Im am 24 and pregnant with my first child. My boyfriend walked out and doesnt want a baby. So now im stuck alone and gotta raise this kid. He works a great job and said if i have him up for child support he will harm me! He is the father he should pay support when the baby is born! How do i get support from him with out him trying to harm me???
2006-12-17 08:27:49 · 17 answers · asked by Luckycharm 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Sweetheart, you are better off without that lousey, worthless, rotten excuse for a man! Listen, your main concern now is taking care of yourself and your precious baby. It is not your little baby's fault that the sperm donor is worthless. Don't let that interfer with your love for your little son or daughter. Take care of yourself, try to get plenty of rest, eat well and do the best you can to have a safe, healthy pregnancy.
There will be time to pursue the child support issue when the baby is born. That is unless you are entitled to some sort of support during the time that you are pregnant. If that is the case then you will have to deal with it sooner. I don't know where you live but in most cases it is the state verses the dead-beat-dad. It is not you. He has no reason to want to take it out on you and if he does he will end up in jail. If it will make you feel better get a protective order. It will not stop him from doing what ever evil thing he has in mind ( which I doubt, he just wants to scare you) but then he will know that if he even comes near you he will be locked up and I doubt that he wants that! Make it clear to him that you do not have time to play games with his sorry ***. The state of "fill in the blank" will pursue him for the child support and there is nothing that he can do about it. For that matter, there is nothing YOU can do about it. If you ask for any kind of help from the state, they will dig around to see if there is a support order in place and if they find out that there is not they will contact the correct authorities and make sure that steps are taken to make him pay child support. They will take his paychecks or do what ever they have to until he has met his responsibilities. It is a fact of life honey and he put himself in that position when he made love to you. It will only make his situation worse if he dares to hurt you. Believe me the system takes a very dim view of men who want to hurt pregnant women. More than likely he is just blowing off steam, he is trying to scare you. I am sorry that it is working. Hurting you will only make things worse and he is smart enough to know that.
When you talk to the child support people make sure that they are well aware of the threats that he has made. I am pretty sure that they will file the protective order for you and it will not even cost you anything. ( here in Indiana they used to cost $100 but in your case they would be free).
Listen honey if there is anything I can do to help you, feel free to write to me and I will certainly write back.
Take care of yourself. It will all work out. Do not let this miserable "man" scare you or make you do something stupid. You are old enough to be a mother and you cannot let him intimidate you. Be strong.
(p.s. after reading some of the answers you got, I wanted to add something. Do not let some of the ugly things that were said hurt you! Do not consider killing your baby and do not listen to that awful man who thinks you are having this baby just to hassle some idiot man!)
Love and Blessings
Lady Trinity~
2006-12-17 08:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Trinity 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Report the threats to the police. After your child is born, you can go to the social services office and file for child support. The local authorities can provide protection for you and your baby. A judge will order a paternity test. When the results come in, there will be a hearing and they will determine how much he should pay in child support. You need to report the threats as soon as possible, because if he is paying child support, he will have visitation rights ... but proving a history of his threatening behavior may have an effect on what kind of visitation he is allowed to have (limited, with a third-party present at all times, etc).
2006-12-17 08:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok. Let's be real. Anyone who threatens anyone needs to be reported to the police. NO MATTER who it is. You need to report it as soon as possible and if you work you may need to inform a few close co-workers what is going on. You don't want your business out in the open however you are responsible for the safety of your baby as well as yourself and you do what you have to do to be safe and stress free. You need some help. You need to tell someone about your normal day to day routine. Talk to your family if you can and give them the scoop. Don't under estimate this guy. People have gone to jail for little things that you would never ever dream of. Next, you have to prove he is the father. That ain't hard to do. But until then try to stay away from him and in involuntary stress. DOn't meet him alone. If he wants to see you it needs to be with a friend or family member that want make the situation worst when they see him but it will give you a sense of safety. If he is proven to be the father then you can receive child support however, it also gives him the right to be a part of the baby's life. Just remember you can't make him be a father to your baby. And anyone who will threaten to do harm to you is better not being a part of your life. Child support is good, however you are still going to be the mom and dad. All the responsibility will fall on you. Early mornings, late nights, doctor appointments and everthing else. You will get through this and you will learn from it I assure you. Pray for God to give you the strength to make the right decision and live with it. Turn it all over to him. Good Luck!! Keep us all posted. We are pulling for you.
2006-12-17 10:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to go through your pregnancy comfortably and stess free. Right now is the time where friends and family members come in place. Try to do things that are stress free for you and the baby, walking, yoga and meditating. Also create a support system with the people around you.
After your child is born, contact your state health/legal department and ask for an order of paternity this will prove he is the father. Then you need to place an order of child support on him. There are plenty of services that will help you for free or a minimum charge.
He can't hurt you or the baby, he is just angry right now. The best thing for you to do is focus on the baby and get through your pregnancy safe. All of this stress can cause miscarriage or premature labor. If you need to talk IM me on yahoo.
2006-12-17 08:37:47 · answer #4 · answered by erica2368 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell him, I think your baby needs to grow up with a dad. Its so sad to see a kid without a dad and not only that, I believe a kid needs a male role model and father:/ if he's a real man he'll help you raise this child regardless of marriage or a relationship. Its his baby too and when this baby comes out, you'll realize just how hard it is to raise a child and that's a hell of a process that usually needs 2 parents. I hate to give advice on being blunt but if your not ready for marriage I think you need to pull your confidence together and just say no. I bet he'll still help you care for the child if he does care. Good luck, ill pray for you
2016-05-23 02:43:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is legally required to pay child support until the child is 18. Get a lawyer, now!
2006-12-17 08:35:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you really sure you want to have this baby? Consider giving up the baby for adoption or terminating the pregnancy. I've seen too many women go along and have children they didn't want and they resented the children, leading to everything from beating the child to inflicting psychological damage on their children.
Also, you seem more concerned with your boyfriend providing financial support than emotional support. Maybe he feels like you tricked him and got pregnant on purpose. I would inform the police that he made threats against you and I would get a lawyer because you are going to have to prove paternity and you might have to sue for child support if you decide to keep and raise the child.
2006-12-17 08:37:35 · answer #7 · answered by ivybear98 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Any threats need to be reported to the police. If you receive any more threats, by mail, phone, etc. you need to document them. If there is constant harassment or threats by him, you need to report it each time so it's on record. If he actually does harm you, press charges! He was just as involved with getting you pregnant as you were, so he needs to step up and support this baby. There are numbers for child support enforcement that can help you once the baby is born so you can have financial support. As far as his becoming involved with the baby, I wouldn't count on it, but that's his loss, not yours.
2006-12-17 08:33:58 · answer #8 · answered by chamely_3 4 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Get an Order of Protection...and then go after that F***er for child support.
2006-12-17 14:00:59 · answer #9 · answered by Pixie27 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go to the police tell them that he told you if you went for child support he threatened to harm you and that you know fear for your life and the life of your unborn child. Be careful though he could go for parental rights to get custody of the kid from you if for no other reason than to hurt u
2006-12-17 08:35:55 · answer #10 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋