how do you cope with a husband who is a heroine addict?

Question

he constantly promises to change and give up the habit, seeing a doctor, taking counselling, taking medication, but nothing ever happens, he will be clean for 2 - 3 days, but is so bad humoured and then takes the stuff and be all sweet and considerate to everyone. how do you deal with all of these broken promises? is being a father and husband too much to cope with? is the family the source or the trigger for his habit? should the family stay together or would it be better to go separate ways?

Answer 1

Keep your family together. It may give your husband a little more incentive to get help. Don't blame yourself or anyone else for this addiction. Heroin is a physically addictive drug. Once it's in your system, it's very hard to get out. It may take years. A regular rehab clinic will not work. He has to go to a clinic that specializes in heroin addicts. My daughter's best friend died last January from a heroin overdose. Her mother found her in bed holding the telephone, dead. The best bet for you or anyone else in your family is to get counseling on dealing with an addict. Not onmly could it help you, but it could also save his life.

Answer 2

First of let me tell you that you are getting first hand information.i mean ive been there! I used to be a heroin addict and am clean since 2003(touch wood!) My wife could not cope with it and filed for divorce when i went for rehab for the last time.
The worst thing that you can do is feel defeated because of his continous relapses and make it obvious that you have given hope.Act and behave as if nothing is wrong ,give him love and understanding,i agree its difficult to do that with a guy who is only happy and affectionate when he is high but please keep in mind that addiction is a treatable disease,he cannot help it,talk to him and tell him that you understand his disease and his helplessness to cope with. Trust me,this is a life long thing and i repeat ,it is treatable but NOT curable ,just like diabetes,the momebt you eat sugar it starts showing its ugly head similarly if he gets high on ANYTHING after he has quit it will act up. I finally got sober when i entered a 12 step program in a facility where i HAD to stay for one full month with leaving before that not an option. So take the initiative and enter a 12 step rehab facility and we will take it from there.I will be more than willing to help u whenever u need me.
ps, Now im a trained chemical dependancy counsellar.

Answer 3

Of course it would always be good for a family to be together, "BUT", if your husband won't change it would be VERY HARD to go on. Nothing is impossible yes, but if he "REALLY", REALLY" wants to CHANGE, he is the only one that can HELP HIMSELF, not the rehab, not counselling, not medication and NOT even PROMISES... NONE OF THESE IN REALITY WOULD HELP IF THE PERSON IS NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT AND TO CHANGE HIMSELF.. it will just be this way over and over again... Moreso , if you have kids I don't think you want your kids to be growing up with a father that is a heroine addict, do you? If change is remote, I would suggest that going separate ways would be the best way out....good luck...

Answer 4

Being an addict comes first with everyone that is addicted, no matter what the drug of choice is. Heroin is physically addicting, meaning without it, he will become physically sick, without some type of medication (methadone) to help him "get off" the drugs. Being a husband and father is not even registering on him, at this point. Nothing matters except the drug and getting more of it. Unlesss you are willing to"settle" for this, then it is time to go your own way. I wish you the best of luck, and it is possible for your husband to "get clean and sober", but it is not something you can force him to do. Sometimes love is not enough........

Answer 5

Wow...first of all ...you need to get some help so that you can better understand what an addict is all about....it has nothing to do with your or your family....it is ONLY about him and his addiction...the only God in his life is Heroin.....if you put a gun to your child's head and told him your child or H...he would either choose H or he would lie and tell you he was all done...until he knew the coast was clear for his next fix.....He cannot keep promises...he will not cherish you and your family as you do.....he will only cherish the thing that provides his high and his escape from the pain of reality.....Get out now...if you don't, you will lose everything and maybe your life..your children are at risk for so many bad things.....go now...make a better life for you and your kids...maybe someday he will get clean but you cannot make that happen....Good luck

Answer 6

I don't think an addict is in any position to 'love' anything other than his/her drug of choice. I wasted six years of my life addicted to crack and heroin and have now been clean for five years. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and I manged with medical help (not methadone) to get clean, I do believe every addict is capable of this I just don't know how long it takes. I manged it in the end after nearly losing everything and I do feel 'there but for the grace of god go |I'. I am also aware of the fact that whilst addicted I made many promises I could not keep and I would urge you to move on for your own peace of mind, you cannot help, if he loves you he will find you when he is clean.

Answer 7

First, of all, you should be asking him what is going on that he has to take drugs.....Then you need to tell him you guys are going for a ride and drop his behind off so he can get clean...You do not know that affects the kids and don't think the kids are clueless as to what is going on...Get that habit kicked or when your kids get old enough, you will have another child doing the same thing....

The worst thing is to let that man stay around your family like that....What are you waiting for to get help?Are you waiting until he has no more money and to come home and all your personal things are pawned?

Get help now...

Answer 8

He won't get help for his problem until he is ready to. Everyone in this situation has to hit their bottom and for your sake and your child's I hope that his isn't too far down there. You need to find some support for yourself. I will post a link at the bottom here to a website that helped me and my family through some really tough times. There is also a wonderful book that I highly recommend to anyone having any kind of life crisis. The name of it Life Recovery Bible. It is a twelve step book with a christian outlook. If you need someone to chat with, feel free to contact me by email and I will be more than happy to visit with you. I battled an addiction for years and lived with an alcoholic father, so I have an idea what you are going through. Hang in there!

Answer 9

Heroin is a bad drug. I feel for you. It is not necessarily about coping with situations. Drug users sometimes have a chemical imbalance in the brain, etc. But heroin is a very bad drug so he definitely needs help if he is to get off of it. Obviously you love him but are wore out. Try going to http://godisruleroftheuniverse.com and click on the Blessing and Curses link. That may help. I would also pray and get him in to see a doctor. He is not going to be able to kick this habit without God and/or professional help. If you are just wore out - you just are. There is no right or wrong. If he absolutely won't get help, and you are tired, you may need to try a trial separation, if for nothing else - to regain your strength.

Answer 10

You are in an impossible living situation. I assume that you are there because you can't afford a place of your own, but your current residence is costing you more than can imagine. You have a husband and a baby to be concerned with. Read your question again, and take notice of all of the extra B.S. that is concerning you. Move---anywhere. A cardboard box on a street corner would be an improvement.