extortion...?

Question

My husband had an affair with a girl at work (they work at an educational setting). They lived together for a short time when we were separated and he came back to me. He gave her back the deposit on the house they rented even though he put thousands of $$ into it. Now the girl is telling him that he has until Jan. 31 to quit his job or she will report him to Dean of students etc.

I know what my husband did is wrong and I am not defending him in any way at all. I am staying with him so thats not what I'm asking about.

They did things on campus that were not appropriate. She is studying to be a teacher. This is very stressful. We will be seeing a lawyer but have you any experience with this? Yes, he could lose his job and are preparing for that possibilty.

She's been calling since Sept. to tell him ths.

He wants to go to the dean and let them know that someone is threatening his job and take whatever punishment is handed down. I support whatever he chooses, but its really unsettling

She a student, an employee/workstudy?

The job strongly discourages workplace relationships "because they are fraught with potential for exploitation"

Hubby has thought about contacting her family to let them know that she is threatening and is risking her own livelihood as well. Actually she's been told this by another employee.

Hubby is a computer programmer.. can find work elsewhere.. but prefers to stay where he is if possible. Doesn't want to be run out by her (understandably).

Answer 1

Why is she putting a timeline on telling his superiors? I would go to my boss if I were him, and explain the problem with as few details as possible without looking like I was hiding something. Then I would call her employer and explain she is making threatening suggestions and "very politely" suggest that her boss should be extremely cautious when it comes to the kind of people he hires! This girl is not the worth the time it takes to make her threatening phone calls. Maybe she will get fired. Also, when she calls next time, you, the wife, take the call and tell her everything has been taken care of on your end and she had better watch hers!!

Answer 2

I don't have any experience in this, but bad news always come best from the source. It's better your husband tell the dean himself. That way it removes the wind from her sails. I can't see how this could get ur husband fired, but this is the fruit of carrying on w/ people at work. Has anyone tried to appeal to this vixen? Try paying her off, it's a ;ittle unorthadox, but if the job is worth it in the end, the loss of some cash now could be better for the future. How can she tell on ur husband and not get fired herself? Is she a student, or an employee? Sorry this has happened to you, it is very big and brave of you to accept him back, all too often in life things happen out of our control, but another reality is when you dance, you pay the fiddler. If the job has non-fraternizing policies, then her whislteblowing is not illegal. Maybe through some creative thinking you can find a way to help her realize attempting to ruin your lives will acomplish nothing. Get a restraining order against her if all fails, don't let her do anymore damage, put it out of ur mind and move on. There are many educational jobs out there, hopefully ur husband can get another one quickly if the bottom falls out. Good luck.