scoop of vanilla ice cream (bland to the last drop).

Answer 9

I'm more interested in all 5 other paths of your life. Why does the one thing that you didn't list have to be under the spotlight?

Answer 10

I think many of us center ourself on a certain aspect of our personality at different times in our lives. In a group of gays I frequently find myself focusing on my own hunkiness or humility. Unfortunately none of them seem to.