2006-12-17 08:10:33 · 22 answers · asked by Love2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The worst part about all of this is that I have been having an affair for 6 months with the guy I work with and he is married as well.
2006-12-17 08:13:14 · update #1
I always thought that there was one person out there for everyone and that is not the case. I know that in order for our relationship to end (co-worker) I would have to end it and that is so much easier said then done. He has told me that he has strong feelings for me just like I have for him but not only are we married but we both have kids and that makes it even harder.
2006-12-17 08:18:25 · update #2
I'm not going to judge you on your situation since everyone makes mistakes... but you need to break up with one or the other, you cannot have both. And regardless of the backlash that is going to come up against you and whoever is involved with you, you need to be honest with your husband and come clean. You also need to set your priorities straight and also make sure what kind of examples you want to set to your children since they most likely look up to you. If your marriage is loveless and there is no trust (obviously there isn't) then it probably won't work out. You and the other man need to also have a serious talk to see where this relationship is headed; not to speculate or imagine scenarios, but to actually live them out. You need to get in touch with reality and whatever consequences might come. Good luck and I hope things work out!
2006-12-17 10:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by purringout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a good thing. You need to quit this as soon as possible. These things have a way of being found out. You (and your co worker) are going to have to make a choice. To me, neither of you can be trusted. Remember, cheating just don't "happen". It takes two. If you don't stop things now, basically 2 marriages can be ruined...not saying that this is all your fault. Think hard about this girl, because all though you say you love your co worker, his feelings may be that he's just having sex. Also, are you certain that you're the only one he's sleeping with? What if he gives you a disease and you give it to your husband? You need to do some heavy duty thinking. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-17 08:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with bondgirl on this one.
Are you absolutely serious with this question? It really does sound like you wanna play games. What in the world were you thinking?
It doesn't matter whether you love the guy out of the office not that isn't even the question. The answer is pretty simple really, you have to stop the affair now.
It is way too complicated for anyone here to sort out. You have dug an awfully deep hole, and sister, you really need to get out of this place.
And if the only way you can stop the affair, without a lot of drama, is to quit and find another job, then so be it.
2006-12-17 08:39:07 · answer #3 · answered by Gnome 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Recall the vows that you took on your wedding day. Your locked in. Unless you didn't honestly believe them and you just got married because it seemed a good idea at the time, so you signed a prenup in case you may have changed your mind later when you might fall in love with another kat. If you're in love with both of them. I'd suggest you stick with your husband. And if the reason you're falling for the other dude is because he's lacking somewhere be a good wife and communicate that to him. Get some counseling or something to see what you need to do to spice up your life. Don't leave the man you married in the dark.
2006-12-17 08:16:37 · answer #4 · answered by donbenecio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for this. let me tell you what you are doing.
You are a liar and a cheat. Let me repeat, liar And a cheat.
How you can look at yourself in a mirror and think there are any redeeming qualities to this charade let me tell you, you are mistaken.
There is no way to descried the amount of emotional pain that is around the corner if you persist.
Just so you understand, YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH THIS OTHER GUY. Maybe you have not had an orgasm lately with your husband so you think you are in love with the sex but there is NO WAY this sordid affair can be love.
I hope that hubby finds out and throws you to the curb to raise his children in an ethical household. Then when the other parties find out because hubby tells them, his wife will slam the door on his dalliance shut him off from you and because it started at work and his work is more valuable you get fired. SO you are on the street with no husband ,no lover, no children and no job. Happy Holidays.
Get some ethics.
2006-12-17 09:57:41 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I fell in love with a co-worker and have regreted it. I honestly believe he was the love of my life. But in the end (after 3 years) he won't leave his wife. Said he couldn't leave his kids. Don't let yourself be used by this person, that is all they will they will not leave for you. If you love your husband stop the affair now before he finds out. You will regret it if you don't. Good Luck.
2006-12-17 08:38:00 · answer #6 · answered by Redhead 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was recently in the position that your husband is, and I found out. What you are doing to him is the most vicious and heartless thing that you possibly could.
Speaking from personal experience: your are acting in a morally bankrupt way, doing something so hurtful to someone that loves and trusts you, which you wouldn't do to your worst enemy if you knew how much it hurt.
STOP if you have any decency. Tell your husband, don't be surprised if he tries to kill the guy, and then try to fix your marriage.
2006-12-17 09:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by tamzerion 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just have to follow your heart. but here's how i think about it: if you truly loved your husband, how could you allow yourself to get so emiotionally involved with someone else? maybe he just wasn't the one for you, so you looked for and found someone new. in my opinion, if you were satisfied with your relationship with your husband, the affair would have never occured. but it ultimately comes down to how you feel. try not to let this continue on. you need to make a decision. it will be hard, but you have to be honest with your husband and let him know if you want to be with him still. oh and another thing, if this co worker would cheat on his own wife, he might just cheat on you too if you get together. just keep that in mind. and do not commit or leave your husband for him if he is not ready to leave his wife and be with you. you have to really look into all of these things and make sure you choose the one that will be faithful to you and truly make you happy. and i just read that you both have kids, you have to be fair to your family. if you leave your husband for another man, you'll also be hurting your children. i can't tell you what to do, but it was selfish for you and this guy to have an affair. you both put yourself ahead of your family. if you aren't truly in love with your co-worker or are unsure of his feelings for you, don't let a fling ruin your family. you did make a committment when you said i do. good luck making a decision.
2006-12-17 08:24:45 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's important to let you know that you cannot be in love with two men at the same time. You're either in love with one and has fallen out of love with the other. To accept that you're in love with both men is an abuse of that SACRED word LOVE.
However I understand your dilemma,but let's face the truth as adult. Have you guys considered the possible consequences of your present actions? Let's reason together.
a) Your husband will divorce you if he finds out. Is your man friend
ready to marry you.Find out from him now.
b) Your children stand the risk of being cared for by either of you. Consider the psychological effect this will have on their upbringing.
c)The same man who claims to have strong feelings for you today will doubt you tomorrow seeing you with another man.
d) If he dump his wife & family for you certainly there're chances of him dumping you for another tomorrow.
e) Remember what the man and you have for each other is strong FEELINGS. Feelings are unreliable compare to the love that has brought you babies.
Stop it now before it becomes TOO late.
2006-12-17 11:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by cherish memories 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The dude is telling you he has "strong feelings" but is that enough? Do you think he's going to leave his wife for you? Don't be surprised when he doesn't. You are going to bring a lot of heartache to a lot of people. You should walk away.
If you don't love your husband divorce him. Don't be a coward and a wh*re by continuing to cheat on him. How would you feel if the tables were turned and your spouse did this to you?
2006-12-17 08:28:21 · answer #10 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋