My husband had an affair with a co worker and fathered a child. Believe it or not the baby was born this year.......ON MY BIRTHDAY! A double smack in my face. My question is.....How do I handle his new relationship with this baby and it's mother? Should he visit the baby every day, once a week, what? And is it correct for him to visit the baby at it's home while the mother is there and my husband is alone with them? Any Suggestions?
2006-12-17 09:53:22 · 31 answers · asked by mercedes5girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are going to hear a bunch of bs from ppl asking why you are still with the dude. and well its obvious you love him. but do you love him enough to trust him with this situation? especially with that much temptation with in reach?
i do think you might want to go to different lengths other then getting a lame answer on here to guide you. but if you find your self puzzled or questioning his love for you, and what he could do then i think i would call it quits. i mean why bother even asking the question if you trust and do love him?
just think about it, i'm not saying its not going to work out for you and your husband, but its going to be really hard on you, this honey will either make or break you. good luck.
2006-12-17 10:10:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your children are small, they need you; but remember in time they grow up and leave you, which is as nature intended. You cannot compare love for children to love for boyfriend since children were not meant to give you the comfort, adult companionship, sex, affection, support, etc., that a boyfriend does. They are not the same kind of love. In many cases, women feel no love for their husband at all. You sound as if you need a grown up man's love and affection. You love your children and that means no matter how disillusioned you are by romantic love right now, you obviously do still believe in love. Try to do some things to make yourself feel better (ie. bubble baths, long walks, etc) and try to keep love in your heart because love attracts more love. Maybe one day you'll meet a man who loves you and makes you happy...and remember your children won't be small for ever; so down the road if you have the chance to be with someone who loves you properly, divorce won't be out of the question. All the best,
2016-05-23 02:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definately not a fair situation and I think it is amazing that you worked things out and did not just take the easy way out...divorce. It is hard to say what is fair but if you feel that you can trust your husband to not continue relations with this lady then don't punish the child and let him be a part of this baby's life. You never know you could be a really great step-mom to this baby.
2006-12-17 09:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by Love2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You must really love him to still be with him. I don't know how you are able to have a relationship with that woman and the kid, for me it would be impossible. Either way I think that if you trust your husband, then it is okay for him to see the kid along with the mother. If you have doubts then you should really talk to him about seeing the kid elsewhere, perhaps at the aunts or uncles home or something. About how often should he see the kid, possibly at least once a week. Good luck with the whole situation, you are brave to still be with that guy and accept him with the kid and all.
2006-12-17 10:01:16 · answer #4 · answered by Yvette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Demand a paternity test and if your husband is in fact the father, then you handle it as best as you know how. It's unfortunate that this has happened and I must say that you seem like an amazing person, in that you realize the importance of this new child with reference to your husband. If I may be so bold, the man doesn't deserve you and he should literally worship the ground you walk on.
Good luck.
2006-12-17 10:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all IT is a baby. The baby is an innocent player in this game. Do not blame the baby. Second, the court will probably decide visitation for the father. Third, you should seek counseling for your marriage. You are going to need it.
2006-12-17 09:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by tko43078 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are planning on staying with him, God bless you, you are a much stronger and forgiving women then I could ever be. I surely would expect him to bring the baby to the home, not at her home where he is having this lovely family time with her. This will encourage the relationship to grow more. If the two of you are going to remain together then she would need to allow you to pick up the child and bring it to your home for visits. Oh my God, what the heck was she thinking and what was he thinking. What are they going to tell this poor little child. God bless you and keep you. God bless****
2006-12-17 09:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what your feeling, i myself have been there in a PAST relastionship. I got out of it fast, because not only did he cheat on me, but he did not use any kind of protection... he had a child with her. and that also means that he could have caught something from her... (these days STD'S are EVERYWHERE) And you say LOVE child.. well that means he WAS or is in love with the mother of the child,. what makes you think nothing is going on now between them?
2006-12-17 09:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by sexy momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you are still there with him God bless you you took your vows seriously but if I were you I would try to go with him every time he went to visit the child I wouldn't trust them together but thats something you are going to have to get used to and he should see the child as often as he wants but am going to say a prayer for you tonight I hope this works out for you God bless
2006-12-17 14:09:21 · answer #9 · answered by mom of 2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have my respect,i couldn't stop with him knowing he had played away,you need to decide whether you can accept the situation and put his cheating behind you,which will be very hard now there is a baby there,whatever happens take care of you,that is a **** thing to happen to anyone good luck
2006-12-17 10:04:15 · answer #10 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋