Caring guy in need ??

Question

I am a really caring guy and there is this girl I like, We are both sophmores and have known each other a long time and we both know we like each other. She is mostly "anti touch " she was when I met her and for alittle while after. but we have grown closer and i really like her, but I think she will not like to hold hands or hug, and I respect her so I don't. even though I am a more touchy kind of guy. and I mean with everybody I always love hugs any time from most anyone.SO WHAT SHOULD i DO TO GROW CLOSTER IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. and I want mature answers, and please do not mention sex I am saving that for marraige.

Answer 1

She sounds like I use to be. There really is not much you can do to change her. She probably is being raised in a home where affection is not the norm. (I was.) I have a memory of being really ill. I was probably about 8 years old. I remember my mom putting me in bed with her and she had her arm under my head. The memory I have still makes me feel ... well... ill. I waited for her to fall asleep and I got out of there. She did not show affection any other time... Not even with my dad. It made me feel dirty and uncomfortable. I've since learned to open up more and show affection. I hug and cuddle with my daughters daily. (sometimes I think we are a little abnormal :) ) Not really but it is most definitely different then the way I was raised. She might not have the extreme anxiety toward affection like I did but it's obviously there. The point I'm trying to make as that this is not going to be an easy endeavor. You really are going to have to be patient with her and not expect too much. It is not her fault nor is it a feeling she can overcome over night. I wish you much success in your relationship and may God bless the both of you!

Answer 2

Next time she's tense, give her a shoulder and neck massage, very GENTLY because most girls don't like a lot of pressure in massages. Just rub her neck and shoulders for a while, and if she likes it, make a habit of doing it whenever she is stressed out or upset. After a while, when you've done it many times and she's used to it and comfortable with it, maybe softly kiss her on the shoulder or the side of her neck while you're massaging. Do it just once and see how she reacts, and if the response is positive, do it again. ;)

If this much touching bothers her or makes her nervous, try just playing with her hair- this is something that almost everyone finds incredibly relaxing, I don't know why. Just sort of lightly run your fingers through it like a scalp massage. Or jokingly put your head on her lap or lean against her shoulder when you're tired.

I hope any of this will help. Good luck!