I have nointerest in dating a married person. She claims she will get a divorce soon, but has been hesitant to do so thus far because she doesn't want to hurt others. Thoughts?
2006-12-17 10:45:56 · 9 answers · asked by J D Jr. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have no interest in dating a married woman then why is she your girlfriend? I dont believe she has any intention on leaving. She says she doesnt want to hurt anyone, but fact is "Are you hurting"? Yes, she is hurting you. She is being selfish and just know that if she ever does leave her hubsband she will cheat on you too. You are treading on sacred ground my friend and you are helping her commit adultery. If you have no interest in dating a married woman then go find someone who is single.
2006-12-17 10:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about how she is hurting you? Does she have children with her spouse? Who exactly are the others that she doesn't want to hurt? Is she still living with the spouse? There really aren't enough details here.
I was technically still married for four of the twelve years my current husband and I have been together. The reason was becuase my ex wouldn't agree to any terms of the divorce and it took me three lawyers to finally get the desired results.
It sounds like maybe she is having her cake and eating it too...you know, why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free? Sounds like she is playing with your heart. You will need to tell her honestly and calmly that you can no longer be committing adultry with her so she will need to make a choice...stay in the marriage and refocus on her spouse or start divorce proceedings and refocus on you.
Good luck.
2006-12-17 18:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by j05gemini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like gf is seperated and not going thru a divorce. A really terrible contested divorce with children wont likely take 2 years. Sure she doesnt want to hurt others, only because she doesnt want the truth out for now. Things are working her way so why ruin them. Take a chance here and ask her what reall is going on and then take it from there. Good luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-17 18:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a somewhat similar situation right now so i hope i can help. I'm not dating anyone outside of my marriage but have feelings for someone else and he does too. He is waiting to see if i decide to get a divorce or not. I'm probably not going to do it. so if your girlfriend doesn't want to do it just because she doesn't want to hurt others, it really means that she doesn't want to do it. She just probably keeps telling you she will so that you will stick around and so you will feel like she loves you enough to change her life for you. But if it has already been two years and she is still having doubts then ,come one who is she kidding? If she doesn't want to hurt others, why doesn't she think of the hurt that she causes you? I'll be real and i hope i don't offend you but she is just stringing you along and you need to let her know now that its either you or him because if you stay like this you are only putting yourself in a position where you are either going to end up hurt or she will later on be with you and be miserable and she is going to blame it all on you. I think she still has feelings for her husband and is why she doesnt leave him. If she really loves you, shed find a way to be with you. Forget her and find someone that loves you enough to make the sacrifices that it takes to be with you and make you happy.
2006-12-17 19:00:07 · answer #4 · answered by h2gj87 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your girlfriend file the paperwork with the court yet? Is there a docket number assigned? If that has not happen then it needs to be done! If not it is just talk. What helped me make the decision to go forward with the divorce was to do a time line of the marriage review where it was not right for me and come to the decision to leave. She has to be honest with herself and realize that the quicker it gets started the sooner it will be over.
2006-12-17 19:07:53 · answer #5 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. Let her know that you have no interest in dating married people and you want someone like youself, Single. It doesn't take 2 years to divorce. Find someone like yourself, SINGLE.
2006-12-17 19:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is MARRIED. If you have any interest in dating her, you obviously do have interest in dating a married person. I wouldn't have started with her in the first place.
2006-12-17 18:50:07 · answer #7 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's the oldest story in the book. And why should she change what she doesn't have to? You've already made it clear that you are sticking around even if she's married.
2006-12-17 18:49:44 · answer #8 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of the relationship is what i say
2006-12-17 18:48:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋