There's this guys that I like. He and I have been friends for about 7 years. Last summer he told me he was leaving his wife. He seemed interested in dating me. I told him I was interested. However, I waited until his divorce was final, this past Feb. Now he's become all wishy washy on me. One minute he's talking about sex and being interested. The next he's avoiding it. It makes things so uncomfortable for the both of us. I can deal with a friendship, with benefits. So that's not a problem. If I leave him alone for a length if time he then starts all over again. Sometimes he claims not to want to ruin our friendship. And that he respects me too much. Then he's back to talking all naughty with me. The he'e back to making all sorts of excuses. I'm lost and confused. I have tried to talk to him about this, but he tries hard to avoid it most of the time. He did admit to me last week that he's too flip floppy. So, what do any of you think is his problem?
2006-12-17 12:16:20 · 7 answers · asked by Jimmy J 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
it's not a him problem... he's just not that into you.. and i don't mean to say that in a bad way to hurt your feelings... it's being honest. if he were so totally into you like his words say then he wouldn't be afriad to ruin a friendship.. if he was that into you he would be with you... not wish washy... go pick up the book "He's just not that into you" it makes you realize a lot of things and not just about relationships with a boyfriend/girlfriend but even you can apply this to friendships... it'll show you that sometimes words are just words and they have no weight to them if nothing is ever done... it's a good book to read! you have to decide if you are willing to wait for when he gets his feet anchored down and not so wishy washy... it could be next week but it's been almost a year already that you've played this game... do you really wanna continue it on, are you willing to wait... if you are... then pop some popcorn and grab a movie it's gonna be a while...if you don't want to wait then you know what you need to do... P.s. he may have some extra baggage to deal with when he left his wife... he may look and seem strong on the outside but you never know the inside cause right know his words are just words... no actions.
2006-12-17 12:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by heartbreaker6713 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN. Cut this guy loose as he obviously doesn't feel as strongly about you as you feel about him.
Even him admitting that he's flip floppy is part of the mind game he's playing with you.
And what's with you waiting around for him while he gets a divorce, that would scare me too. It makes you seem desperate to trap him before some other girl does.
Haven't you had any better offers?
2006-12-17 12:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by Soundjata 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just sounds as though he is not ready for a commitment right at this time. If I were you, I would go out with others if you have the opportunity, you will know if he is really serious about you as time goes on. Don't push him too hard, and he will come to you when the time is right, if he doesn't, it wasn't meant to be.
2006-12-17 12:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by autumn wolf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going through a divorce can also feel like being a failure. Perhaps he needs more time. If he continues to be a problem theres always the option of " cathing the next bus ".
2006-12-17 12:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by thms_sandstrom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you need to drop him altolgether or know that it will never be anything more than a friendship with this guy. He seems to be using you as a way to build his confidence. He knows you like him and knows that when he talks junk you will reply accordingly so when he's feeling down and out about whatever it is his relationship with his wife etc... he runs to you to stroke his hurting ego.
2006-12-17 12:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by babeejazzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just not that into you.
And you sound like the wishy washy one...make a decision.
Accept him for the way he is or move on.
2006-12-17 20:00:38 · answer #6 · answered by rynay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has some issues. Ask him.
2006-12-17 12:25:08 · answer #7 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋