Advice from married people please?

Question

I am about to get married in less than two weeks, and i want to know about experiences people have had. Any advice? I know we must be honest and communicate, but what have people learned from experience that makes and keeps a marriage successful?

i just wanted to say, that although i am asking for advice from people i don't know, i am only doing to to see how other people have handled things, and what they have learned along the way. I plan to experience everything on my own, and to be the best wife possible. I am sure that we will be fine and are commited to each other, i just wanted to know what people have learned along the way.

Answer 1

Compromise is the most important thing. It is such a general sounding word, but it is the application of it to the every day mundane things that makes a difference. Who has to do what chores, where to go to dinner, whether or not to have sex, who gets to hold the remote, etc-are all the tiny little things that you don't think about for the long run-but are what directly impacts our attitudes and feelings toward each other. You cannot give 100%. You have to give 50, and he has to give 50. Sometimes you have to assert yourself, and sometimes you have to bite the bullet for love. When one person is not shooting for that balance, you're going to have problems.
Away time. You will both still need to have an identity on your own to feel you have a fulfilling life, and to not feel the strain and boredom of the old ball and chain.
Agree on how to fight. It sounds like dooming yourself, but this is important. Everyone is different-but you WILL fight. Expect it, prepare for it, and it will do less damage. If you need to take an hour to yourself so you don't fly off the handle, or if you need to sit down and rationalize an argument, however you deal with trouble, plan for it. That way no one storms out of the house while the other feels abandoned and worries where you are. Or one wants to get it all out, yelling and hashing it out to get it in the open and over with, while the other just gives in to avoid confrontation. However you as a couple's personality would best handle a situation, you have to make sure it will be in a way that the fight doesn't do even more damage than the original problem.
Dating-Remember the little flutters and excitement that were there, the anticipation of a new experience, when you first got together? It always goes away if it's left unattended. You still need to date, not just to spend time together. To get dressed up for the other, to share a new experience, to create a new bond, to surprise each other. Sex will eventually become routine, and you will have to be willing and able to reignite that flame.
Be willing to be honest, at any cost. If you ever get to the point where you can't stand him, or you're bored with the relationship, or you max out a credit card he didn't even know you had-you have to be willing to talk about it. And you have to make yourself be the type of person he feels he can talk to you about those things. If you let 10 years go by with him leaving the toilet seat up, and you are peeved but never say anything because it seems too trivial or shallow, you will end up displacing that anger and fighting more about other things. But he also needs to be able to do the same. If you don't discuss these things, big or small, you don't have the opportunity to fix or change them, and you are missing out on that much more peace and happiness.
Your spouse should be your best friend. Not to say that you shouldn't have your own separate friends-but when you have a joy to share, you need a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board, advice, or a pat on the back-your spouse should be the person you would go to first. All of the intimacies that we need and desire as people have to be given and received through that person. Alot of people split up because of someone cheating, but most of the time it's not because another woman or man was more attractive. Deep down it's about being able to have all of our emotional needs met-we wouldn't put ourselves in situations that lead to cheating if we already have that.

Answer 2

Marriage is not a wedding day. It's not a happy ending. It's not even a decent day off after a five day work week.

Marriage is work. It's a whole lot of blood. And then there's the chicken noodle soup, the shaving cream, the sweat, the dog piss and the tears.

It's kids with troubles, a miscarriage, gallstones and a whole family full of wackos that you didn't realize you also married.

It's too many bill's and not enough time. Not enough sex and too much fighting. One too many cats and one beer short of a six pack.

It's one glorious sunset, but only one.

It's waking one morning to some guy you don't know. And it ain't a pretty sight.

It's fidelity, almost infidelity, insanity, bankruptcy, talk of divorce, therapy and reconciliation.

It's bliss - not.

It's holding some guy who's crying over his dead brother and holding some woman over a miscarriage.

It's beating your head against the wall, your fist against the bathroom door and burning both knees on the carpet.

It's wondering if you can take one more day of this other "person".

It's moment after moment of stuff that just isn't worth it.

but luckily it's also
year after year of stuff that is.
25 years and holding

Answer 3

Every day pick something about your mate that you appreciate and tell him so. Tell him that you love him several times a day.

Always make him feel like the sexiest man on earth in the bedroom. Always treat each bedroom encounter like you did when you were dating or first married. Make sure you are looking your best and are an active participant. This may sound silly since you are about to be newly weds but there will come a time when this will take effort. Put the effort in to your physical relationship, it will pay off a thousand fold in other areas of your marriage!

Answer 4

This are just some of the things th eyou need to considerate in order to live a happy married life
1- the past is past and there for you have to forget about it.
2-only ask if you really want to know( and you sure you can handle the truth)
3-make sure the the house the you move in together have at less 2 bathrooms.
4-give privacy to each other.
5-be intimate.
6-make sex a priority.

Answer 5

To make, and keep a Marriage, successful, would be not to lose, that closeness and love you both share, and above all else never go to bed mad at each other. Apologizing when you know that you were the one to start an argument helps your relationship to be stable, always keep yourself groomed, and presentable when your husband comes from work is a must. and above all else tell each other that you love him/her. I have been married for 48 yrs. and my husband and I have always been close to each other, do we get bored, I don't think so. we love each other a lot and when our time ends here on earth, I hope that the one who stays here would not suffer too much until he or I are together again.

Answer 6

Andii.............You are about to have the adventure of your young life.

There are many issues that can cause problems in a marriage.
Giving space to the other person is one key factor in my opinion.
The joined at hip thing is crazy. Men need to be away. Women need to be away. I call that space.

I traveled on business for many years...though out the United States and foreign countries. At the end of a week or two, I could not wait until I got home to my wife and children. My spouse traveled, also. By the end of a week, I was missing her very much.

Money and intimacy are another huge problem. You will have good financial years and you will have some problem years.

To sum this all up: In sickness and in health...Till death do us part.

Best to you.

Sandy

Answer 7

Agree that it is ok to disagree. Keep talking, keep doing what you're doing today that makes me you happy do more of it and it will keep the flame burning for a long time. Be willing to make changes or adpt to changes as time changes. Keep an open mind. Be in tune with how our partner is feeling and be sure they are hearing you when you express your feelings. Always be honest with yourself and to each other. Don't sweat the small stuff and always strive for happiness.

Best of luck and marriage is a beautiful thing.

Answer 8

Don't go to bed angry, also, and this goes for both of you, don't be selfish, don't think about yourselves first, put him first, and him put you first.

Compliment each other ALL the time, tell each other what you appriciate about each other.

Also set aside at least 1 day a week to spend together, like a date night.

Even though you said it, be open and honest with each other, and keep the lines of communication open.

Hope that this helps, and I wish you the best.

God Bless and Merry Christmas.

Answer 9

Besides the communication and honesty there also must be trust in the relationship. If you have any doubts of the man u are marrying then that should be a hint not to.
- never go to bed angry
- on disagreements try to compromise
- support each other on decision making

Answer 10

10 Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships
1. Stupid Secrets- Withholding important information for fear of rejection
2. Stupid Egotism- Asking not what you can do for the relationship but only what the relationship can do for you
3. Stupid Pettiness- Making a big deal out of the small stuff
4. Stupid Power- Always trying to be in control
5. Stupid Priorities- Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, and chores instead of focusing on your relationship
6. Stupid Happiness- Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good
7. Stupid Excuses- Not being accountable for bad behavior
8. Stupid Liaisons- Not letting go of negative attachments to friends and relatives who are damaging to your relationship
9. Stupid Mismatch- Not knowing when to leave and cut your losses
10. Stupid Breakups- Disconnection for all the wrong reasons