my wife of 11yrs is having an EMOTIONAL & SEXXXUAL affair with her co-worker from work. what should I do?

Answer 1

I think you need to decide whether you want to stay with her or not.

Answer 2

I would think the emotional affair is canceling out the sexual affair, it's the real thing.
You can have a talk with her and see what her major problems are. Your not the one from the other questioner are you about the Emotional affair? it's printed the same, I'm sorry if your a different one it's just that it's the same , by coincidence perhaps and I'm, sorry for the assumption.
I'm sorry for you, really. You can try and talk to her, see whats wrong. Don't get violent or start screaming. I did this many years ago with my spouse and made matters worse, I did make friends with some fine Deputy sheriffs.
I beat the crap out of the guy, he offered me his wife, would that beat all, in front of my wife, she walked over and smacked him. Anyway, we worked it out. I realized I was working seven sixteens. Trying to get the cash to get our home and, she just got tired of sitting around. It was one of one, two of the other.

Maybe by talking you can see something you've missed before. Maybe she can see something she should have thought of before. Use have been married eleven years for something, don't give that up now, not for this. There must be kids now. Think about it.

Answer 3

What do you want to see happen? Do you still love her and want to stay in the marriage? Are you too hurt and upset to ever forgive her for her behavior? How long has the affair been going on? Take a few deep breathes, step back and honestly ask and answer these questions. If you only recently found out about her affair and haven't confronted or confirmed whats been going on, you should do so only after you've determined in your own mind what you'd like the outcome to be. If she seems remorseful, apologetic, and is ready to end the affair, then you two should talk.

Answer 4

Walk unless you can talk to her and tell her to end it or its over and she agrees then maybe just hang in there and work it out.
But at anytime if she has already done this to you before then I do feel you have the right to get out because she surely is not holding up her end of the vows she spoke on the day you were married. You need to talk to her that you are fed up with the way she is treating you and your marriage and that she has to stop this affair now and if that means her finding a new job thern so be it. Then of course for your manly hood maybe give a nice right hook to this womanizer she has been fooling around with dont beat the crap out of him but a good punch he will realize he deserved it and any more then that he may press charges watch your back and good luck on whatever you decide to do.

Answer 5

Pack up and move along.If you know this for sure and she is in that deep it's going to be almost impossible to change her mind.The best thing for you to do is concentrate on you and your kids if there are any.Talk to someone like a friend,councilor,preacher or a therapist so you deal with some of the crap that is coming your way in the months to come.Life is about to become very emotional for awhile and you are going to need a friend to help deal with it.Take up a few hobbies that will keep you busy and your mind off of everything.Change some of your usual habits and start going different places so there won't be constant reminders of the past.Make some new friends and maybe try going out to some of there hang outs.

Answer 6

First if your wife of 11 years was only having a " Sexual Affair " I would say you have a tiny problem but you fix it...but she also is having a emotional affair so you are **** out of luck and should file for divorce...she loves this co-worker and is having sexual relations so what is left for you??

Answer 7

Same happened to me at 13 years. You need to get into counseling. The counselor will suggest that she stop the affair and be with only you. However your wife has him emotional it will probably end like mine in divorce. Keep track of as much evidence of the affair as possible, this will help you in court.

Answer 8

Tell her that your not staying if it continues, that your worth more than that. Ask if she wants to save the marriage and both of you do something about it.

Would she care if you did the same? Why sit sad on the sidelines if she doesn't want to end the affair. Life is too short. I'd rather be alone than with someone who is with someone else

Answer 9

To divorce her or not is up to you. If she really regret for what she had done and the most important things that if you could forgive her and still love her, then both of you need to go for marriage counselling. I know the feeling of being cheated and no one can truly accept it. Its takes time to forget the whole incident. And its also not easy to trust this person again. For what I experience its easier and happier to leave this type of person than trying very hard to forgive and forget what she had done to you.

Answer 10

If somebody cheats on you for the first time, it's their fault. If somebody cheats on you for the second time, it's your fault.

Forviging a cheater can only be a positive reinforcement. All you teach to that person is "No matter what he/she does, you'll forgive, and he/she can get away with murder" It will happen again for sure. %100.

Let go. Divorce. And try to find your own peace of mind.

Answer 11

You need to think about how much you two love each other and seek counseling right away before it goes too far. If she hasn't yet cheated on you, she probably will so get some help as soon as possible because if you two decide to wait and see if her feelings go away things will just get worse.