nothing specific, just something I've been worried about. how would you support them if you don't agree with them? Say your husband gets in a fight with your mother, and you can see both sides. Is support defending them no matter what? Is it defending them to the world and saying what you really think in private? Or something else entirely?
2006-12-17 15:29:45 · 20 answers · asked by mountain_laurel1183 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oops, meant "wondering about," not "worried about"
2006-12-17 15:31:59 · update #1
Tell him or your mother that you're NOT getting in the middle of it.
Tell them BOTH that. Not fair to YOU at all.
:)
2006-12-17 15:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by Boodie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very important to be able to "agree to disagree". You are not going to feel the same way about every issue. In your example, I'd tell my husband that I could see valid points on both sides, but that I'd rather not get involved. If either side tries to force you into a corner, let them know it makes you uncomfortable because you love and want to support them both (and you'll have to hear it from both). It isn't fair to put you in the middle of their fight and it certainly isn't good policy to defend your husband all the time because he could be really wrong and how does that make you look?
2006-12-17 23:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think just being able to see their side is supporting them. I dont think you HAVE to agree with them to support them. I would also mention that I understood where the opposition was coming from as well.
Support them also in their belief. They have that belief for a reason, and even if you dont believe it the same as they do, say that but tell them you still support them for their beliefs.
example for what i would say:
"i really understand where youre coming from with blahblah, but I can understand the other person's point as well." and leave it at that. I dont think you really have to defend them if you dont fully agree with what they are saying full heartedly.
If you want to get into it more, I would state the things that I did agree with on either side or why I can see the view point from both sides..
2006-12-17 23:37:50 · answer #3 · answered by senacia 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to agree with your spouse all the time. It's good to disagree sometimes. Just have some understanding as to why your spouse feels that way and enlighten him or her on another perspective. If my lover were a yes-man, I'd have dumped him long ago. I love that he tells me what he thinks even when it's the complete opposite of what I think. Then again, I love arguing for the sake of argument and looking at things from different points of veiw. I guess it really depends on whether or not your husband is way too emotional or not. Truthfully, you don't need to sit around worrying about these sorts of things. You know him best and you love him, so what you should do should come naturally.
2006-12-17 23:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You stand up for what is right. If your spouse is doing something that you don't agree with, I don't think you should support them on it. What if it was something that would hurt themselves or someone else in the long run? You wouldn't want to support that.
If you know the difference between right and wrong, and your spouse decides to choose wrong, don't go along with it. Whatever a person does whether good or bad, it has consequences to it.
2006-12-17 23:37:24 · answer #5 · answered by hanevkidz2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness this happened to me during the Summer.......
My Husband and my mom got in to an argument (my mom started it) and I stand by my husband totally. I gave my mom a piece of my mind, which I thought I was totally in the right for doing. It doesn't stop us from speaking today, because that is family and it is ok to agree to disagree.
My husband is who I live with and HAVE to see every day and sleep in the same bed with. So it is what it is and I will stand by him regardless and if he rants and raves about something that I do not like or do not agree with, I do not argue back, I just say, "yes dear, I understand your point" and leave it at that.
2006-12-17 23:36:58 · answer #6 · answered by Staci C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to answer this question without a specific case, but in general I think it is your place to treat people most respectfully and carefully. You can disagree, but you should not make your mother or your spouse look bad. If you feel especially convicted on the subject, you might take a stand, but always do so in a respectful, loving maner. And then put the issue to bed...do not dwell on it and harp on it and nag on it. That'll get you nowhere fast!
2006-12-17 23:34:58 · answer #7 · answered by twicewise 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't contradict your spouse in public - ever. You always want a united front. However, you should be able to tell your partner how you really feel in private. Tell him your side and how you feel about it, then tell him that you support his choice even though it is not the same one you would make. Then DROP IT and get on with your life.
2006-12-17 23:32:45 · answer #8 · answered by bashnick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In public, I defend my spouse to the end, even if she made a mistake.
Privately, we discuss the issue and we agree to correct the behavior. That applies to her and that applies to me...always.
Simple and to the point.
2006-12-18 00:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by Mav 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Support the disagreement. that you two have your own opinions and you both respect that out of one and another instead of arguing about it, talk about it and listen to each other and agree to disagree.
2006-12-17 23:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by ♥!BabyDoLL!♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to understand why your spouse feels a certain way. You don't or will not always have to agree...however, be considerate of their feelings and WHY they feel that way.
2006-12-17 23:32:17 · answer #11 · answered by zimmiesgrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋