I am married to a man whose ex is a psycho as is his now adult daughter. I didnt break up their family-they were teenagers who "accidentally" got pregnant. From then on the ex latched on to his family like a taz and scared off any girlfriends he had. She calls his mom "mom" and went so far as to name two children she had with her husband after my husband's brothers (CREEPY) needless to say, that marriage did not last. Anyhoo- now the daughter had a daughter she wants her parents together, although we have been married 20+ years. Now the daughter demands that her daughter and hers Xmas gift be bought from Macy's or Nordstrom, has a gift receipt included,is wrapped at the store and her father delivers it on Xmas eve and spends time with her, the ex and grandaughter as a family saying my hubby owes it to her. She only calls him occ. and asks for large sums of cash never less than $700 all with emotional blackmail. Now it's that her daughter deserves her grandparents together. How 2 handle
2006-12-17 12:40:39 · 11 answers · asked by mattysmom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
first of all who are these people and where did they come from. this is not a blended family. she got pregnant so he would marry her, and it didn't happen. and you have been harassed for twenty years and have not choked this woman? i applaud you for your strength.buy the baby something nice and wrap it yourselves. as far as spending christmas eve as a family,that's when the blended family comes in. your husband, you, her mother and the daughter will spend this joyous time together getting to know and bonding with the new baby.that means that all the grandparents are there. also if your husband is giving the daughter the money she demands, then he is going to have to stop. she is an adult now with a child. and she has to start being one. from the sound of it, she never had a meanigful job before. tell him for me to get over it. all of that hostility came from her mother browbeating him in front of her(you know what i mean). she is manipulative and is going to continue this hateful path.tell him he has done all he could and no matter what it will never be enough. there is no reason for him to continue to feel guilt for not being there. he was there everystep of the way, and he will be blessed for that.it is time to nip this in the bud. help her to become stronger and independent. because if he doesn't she will do this to the baby's father and the cycle with her daughter will continue. sometimes we really have to let go to get them started, and tell him to do it with love. tell him don't ever feel guilty because he has done the best he could and sometimes it is not evevn appreciated but again he and you will be blessed.as far as the ex goes smile at her every chance you can, kill her with kindness. i will pray for you two because you both really need it. god bless and merry christmas.
2006-12-17 13:37:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You really need to confront your husband and tell him how you are feeling. It sounds like he needs to give his daughter a reality check. He needs to set up some ground rules. Let her know that he will not see his ex anymore (unless it is with you). He also needs to make it clear that there will never be a him and his ex ever again. She needs to learn to respect you. Lastly she needs to take what ever gift you give her and be grateful. If she doesn't like it then she can take it back later. She really sound like she needs to grow up.It may cost him seeing his granddaughter for a while but it won't last. When she finally does come back around it will be for the better. Any sane person could not handle this, and your husband needs to support YOU.
2006-12-17 13:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by Shel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully your husband is too smart to fall into this. That is rediculous and should not be made to happen. If ya'll (both of you) feel the deserve a gift (a gift is something freely giving to ones you care about) then you get what is in your price range that you feel is appropriate. If she doesn't like, then it's her problem not yours, you have done your part. Move on, you don't need her.
2006-12-17 12:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by dana j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to stop giving in to her demands. It's unrealistic to continue to "make him pay" because he "owes it to her". She's an adult and a spoiled one at that. You should tell the daughter that her child is lucky to have 3 grandmothers and if she's really lucky she'll get to have 3 grandfathers too.
2006-12-17 12:45:57 · answer #4 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd go to Macy's or Nordstrom's and buy the cheapest tackiest thing I could find. Wrap it in ugly paper, and shred the receipt.
2006-12-17 13:00:43 · answer #5 · answered by catwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to stand up to his daughter. She, her mother and father are not a family and have not been for some time. Father needs to stand up to daughter and tell her such behavior is not going to be tolerated any more. Do not give her cash any more. Buy her presents whereever you want, not her. If she does not appreciate it, that is her perogative.
2006-12-17 12:47:53 · answer #6 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say you buy her a present at wal mart just to make her made...who is she to tell you how to spend your money on a present sounds pretty ungreatful if you ask me...as far as the other things blended families are the norm now days the baby still has two grand parents that love her what does it matter if they are together....
2006-12-17 12:47:50 · answer #7 · answered by Travis S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man!!!!!!!!!!! I got lost after about the fourth sentence.Way over my head.Hope it works out for ya.
2006-12-17 13:07:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man that sucks but seriously what can you do? There's nothing you can do to change how THEY act. Just deal with it.
2006-12-17 12:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her " Sorry, she mistook you for someone who gives a s@it"
2006-12-17 12:48:15 · answer #10 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋