My question is simple and so is my reasoning. My ex has repeatedly abused our children when he has had visitations. I now have a protection order in place against him that says he cannot see the kids. I have been offered a great job that includes a home and free medical care. I really want to take this oppurtunity to provide a better life for my children. And to give them a chance at a new beginning. There is no clause in my divorce saying that I cannot relocate all it says is that i must let the ex know and is not specific about the time period of when i have to let him know either before after or during. He is not even allowed to contact me nor am i him or it would violate the restraining order.
I cannot afford a long court battle or one really at all.
I am not sure what to do.
2006-12-17 15:12:03 · 18 answers · asked by Raven B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also must add that i fear for my saftey and my childrens because he is a loose cannon and his tried to kill me before and has recently threatened a school principal. I also fear him kidnapping the kids.
2006-12-17 15:22:46 · update #1
I have tried the court route, but i have bills to pay and cannot afford an attorney and have like a 6 month waiting list for legal aide by then the job would be gone and then ib still be hurting finacially,he can afford an attorney cause he lives with his mommy and dont have to pay no bills like the rest of us grown ups.
2006-12-17 15:29:41 · update #2
If you have complete sole custody of your kids and it states in your divorce paper that you are there legal guardian then by all means take the job out of state, and you do not have to contact him you can contact the court and they will give you specific information on how to let you ex know what state you are moving to, he does not need the physical address, you can give him a po box, but with the protection order more than likey they will not provide him with any information at all, I am in a very similar situation with my kids and I completely understand where you are coming from and I have complete legal custody of my kids and with the protection order in place I do not have to provide anything to him, other than what state I am moving to and the court over turned that for me. You do what you feel you need to do to FIRST PROTECT YOU AND THOSE BEAUTIFUL KIDS OF YOURS. If you move don't look back on all those bad times, remember you are beautiful and so is what you are tyring to do for those kids. They and you will be better for everything you are doing. Good luck to you. e-mail me if you would like to either email address and we can talk some more. Congratulations on the first step in getting the protection order on him, it is always hard to take things away from someone you love once in your life especially if you have kids involved.
2006-12-17 15:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by shaunda f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through almost exactly the same thing. I moved to another state.
Depending on the laws in your state, some require that you do give a two week notice in advance of a move, which would be required whether the move was across a state line or not. It is best to give this type of notice in writing by way of certified letter, so that if it is ever called into question you will have undeniable proof.
This is not because he would be allowed an objection to the move, because he would not. It is for the fact that he has the legal right to know the whereabouts of his children, and to have a place to send correspondence and child support, etc.
He cannot do anything to stop you from moving. The only thing he could do would be to take you back to court for custody, but since there is a restraining order protecting them from him then that is not a possibility.
However, the restraining order does complicate things. Since you are not allowed to contact him, then I would go through a third party to inform him of the move. Call your local women's shelter. They have people who can give legal advice on matters like this. Or call the division of the courthouse that issued the restraining order and ask the clerk how best to pass that information to him-you can probably pay for him to be served with a notice, usually between $25-$75.
2006-12-17 15:25:14 · answer #2 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you can get full custody UNLESS your ex can prove you are an unfit mother. And yes, the court can (and might, since weekend visits would be hard to do from 2000 miles) give him summer visitation. The court can (and usually does) do anything it wants. And yes, the custodial parent will get some sort of child support payments. How much depends on each of your earnings, how many kids, which state you are in, etc. If you make accusations, bring proof. And don't do anything stupid yourself to give him proof against you. Also know that if the divorce is not already filed in the state where you live, and he moves 2000 miles away, he can file there and you will have to go there for the hearings (which might be expensive and time consuming).
2016-05-23 03:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the right thing and contact an attorney even if you need to find one who will advise you for a small fee. Possibly contact a women's shelter for advice on how to find a low cost but good lawyer to help you.
I would suspect that you need to give him notice but you can do this through the legal system at little or no cost. However if you just take the kids and go you will be giving your ex ammunition against you and even possibly a legal reason to gain custody of the children.
Protect yourself by following the letter of the law, do it right and have a lawyer assist you in doing this the right way.
I do not know if you must give him a forwarding address since there is a protection order against him but a lawyer would. I suspect you would need to though as he is the childrens father.
Peace and good luck.
2006-12-17 15:22:08 · answer #4 · answered by Kdude 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your custody order says he has to be notified, then he has to be notified. Since there is a restraining order, you probably should have an attorney do that for you. I know you said you have no money, but you need to find some. I do realize that’s easier said than done, but the fee for this shouldn't be much. Your ex can take you to court and contest the move, but given the information that you’ve provided, it’s very unlikely that he’d be successful.
2006-12-17 17:52:03 · answer #5 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, you can go. His visitation has been restricted and you have full/legal custody of your children. You have the legal right to take them to China if you want to, really... The courts have severed all his ties with the children and you can do anything you want from that point on, you have legal custody over them, he has no say in matter anymore. The fact that you have a protection order is all the more reason you do not have to make him aware of your new address. The only reason he would ever need it, is to know where to send alimony/child support payments, and you can have that set up with the courts to have that taken directly out of his check and sent to u electronically, if he even does that. As long as your lawyer knows how to get in touch with you is really all that matters in your case. Take the job and start over. There is nothing he can do. Good luck and way to go..... Kudos for u!!!
2006-12-17 16:30:58 · answer #6 · answered by hothink5 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Believe it or not, you may have to notify him of the move, but not where you are moving to! You need to have someone closely review your divorce judgment. That may now be in conflict with the protection order. Either one of them can be modified to provide that you are allowed to relocate without having to give notice to him. You should contact legal aid in your area for a low cost referral. There may also be a domestic violence group in your area that can help you proceed in the safest most cost effective way.
Since he has no visitation rights he has no legal leg to stand on to prevent your move. You also have the kind of reasons courts like to see when they allow a move. The problem is, if you just up and move without getting all the necessary paperwork done - you could be in contempt of your divorce judgment. It sounds like your ex is the kind of guy who would get immense joy from bringing you back into court just to harass you with the contempt claim. So be careful, get some legal advice and proceed cautiously.
Good luck.
2006-12-17 15:32:24 · answer #7 · answered by CV 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact an attorney ask for advice. There might be a clause hidden that really ruin things for you. Or asked to speak to the judge, But I'm sure you can move without letting him know, my ex sister in law did it , nothing happened. Just get legal advice before you do anything else.
2006-12-17 15:21:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you can move, mabey soemone else could let him know just so in the future for any reason, you would have that area covered, he has no legal right to even see the kids, plus you have a realley good reason to go , it is in the best interest of the children for you to have a good job and be stable, take care and good luck.
2006-12-17 15:18:22 · answer #9 · answered by marie ld 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Aunt had the same problem. She lived in Colorado, and she left her X hubby and relocated to Illinois with her 2 daughters. The X hubby tried to stop her from relocating...however...the judge granted her wish due to the facts her family is from Illinois and that she has a good paying job/career back in Illinois waiting for her. So, I would say for you to check into your state law that you are in now...NOT the one you are moving too... Good Luck
2006-12-17 15:39:45 · answer #10 · answered by rupmsn2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋