I feel terrible and want to die?

Question

I am so scared of asking this question because I know what you all will say.

OK where to begin. I live in Australia, in the outback. I live hundreds and hundreds of miles from the nearest people. My dad has plane which he flies to get to the city.

But that's besides the point. OK I am bisexuaI but I don't have any friends because I live so far away.

Here's the bad bit.

My sister is also a lesbian. About a week ago me and her kissed each other (for real).

I don't know what to do about this. I think I have a crush on her and I am attracted to her. I hate it but I can't stop it!!! I am thinking of dying but I love everyone too much but I hate feeling this way coz I know it's wrong!!! What should I do! I feel like I am about to go crazy!

I am 18, my sister is 19.

I wish I could move away but I have no money, my dad is under pressure and has been seeing a psych because of the stress and I can't ask him again he has no money. I need something though some sort of like human contact or I will go crazy and out of my mind!

Answer 1

First, ignore people on here who have nothing better to do than make stupid comments, and don't let that get to you. There are some complete morons in this world (mental age of a 2 week-old sparrow) who should have had their tongues clipped as children to stop them making such foul comments. Just got to ignore them! :D

Second, despite noone ever being brave enough to talk about it, it's actually quite natural to have sexual feelings for one of your siblings. After all, your body is programmed to be attracted to bodies, and is not advanced enough to know the difference between a random person and a member of your family. Your body just sees another body and gets turned on by it, which is just unfortunate if it happens to belong to your sister, but you're certainly not the first person who ever felt like this so don't worry.

It's perfectly natural to have a lot of feelings, but it doesn't mean you should act on them. Just having feelings doesn't mean you should go along with them, otherwise we'd all be living in chaos and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted which is obviously wrong. We have to have some values and self-restraint.

At the same time, you shouldn't despair because you have done something that you know goes against what you brought up to believe. You can't have a sexual relationship with your sister, because she is your sister, and the love you have for her is a totally different kind of love. You can love each other and be very close, but in a different way. You are maybe going through a stage of intense questioning and confusion, so it's understandable to have these kind of experiences. It doesn't mean you should be proud of it or dwell on the idea too much, but it doesn't mean you should kill yourself either, even if the emotions might be overwhelming and make you feel like that right now. You have to ride them out and not think too heavily while they are there.

You can learn from it, and grow stronger. Life is too valuable to give up like that.

Maybe if you found a way to get out more you could meet people to start friendships. E.g. you could ask your dad to take you with him next time he goes to the city? Perhaps you should spend a bit of time away from your sister if the temptation is too strong at the moment. Try and think of other people you can meet, of a relationship you might find, to take your mind off your sister.

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Feeling at the edge of life like this is a lonely place to be; I know, because I've been there. You're not alone, and there are many people who have felt like you and recovered, even despite all the millions of arseholes out there. One word of love is more powerful than a hundred snide remarks or insults. When I hear people who have similar problems to the ones I have had, I feel for them. I don't know you, but I'm thinking of you. Be strong, try to have hope and think of a time when you'll be out of that lonely place, somewhere with good friends and a loving partner. This won't last forever, I promise you x

Answer 2

Well... First of all, your sisters and thats just not thought of.
I can understand why your attracted to each other since there is no one else around, but you have to remember your sisters not lovers. As for the kissing part, dont worry it happens alot with siblings. It happened with me and my sister and we did alot more than just kiss.

You dont have a crush on her. Your well... just horny sweetie and thats ok. Theres nothing wrong with feeling that way, its natural. Your 18 and your bodys needs are taking over thats all.

Iam sorry that your in a predicament where you really have no one to talk to but if you want you can email me anytime or im me anytime just to talk. Iam a New Yorker, I live in Syracuse. If you feel like you need to talk to someone I'll be your bud. But for now take it easy with the sis.

Your New Bud,
Malakye

Answer 3

You poor thing, you need to move. Its not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong. What happened with your sister only happened becoz you've both been kept away from other people. Of course you's wood turn to each other, you's had no one else. Your at that age to Chicky, you need interaction with people your age. Well you've obviously got the Internet, start looking up some jobs in the nearest city, and go to some real estate places and look for share accommodation, you'll be fine by your self. you really need to go, its your life and you need to decide what you want from it. and as for your sister you need to talk to her about what happened otherwise things will be really awkward. your not attracted to her your attracted to attention becoz you never get any. good luck, i hope everything works out for you. i hope you take my advice... :)

Answer 4

first of all you dont want to die you are at the start of your life iam at the end of mine and believe me when you get there your dont ever want that last breath to leave you so no more of that talk please.. ..living in australia i know how isolated the outback can be your feelings are running away with you.. with both of you , you have made the first step by coming on here use the internet to make friends.. i have.. you have had one offer of an ear already here is another we are just a click away..but please be careful who you do talk to as good as the internet is it can also be a danger for us who are vulnerable... you are stronger than you think and in the end will do the right thing maybe you and your sister need to have a good talk to sort things out .. good luck to you

Answer 5

The best thing I can think of to do is to call a crisis line or a suicide prevention line, who will probably have resources for lots of things. I looked up a few ideas that I put below. Good luck, and get some help.

Crisis Line, Information, Counselling :1.800.622.112

Suicide Prevention (Recording): 1300.360.980

Lifeline: 131 114 (cost of a local call)

Answer 6

Are you going to go to college? Get working on that. Maybe find out if you can go earlier than planned....

If not try moving in with a relative in the city. You can always say you want to get a job and experience the city if you need an excuse.

You have to get out into the real world with real people.


By the way, I really think he's thinking of himself rather than you two. He should know you need friends and a social life. It was his choice to live out in the middle of nowhere, not yours. He shouldn't expect you to want to live the same way he does.

Answer 7

You and your sister are going to have to leave there eventually. How do you intend to earn a living in the middle of nowhere? Are you both out of school? Go online and start looking into jobs and a place to live. What would happen to you if your father died? You should start thinking about your future NOW!

Answer 8

Dear Lucille,
This is a desperate position to be in. Try an e/mail search for suicide watch or try the uniting church. I believe they are good nonjudgmental people.
You have taken the first step in asking for help. I was in a similar situation in needing help but for a different reason. Should you wish to contact me, click on my avatar (picture by start of message)
and use the e/mail link.
You are stronger than you think.
Much live, Rose P.

Answer 9

Although I believe Ace was once slightly harsh, he does have a factor. If you rather love this man or woman, you can attend the funeral and simply say a few variety phrases or a exact exceptional that made him specific and exact from every body else. I imply, you needed to discover out from his sister, and within the militia, if you're his female friend, and he is aware of it, he'll have it written someplace in his dossier, that within the occasion of his demise, he'll request who he desires to inform you. Think approximately this. You can not do any variety of track, until the loved ones or anybody principally from the funeral residence or different concerned occasion asks you too. You don't seem to be loved ones, and his possess loved ones, will desire to devise and do that on there possess. I'm no longer judging you, however you ought to allow this cross. It is rather, rather, out of line to take it upon your self to do this. As some distance as inquiring for forgiveness, the one man or woman you'll ask now could be your self and God. And that's a individual method. Talk to his tombstone AFTER the funeral. Don't speak approximately anything like that at a person's funeral. What you probably did was once mistaken, and you'll embarrass his loved ones, your self, and shame his reminiscence by way of doing anything like that, and also you sound such as you ought to do it, and you assert you ought to, good darlin, you do not need the proper or should do it simply to transparent your judgment of right and wrong. Talk to him in individual, households ask persons to sing or the funeral houses to play a track. And stop being egocentric approximately this. This funeral is not for or approximately you. It is for him, his reminiscence and loved ones and peers. You rather ought to write in a magazine and don't forget this. Cheating on anybody you declare to like and be your boyfriend, is so egocentric and all approximately your demands. Learn a few humility and gain knowledge of out of your errors. If you suppose such as you desire to die, speak to a legitimate to manage your guilt problems. You do not get to make use of anybody's funeral to repair your problems. If you insist on going via with this, and leaping up there and making a song, regardless or his loved ones's desires, then sing Better Midler's " Wind underneath my wings ", and allow it cross....

Answer 10

I think the problem is that you are acting out on your feelings. Your sister is about your age, and you probably want a girlfriend, or want to see what its like. Since your not around any other people, you went to ur sister ...shes the closest thing. your experimenting, accept now guilt is now taking over....
my advice would be to wait until you move or something?