Children and custody?

Question

Anyone here ever been in a custody dispute and felt that the ex didn't deserve to see the children (or shouldn't for some reason)? If so, what did you do?

As an addition, it seems as though some have misunderstood my question. I'm a psych major writing a term paper on Parental Alienation Syndrome. I'm looking for examples from people who have experienced it from either point of view. I asked a question re PAS before but it did not draw the answers I was looking for. Thanks anyway.

Answer 1

Yes, but they are usually allowed visitation with their children anyway. So I stayed with their father so that I can keep his temper directed at me and not them. Go to the Welfare Department and explain your concerns and they will investigate and do home visits and possibly intervene with supervised visitation.

Answer 2

As someone who has handled both divorces and counseling, I have seen time after time, one spouse feeling exactly that , that the other should not be allowed to see the kids. Most were out of revenge and trying to hurt the ex or for whatever reason.Most did not have a valid reason or were able to legally justify knocking out the visits or custody attempts. Ive seen numerous excuses to attempt blocking visits and most were so stupid , in court terms, to even try them. What hurts most is that once they try and the judge sees thru them, then the judge doesnt totally trust what comes from that spouse and that hurts them, although most dont matter. So unless the spouse can rule the other as unfit with concrete evidence such as police or medical reports of child or drug/mental abuse, the attempt is futile and really does no good, no matter what the first spouse feels or whats. This is why many divorces are contested besides support, and the reason for divorce laws in court. I will agree that some have actually had legitimate claims against the other spouse but the law is the law and the judge prevails right or wrong. The judge works on hard convincing evidence and applies the law to that. Merry Christmas

Answer 3

Both parents deserve to have a reasonably healthy relationship with all the children concerned. Unless one parent is such a threat to the social, mental, and physical health to the children that their presence would lead to death or serious harm, then the answer is NO!

Obviously, if there was instances of infidelity, abuse, or one or the other spouses are bitter at the other, then such imagined threats to the children will be "trumped up" and the whole affair will become messy and costly to all involved.

Following a divorce, parents should be able to do better for their children. Put differences aside with regard to child custody. The law in most states recognizes child custody as a separate issue and rightly so. Whomever the parent is that thinks it clever to alienate the children from the other parent will likely pay dearly for it on a later date. Specifically, when the children are older, they can, and WILL decide to "rescue" the other parent. Then the whole child-support payment plan will do a 180 degree turn and the shoe will be on the other foot. Share the children.....They are Human Beings.....and not to be likened to property, furniture, appliances, or to be otherwise bargained off.....Good luck with that.

Answer 4

Grow up!

Unless the children are in direct danger (as in child molestation, violence or drugs), children NEED both parents.

You want to hurt your ex. You want to use your children as a weapon. But that is unfair, not only to your ex but to your children.

My grandmother did that to grandpa. They got divorced, and she managed to keep my dad and my aunt from seeing my grandpa. For 10 years, she succeded, and told them all kinds of B.S.

But what happened? At some point they realized that it was just their mother punishing their father, and they HATED HER GUTS for the rest of her life. And it was well deserved.

My husband's ex-wife is the same way.

BUt one day, those kids will know how much their father really loves them. And if he dies before they can restablish the relationship, I will look for them and let them know. I know they will hate their mother too, for cutting the bond with their father.

So, grow up, be an adult, and work out a visitation schedule that works both for you and the father of your children.

It is bad enough for your kids that you guys divorced. Why making them suffer.

Look up on the internet "Parent Alienation Syndrome". Is that what you want for your kids? If so, you don't deserve to be a mother.

Answer 5

That is up to a court and judge to decide, we do not know the real circumstances. The word Deserve, covers many meanings. What you feel the other deserves, may or may not be in the best interest of the child, so the Judge should let you know.

Answer 6

Child professionals are trained to keep their jobs period. Lies are untraceable....on the part of the child, who is exploiting their parent, who wants to be loved by the other parent, who doesn't realize he/she is being used to put food on a child professional's table - (breath) who is licensed to practice PAS including family court judges. Any child who is trying to get attention from a parent who is neglecting to spend time with or using the child to control people will project that to the parent who has taken the time to parent in a balanced manner...love/discipline.

Are you under some sort of influence PAS is limited to divorce? So, which one are you - child preditor or trying to play God? Yes, I'm being blunt. No use putzy footing around with it. One should truly be grounded in their faith before getting involved with helping children, parents, and families because Plato's relativism has no place in the upbringing of a child or family relationships period.

Answer 7

If they didn't feel that way there wouldn't be a dispute. If you want to appear the better parent, don't do anything bad and try to be the nice one. Let the lawyers battle it out.

Answer 8

Seek counselling.

Answer 9

no

Answer 10

nothing.