I am 19 and my husband is 11 years older than me. When we were dating, everything was great, but later I found out that he had 4 very young kids. He and his girlfriend broke up after 9 years together. He told me that he didn't tell me because he was afraid I would not accept it. If I knew everything from the very beginning, I would not tie my life with a man who has 4 small kids. And now, the only reason we fight is because of his children and his ex-girlfriend. I do not like her calling him when were are together. If it is something about kids, I do not mind, but most of time she calls because of her personal problems: like her lisence got suspended or she is not feeling good and stuff like that. Sometimes she calls too early or late when we are still in bed. I told him that she should stop doing it, and she said she doesn't care what I think. She was in mental hospital before.I feel like my husband sunconciously is still with that woman, and I think I am gonna file for divorce.
2006-12-17 11:30:40 · 17 answers · asked by All I want is to be LOVED! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And you are only 19!!!! yeah get a divorce. chalk it all up to experience. You have a life time ahead of you so go and get on with it.
2006-12-17 11:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by veerfish 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
First of all, divorce is not the first answer to your problem. You 2 (or the 3 of you) need to see a counselor. You need to talk to your husband seriously about this problem. You also need to tell the ex that she is becoming a problem. If you can't fix the problem, than you need to think about divorce. But you know, 19 is still pretty young. I think you need to give yourself a little time. Go to your parent's house or to an old friends house. Take a small vacation for yourself only and limite your calls home. Anything is better than divorcing the person you love and told that you would be with "until death do us part".
2006-12-17 11:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by XxXTaRaXxX 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Here's your first clue Darling, he says she doesn't care what you think, well obviously he doesn't either or he would do something about it. And there are still more ties between them than just the kids. As far as lying about 4 small children, it tells me he's a rotten low down good for nothing to even hide or deny the fact that he's a father.
What happens when you have children together and he lies and denys them to the next young chickadee that comes along.
Run Honey, Run while you can before it's to late. Get to the lawyers office A.S.A.P.
2006-12-17 11:53:08 · answer #3 · answered by luv to observe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you are a bit too young (when I was 19 I dated a man who was around that age since I thought he was serious about me, but anyway) but you should take into consideration that he truly led you on and wasn't honest with you. You're young and you still got a lot of opportunities, if this marriage doesn't work out it doesn't mean that you won't have a relationship that never will. I don't think leaving would be a bad idea.
2006-12-17 11:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by purringout 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He should not have been dishonest with you, having four children is a big thing to hide. And as far as his x, she is the mother of his children so as long as those children are growing she has the right to call their father. That is something that you are either going to have to deal with or get a divorce. This is going to be a big issue for you as long as you are married to this man. And yes of course she ended up in a mental hospital, so would you if you were with a man for 9 years and four children and he married someone else. Get over yourself, your anger should not be toward her or the children. But toward him for not being honest. He was probably with her when he began dating you. So either deal with it and shut up or divorce him. The children are innocent in this situation it is their father who is the monster. God bless****
2006-12-17 11:40:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How in the world did he mange to keep 4 children a secret from you before marriage? Unless he sets his ex straight, she's always going to be a problem. I'd get tired of that too, someone calling my house like that.
2006-12-17 11:41:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, You married a man that has 4 children and you didn't know about it? How long did you all date? What else is he lying about? I tell ya' if you stay with this man, you will probably continue to have a drama filled life and marriage. Good Luck.
2006-12-17 11:35:24 · answer #7 · answered by Who me? 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you're a child yourself in comparison to being married to a man 11 years your senior.
You're aging yourself by being with a man with soooo much excess baggage.
You sound like a very strong minded woman. Perhaps you need to dissolve this marriage before it dissolves you!
I truly mean it when I say good luck to you and God Bless you in your decision.
2006-12-17 11:37:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Divorce, he wasn't honest in the beginning and will not be.
Sorry you got caught up in the web or lies and drama. The signs were there, time to move on, love yourself and live for you for a change, DRAMA FREE.
2006-12-17 11:35:25 · answer #9 · answered by Khandi 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
honey...all I can say is that it will only get worse...the demands from her will get greater...the demands for and from the kids will get greater...the financial commitment will get bigger.....his time spend away from you will grow...his kids will ALWAYS come first...no matter what....you will never be a total partner in this situation...my advice to you is to get out while you still can...you are too young to saddle yourself with so so so much baggage...I am sorry that you are going through this...been there, done that and I have the damn tee shirt...good luck
2006-12-17 11:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋