He and I have dated 3 years and lived together for 2 years. We had 1 break up in that time. We are scheduled to be married in 5months. He says I'm not as affectionate as I once was. HUH? I'm confused. Where did that come from? We do almost everything together. I thought we spend enough time together. I thought the affection levels in place were relatively perfect. We have a great sex life. I cook, clean, go to school, and work. I'm not perfect but what is the deal. What is this affection? I do those things too (touches, kisses and hugs). He says everything is great he just wishes I'd be as affectionate as I once were. Please tell me what he is talking about maybe I am overlooking something.
2006-12-17 11:17:31 · 8 answers · asked by ...huh... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Someone said that if I asked him what was different that he wouldn't be able to answer it. You are right he can't. And I'm not a jealous person. I can't get mad because some chick smiles at him. I take that as a compliment beause I know he's coming home to me. Why get bent out of shape?
2006-12-17 11:49:34 · update #1
If you're getting married in 5 months, men get pre marital jitters too. That might be all this is. It could be the strain of the wedding preps is taking a toll on both of you. BUT...
In your question you stated a lot of things you physically did together.(sex life,touch, kiss, hug,etc.) but what about your emotional connection? Do you talk? I mean intimately talk about your lives together?Your love for one another? You sound like you have a lot on your plates right now,(school, work, pending marriage). Perhaps the level of emotional intimacy is falling because of all the stuff that's going on in your lives. He may need this emotional reassurance from you that everythings OK, and the love is only getting stronger. Spend some time just in each others arms, and talk about just the two of you. Go away for a while if you need to to accomplish this. You will find that your marital union must stay front and center, and be the rock the rest of your lives is founded upon.
And c'mon "grumpy1"? Doesn't that give you a clue?
2006-12-17 12:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time changes us all. We grow older and dont always do the same things as when we were younger for whatever reason. He must realize he has changed too and we cant make the past reappear anytime we like. Ask him to explain what he means by that and chances are he wont remember either. Maybe the bedroom scene lasted longer or happened in unusual places or whatever he thinks happened then. Good luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-17 19:31:00 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG My husband said the same before we were married and continued so even when we had kids. I told him to get over it. I can't give you my undivided attention 24/7 (which was what he wanted.) He was just really insecure which made him very needy of my affections. Now that he's more secure with me, he doesn't drone on and on about how I always have things to do and not enough time for him
2006-12-17 19:27:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Affectionate? i dont know but i think you might want to make him feel special by being possesive. when early stages of relationships are full of jealousy u feel jealous when some girl looks at your man or your men looks at other girls in strange way. just make him feel special that he is the most imp person in your life and he cant be with anyone else think about anyone else BUT ONLY YOU and no one else can love him more than you can. hugs kisss is normal that doesnt tell much about affection. make him feel that your world revolves around him ONLY!!! be jealous even if he says some other girl looks hot cute ect...
I tried answering...GOOD LUCK
2006-12-17 19:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by Rutul 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do you like surprises?
well try something that you mould like, i mean, if he comes to work before you do-grab you lipstick and write on the bath room mirror something "imaginative"- get the idea? or wait for him in bed....there are many ways to find a secret spot of interaction. but it's best to ask directly what is "missing".
Try to take advantage of your pillow talk, remember when you get closer to the deadline of your wedding day, the presure will be more and more heavy on both of you -everybody to you and eachother- and friction can become dangerous.
best of luck
2006-12-17 19:30:47 · answer #5 · answered by Kex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be creative. It's hard to keep relationships powerful and fun as time passes. Do something out-of-the-ordinary to show him the relationship is still alive. ;)
2006-12-17 19:21:38 · answer #6 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
compare his affection level to yours and one day for a whole day in your mind keep tract of what you do and what he does and later write it down to see what appears. sometime people get a lil delusonal, not you, him
2006-12-17 19:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with him and find out exactly what he means.
2006-12-17 19:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by Jason 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋