We have been separated for 9 mos so this is the first Christmas since. He found a girlfriend almost instantly. I am trying to decide if it is still my responsibility to buy him presents that are from the kids. Although we are attempting to be amicable and keep the best interest of the kids in the forefront I really do not want to spend money on him to be honest, but my conscious is telling me otherwise!!! I am not sure what to do! If I don't and he does I will feel like a heel and if I do and he doesn't...aaaahhh!
2006-12-17 12:57:36 · 22 answers · asked by chrysalis0817 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand you would not want to. And of course it is mostly to do with the pain this must be causing you. However, in the best interest of the children yes you should buy him gifts from the children. It would only be the right thing to do. Don't stoop to his level of ignorance and confuse them anymore than they must already be with a new girlfriend to deal with. That is enough for them to deal with. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-17 13:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off the only ones that will be hurt are the kids. No matter what you & him share that for eternity & that should be your first concern. Your kids dont see life the way you & him do,cause if they did that would mean they have had to grow up to quick in a world of today that is very cold & cruel. You shouldnt worry if he doesnt buy you one from your kids, cause the greatest gift you could ever have from your kids are not material things, it is those days that they smile & say "I LOVE YOU" when you feel like the world is against you. So I suggest take your kids shopping & let them get there Dad a Christmas gift. You are the grown up in this matter & always remember 2 wrongs dont make a rite....Merry Christmas & Good Luck
2006-12-17 13:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by sweetladynms31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lettng your hurt that he is now with another woman so soon cloud your judgement this isn't about you right now. this is about those kids and of course they will want there daddy to have something for xmas from them and they being to young to have jobs to buy you will have to kick in the money each year till they are old enough to have jobs and buy dad there own gift.
Doesn't have to be an elaborate or expensive gift. just so the kids feel good there getting something for dad. If the shoe was on the other foot and he had the kids you would want to be remembered by your children on xmas and birthdays. take yourself out of the equasion and think this is for the kids and how they feel
2006-12-17 17:07:49 · answer #3 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the children want to get their dad a gift then you should, no different then any other year. Now you might not have to get him a gift from YOU, but if normally it is your tradition that your children give their dad a gift and you buy it, then this year should not be any different. Put your personal feelings aside and think about what it would be like for your children in this situation. This is going to be the first Christmas without their father.
2006-12-17 13:03:24 · answer #4 · answered by Quest4questions 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The kids will have hurt feelings if dad doesn't have anything to open from them. They need to get him something and since I am assuming they can't go out shopping themselves, then yeah, you need to pay for something for them. Tell them each they can spend $20 or say $50-60 for a "together" gift from all of them. Who cares if you don't get anything from him from the kids. The point is you helped the kids. That is teaching them values and moral. It will be good for you in the long run.
2006-12-17 13:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not.
When you and your husband were a team, having the kids get gifts for each of you was part of that teamwork. Now that he has someone else in his life, it is up to her to make that work. When my kids were little, it was my job to help the kids pick out gifts that we knew daddy liked. It was part of our relationship's pact, you could say. Once I left my ex, I definitely did not do the gift thing - that was for the new person in his life to do. Of course at that time, my kids were teens and could very well buy the gifts without my suggestions. It was up to the girlfriend to help encourage that in the kids. Once the contract is done, so is your responsibility to HIM.
2006-12-17 13:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by terryoulboub 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it really all depends on the kids. If they are asking what they can get for their father, then you are sort of stuck. However, if you end up buying something for him and he doesn't buy for you then you can still have the satisfaction of being the bigger person. I would also let the kids pick out what you buy. I am in the same situation. I allowed my son to pick what he wanted for his father, and he picked a deck of cards on his own. You can't beat that - LOL Good luck and I hope you have a Merry Christmas.
2006-12-17 13:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by Shel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
[1] If you can afford to go to college, you're not "falling into poverty". [2] It sounds like her money is in trust, and not actually available to her. [3] In my lifetime, I've had times when I earned so much money that I literally didn't know what to do with it. I was saving well over 80% of my earnings. At other times, I've gone into serious debt (well over $100,000), and had a lot of trouble paying my bills. I currently live off a small survivor's benefit (my wife died a few years ago)--under $1,000/month. In the end it's only money, and if this screws up your relationship, then your priorities are wrong.
2016-05-23 03:15:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key is to try and be civil. Be the bigger person. Pay for the gifts, mark them from the kids and watch your children respect you more just for not being petty. Even though feelings are involved, the bottom line is the happiness of those kids. Suck it up and your turn will come!!
2006-12-17 13:18:40 · answer #9 · answered by goodgrleason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the children don't have money of their own ; then it would behoove you to help them financially accomplish this. He was wrong for what he has done. However, he is and always will be their father and they love him. You will hurt them by not letting them give him gifts. You both are the most important people in their lives. They have been taught that Christmas is about giving. How can it be justified not giving to their own dad?
2006-12-17 14:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋