Do you ever think you made a mistake by letting one get away?

Question

I got out of a 6 year relationship with a girl that was perfect for me. The first 5 years were amazing. The last year became difficult because of various reasons including the start of graduate school and distance issues. We both fell into ruts and were so used to the relationship that things deteriorated from there. Things ended well about 3 months ago. I dont call her, but she still calls me at least once a week and we've hung out maybe 4 times. Although, only one of those times didn't end up in tears. I've made it clear I want to get back with her, but she wants to 'take things slow' with me to get over our issues. Anyways, she was my first really serious relationship and I know there is something to be said about seeing what else is out there. However, I have this big fear that I will check out what is out there for the next however many years and realize that she was the best one and have it be too late for whatever reason. Anyone older than I (26) come to this conclusion?

Answer 1

I can tell you from experience working with people all over the world, that there is hardly a guy or gal that wishes they had the one that got away. Im 52 and realize that I let the perfect one get away even though Ive been happily married 27 yrs now with kids and grandkids, but can help myself thinking from time to time about the girl I should have married but didnt and wonder what if. Many people admit this to me but most really wouldnt change the way things are currently. This may be the main reason why people cant see the future. But if you dont have at least 2 girlfriends then youll never know if one was the one that got away. Good luck and Merry Christmas

Answer 2

Its very hard to make a decision based on "What if's...."

I am also 26. I married my highschool sweetheart at 21, and now I am divorced. My marriage fell apart for various reasons, and I moved on thinking there was more out there. It is only now that I have begun to see that maybe I should have fought harder for what I already had. So far he was the best I had. But on the other hand........I am only 26, and there is alot of life left and alot of people to meet.

I think you should stay in touch, and do take things slow. If you are not in a serious relationship together then keep your options open. Don't rush back into it with this girl, she just might be having the same thoughts as you. Why don't you try talking to her about this and see what she thinks

Answer 3

Yes, you will probably regret losing her because no matter who you meet later in life, there is no such thing as a perfect person and perfect relationship. Yes, there is a lot of fish in the sea, but ever thought how much alike it tastes? What matters is time and the effort you have put in a good relationship, this will never come to you easily.You have been with this girl for 5 years, so you have to think it will take you another five years to get to know someone as well as your girl. Also first come, first served, there is nothing like your first- u just never forget him/her. We miss the ones we have loved. I ran across this anthropology theory once which claimed that you have limited emotional capacity- you have love for only 1 mother, for 3 friends, for 1 homeland and 1 lover. That's it, don't know if it's true or not but it will make you think about things and learn to cherish them as there will be no other like them. Ever again :) Hope that have helped. I believe commitment is what makes relationships work. And persisistence. At the end you will just lie back happily and think over all the things you have overcome and you ll be proud of your self.

Answer 4

I have only had two serious relationships one being the first, I let go of after several attempts and banging my head against a brick wall.... NO regrets there.... And the second I married........ As for anything else, I usually keep trying in a relentless pursuit until I know it is just D O N E ! That way, I personally have no regrets! It takes a lot of stamina to own up to all that goes into a relationship but I crave love, and all the wildness that comes with it!
Don't give UP! Sorry I was not more help, I am on the other side of the fence here but follow your inner voice that speaks to you from your heart......

Answer 5

I let mine get away 13 years ago. I still love that man to this day. I still talk to his parents. We still talk to eachother and we still love eachother. The problem is that for the 6 years that we lost touch our lives changed and we were jaded by the societies that we lived in. Never again can we get back that inocence of our past before we lost touch. That was when we fell in love and it was pure and true. We cannot ever get that back again and now resigned ourselves as close friend. No matter how much we truly love one another. The things we did when we were apart will always be in our minds and even though forgiven, never forgotten. So I say hold on if you believe she is the one and this is the one you want to spend eternity with. She too also has to want to be with you but dont give up on her.

Answer 6

I don't think there is anyone of legal age on the planet who doesn't reminisce about the "one that got away". It's such a common fantasy because the past and the future are so much more romantic than the dreadful present. Trust me, you will find someone else that makes you feel like this because it's not the woman, its the feeling that you want and you are afraid that you won't have it again. You will. If you think this woman is someone that you want to commit yourself to and work through any issues, than go for it. If not, date a little and see what else is out there. You'll learn more about women and more about yourself.

Answer 7

wayyy back i was w/a young man for 3 years. all thru high school. we made it thru his first year away at college. in the beginning of his second year, things got in the way and yes, even a million years later, and many many b/fs later and even a marriage and children and then divorce later, nobody has come close to his wonderful, caring ways. then again, who knows what life would have done to him. he was still young and idealistic like me back then. he married, his wife cheated on him for a bit, they stayed together and worked it out and had a couple children. as far as i know, they are still together. he did call on me to talk about it when she cheated. we talked that once. then i ran into his parents a few years later and they told me he had children and they proudly showed me pics. i always want the best for him. he deserves it. i wish we could have worked on what we were going thru back then, but who knows what is for the best. good luck to you

Answer 8

well this is a pretty difficult situation...maybe you should go along with her and take things slow patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait...give it some time build on the friendship that you both have untils it matures again to become a relationship

Answer 9

Well, I'm not older than you but thought I'd share my opinion anyway, for what it's worth. If you feel this girl is "the one," I don't think you should let go. "What else is out there," is overrated. Real love is extremely hard to come by and if you've found it, do whatever you have to, to keep it.

Answer 10

I'm 43. I've had two, maybe three women in my life slip away because I thought there was better out there. Let me tell you straight up, get with this woman and stay with her. Believe me, I regret it to this day about one of them.