he has no intension of going back to her,he isnt leading her on,he keeps telling her straight, but she refuses to give up, it has been eight months now and she still asks him all the time if he will come back......how can i help her, i thought she was relising as time went on that he wasent coming back,,,,and to be truthful i dont really know why she would want him back...........i think she'd be alot better off without him,she is hurting,is she making it worse for herself?
2006-12-17 08:36:40 · 17 answers · asked by Supergirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry to hear about this. Poor thing, she's hanging on to false hope. I guess she won't realize that he's not coming back until he remarries. You really can't help her, this is something she's going to have to decide on her own. It's obvious that she loves him.....and I'm sure that he's messing up by leaving her. Just stay by her side, and be there for her when reality sets in. Best of luck to you, and her.
2006-12-17 08:41:14 · answer #1 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That girl is in denial, big time. She has to realize things for herself and you will only become the bad guy which she will resent if you try to force her to listen to reason. Suggest counseling or a divorced support group - she needs to see how others have went through it and gotten on with their lives. She also may be really depressed - a visit to a doctor would probably be a good idea as well. You might suggest she take a break from communicating with her ex - a time off for her to evaluate how she feels, she may see she doesn't really need him. We all miss the familiar even if it wasn't good for us. Be the shoulder for her even if it gets old, which you need to tell her so you don't get resentful, but be supportive - its never an easy time. After this much time though a good medical evaluation sounds like a good idea - depression may have settled over her and making it harder to let go.
2006-12-17 08:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is a really tough situation for you and especially for her. If he is telling her that he is not coming back she really needs to move on. But there must something that he is telling her to make her feel like there is a chance. Try to keep her busy and tell her not to call him or when he calls not to answer, maybe there is a chance and her absence will bring him back. On the other hand maybe with her not calling him and if he doesn't call her maybe she will slowly realize that he is not coming back.
2006-12-17 09:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by monz 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I'm married an maybe she trying to live up to her vowels women find it harder to move on than men.Just keep loving and supporting her and don't down her when she finally realize hes not coming back shell move on .Try going to counseling wit her,and if she have children support them to try getting her out do things that will get him off of her mind but shes the only one that can solve this.
2006-12-17 08:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by klo jones 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get her out there Clubbing and socialising , there nothing like a new man and good meaning less sex to forget an old love . Shell be fun free and single b4 you know it . Then youll have to try and keep with with her HAve FUn
2006-12-19 00:00:06 · answer #5 · answered by C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the very best thing you can do for your friend is to be the best friend anyone can have.Be there to help , Be there for her!.. let her cry on your shoulder and offer her all the help you can. Don't be tempted to poison he mind with your views about the husband.. That can back fire and cause even more distress.
Sooner or later the estranged husbands errant actions will sink in and your friend will see the inevitable..
2006-12-17 23:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by robert x 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She"s in denial, some times things hurt so bad so its easier to pretend its going to be the same again. Tell her no matter what your going to be truthful even tho you know its going to hurt, and start getting her out and meeting new people, maybe she will meet Mr right instead of Mr wrong. good luck
2006-12-17 08:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Becky ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you cant help someone if they are not prepared to help themselves. It is the age old problem - until your friend admits that it is over - it doesn't matter what you say or do they will not be able to move forward. all you can do - if you are a friend is be there to support - a shoulder to cry on, a kindly ear. One morning she will wake up and acknowledge the truth.
2006-12-17 08:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best help that you can be is to keep yourself available so that when she wants to talk to someone you will be there.
She MAY WELL be better off without him, but your telling her that just now will not get through.
Give it time
Keep close.
2006-12-21 08:16:20 · answer #9 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice!. Take out for a meal and hope to try and set her up with a nice guy one that will appreciate her.It sounds to me like she could do better to and her husbands a Tw*T.
2006-12-17 08:50:05 · answer #10 · answered by Gilly 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋