What are reasonable limits and expectations for a 15 year old boy?

Question

To elaborate, I have a 15 year old stepson that has recently come to live with his dad and me. He's constantly telling us we're out of touch with 'today's kids' and unreasonable. We have some pretty strong beliefs, but still open to input. Here are a few issues....

1. Should he have to tell us where/with whom he's going?
2. Is is unreasonable to expect him to have female visitors in the living room (NOT his bedroom)?
3. Curfews: 10pm on school nights/midnight on weekends...is that too early?

thanks!

Answer 1

You need to elaborate more. He needs to go to school, study, respects is elders,parents, girls, be home by curfew. Stay away from drugs and unprotected sex.

Answer 2

1. Should he have to tell us where/with whom he's going?
Yes. He should. Trust is an important value between parents and their children. You as a parent have the right to know where he is and with whom. Just, don't be so eager to judge if he does tell you. But it is perfectly reasonable to be aware of where your son is and who he's hanging out with. It's not like you're going to be there with him.

2. Is is unreasonable to expect him to have female visitors in the living room (NOT his bedroom)?
This is a private matter. This one, I feel, is more up to him. If it does get to the point where he has sex, just make sure he has protection. Better safe than sorry.

3. Curfews: 10pm on school nights/midnight on weekends...is that too early?
I think that's perfectly reasonable. I also recommend to allow a bit of overtime IF he tells you beforehand and you give him consent to stay out that long.

I think you have a good handle on what the reasonable limits are. You're not overprotective, but you do know where to draw the line. It's just that some kids have different lifestyles than others. Some are more social and some are more introverted. If your son has a problem with your conditions, he must be pretty popular. But that is no excuse to disrespect your rules. I do recommend, however, that you discuss these rules with him and if possible, try to reach a compromise. And if he wants more lenient terms, make sure he earns it first. For example, let him stay out a little longer if he's been getting good grades. That way, you'll know that he deserves the freedom you are giving him. Well, best wishes!

Answer 3

I think that is about what I had to do. Keep boys out of my room, be home by midnight on weekends, 11 on week days, and I always had to tell my mom where I was going & with who!

You don't want to push him away so he will start to sneak behind your back & lie to you... but you must have rules, and be firm with them. I think your rules are straight forward, simple, and very reasonable... you must be doing better then his mom was if he is struggling with 3 rules.

Good luck, he's only 15, but it's a very delicate stage, maybe you can have some incentives, like (if you clean your room I will let you stay out an extra hour on saturday night), but absolutely no girls in his room! You have to be glad he isn't gay (these days, you never know!!) but, you're having trouble with your son, imagine a grandkid... ? NOT YET!
Good luck!!

Answer 4

those a normal expectations. my advice is be a cool parent. make your home some place where he wont be embarised to invite friends over. have snacks and drinks in stock in case he brings frineds home. dont ask his friends any personal questins. dont nag him while his friends are around. show approval of his girlfriends. make sure he knows the rules before hand and if he breaks the rules wait till his frineds or girlfriend leave to confront him. let him pick out a track phone to buy for him if your not gogin to giver him a cell phone so that he can call you anc check in. and be honest with him. tell him about issues that you are gogin through but not anythign more mature then he can deal with. if your open with him and honest he will be more apt to be open and honest with you.

Answer 5

my son is 15 he comes home by 8pm week days 10pm weekends females do come to the house i don't mind that they are all bright females not full of candy floss
Teens will pull and pull every parents night mare is when they play up you just have to TRY and reason with them it is hard but has to be done because other wise they will run rings round you i do belive they should tell you who they have gone out with and were but most teens wont say
good luck
respect
shaz

Answer 6

That's up to you as the parent. My parents are very reasonable and discuss things with me, and we set the limits together, although they obviously hold the power. The most obvious are curfew, chores, grades, knowing where he is and who he's with, basically just keeping tabs on him and making sure he's safe and does his best at everything he does. Like I said, it's your job as a parent to define this more specifically.

Answer 7

females should be allowed in bed room and 1 a clock on weekends maybe 11 on school nights.

Answer 8

my boyfriens has theses things on the weekdays he has to be home b4 7:30 and on weekends b4 10:30 yea so its kewl~

Answer 9

get good grades, dont cause trouble, dont get girls pregnant(im serious), get home one time, get good grades, respect his elders, respect women in general, get good grades, not to come home drunk, take care of his stuff, dont make a mess, get good grades, did i mention "get good grades?"

im 16, get good grades and stay out of trouble so my mom is really lenient on the coming home late and going to parties. she basically knows im not going to do anything stupid like do drugs or get a girl prego, so shes pretty relaxed about most things.

Answer 10

in what area? Cleaning his room, taking care of his stuff, helping around the house and maintaining good grades are minimums and I MEAN minimums. No accountability for actions. . . no priviledges.