Why do people become self centered?

Question

I am not a psychologist, but this is what i feel. People tend to become more self centered in times of hardships or under stress. It is a normal reaction to care about yourself more than others when you feel threatened by another individual or society. Over time if they are not aware of their behaviour, they may resort to their self centered ways for a long time and hence becoming a self centered individual

Answer 1

People are taught to be self centred when their parents or guardians or relatives give them everything and anything they whine long enough for. Everything has to be instant gratification, emotional intelligence and kindness and dignity are not taught or not respected in society. It's all about me me me and to heck with what you want.

Media extolls bridezillas, women behaving like brats, supermodels and actors and actresses get away with rude behaviour because of their fame. Presidents and PMs can lie and still be elected over and over again and not be held to account.
Militants can kill people all over the world and dance in the streets because we killed the infidels and each other.

Society teaches people to be self centred, didn't used to be like that , started in the 80s and 90s and onward. Parents giving their kids everything they want rather than their time and attention. Not teaching them manners and civility." Someone's not nice to you darling we'll sue them so you won't have to feel bad and low self-esteem" , except that that isn't what low self -esteem is about.

It's going to be a long time til we get back to actually teaching our fellow human beings to be nice and kind and actually care about one another, not just the ones who agree with our pov.

Answer 2

It's good that you're observant and think about what you observe.
People are born self-centered; it's part of human nature. Through experience we can become more so or learn to have concern and consideration for others. I think you're right about stress and feeling threatened (which is what stress is, basically), but I would call it self-protective, rather than self-centered. And, yes, too much of this over time can lead to the habit of behaving in a self-protective way. The sad thing is that with such habits a person can rule out opportunities. Self protection can become a prison.

Answer 3

being self centered is all about watching your own back , Have you ever heard the saying , You were , and are a good person if you helped the less fortunate in need .
That used to be a good thing , that you would be a person that would go out of the way to help another person in need , , Well that used to be .
Now Day's , Stick you neck out , to help those of real need ,
And get Backstabbed by the very one's you tried to help .

Answer 4

What you describe happens, no doubt.

But remember, everyone starts out self-centered -- what's more self-centered than an infant, after all.

Most people grow out of it, but a lot of people don't.

And some people grow out of it then shrink back, often from being hurt in some way.

If you're really interested in things like this, why not read up on psychology? It's a fascinating field and there are a lot of books written for the intelligent layman -- very readable and informative.

Answer 5

It is called the 'survival instinct'. People enter the world totally self-centered (observe a baby or small child). In time, they are taught to be considerate of others. But most people only share or give to others if they have enough for themselves first.
Times of extreme hardship separate the ordinary from the extraordinary. That's why acts of unselfishness or self-sacrifice are so noteworthy-- the hero is venerated. People are declared 'saints'.
It should be the goal of each of us to move more and more toward the goal of unselfish behavior--- because oddly enough, the only truly happy people are those who are not absorbed in seeking happiness for themselves. That which you give away, you get.

Answer 6

Everyone is self-centered. Even when we are doing something out of the good of our hearts to help another individual, we still feel self-gratification. Get the picture?

Answer 7

I think people are afraid to open up to others. They don't want to get hurt or disappointed if someone takes advantage of their kindness. So it feels safer to a person to isolate themselves from other people because it's less drama.

Answer 8

Because they've had a jacked up childhood.