Last night, I hit my husband. How can I make it better?

Question

My husband and I have been married for a month. Two months ago, we had our first child. Just last week, we were kicked out of our apartment and are now living with my parents because we had nowhere else to go. Neither of us have jobs and he doesn't even have a driver's license.

My husband got a call from an online university late last week and signed up to go to classes without discussing it with me or even mentioning it to me. When I found out, I didn't say anything right away. I waited all day and looked up the tuition. It was over $14,000! He already has over $30,000 in student loan debt and is behind on his child support around $900. I told him we had to go out and get a job-and that he could go to school once he had held a job for 6 months, which he has never done before. I have bipolar disorder with postpartom psychosis. I'm on a waiting list to see a Psychiatrist but I'm not on any medication now. He made me so angry that I hit him. What can I do to make up for it?

My husband had a job up until two weeks ago when he was injured on the job and they fired him. He has recovered now and is seeking employment. He has two interviews this week.

Answer 1

You can not make that situation better because it is already passed. You can let it be a reminder to you to choose a different course of action next time. Life is about learning and letting our next actions be guided by what we learned. It is not therapy or medication you need. You need to slow down in your thoughts and actions and make sure that all of your decisions are being made based on one question. What action shows that I love me? If you make your decisions based on loving yourself, you won't hit him because it hurts your heart to do it, you will become less and less selfish because you'll want to see him grow and be happy because it makes you grow and be happy. It will heal your bipolar and take away your after pregnancy blues. You'll find a happiness and a mental/emotional serenity you never thought you had the power to command. It takes practice and it takes being patient with yourself and knowing that patience is also loving yourself. We spend years in school and get out thinking learning is over. School is like religion it just teaches us how to learn and apply what we learn. Step back and look at your situations like a new chapter of lessons and pay attention and do your best with the best intentions from your heart.

Answer 2

i to don't understand why you would marry a man that had no job. please don't tell me it was because of the baby. because if that was your reason i see it did alot of good. you know you were wrong for hitting him,so all you can do is say that your sorry. but you need to tell him that he needs to get a job. it is not fair for you to put this burden on your parents. supporting you and your husband and neither of you are making an effort to get a job.i know people are going to say oh she has bi-polar, well there are plenty of people working that have it. so lets not use that as an excuse.both of you get off your butts and go look for work and stop living off your parents!!

Answer 3

oh my god.... if its not one thing, its another.... and when it rains it surely pours!!!!!

you are right to say that he should find a source of income first. i think you should send him on his way, and use this time at your parents house to get on your feet. maybe it will be a wake up call for him to have to get a job and pay the bills and actually take on the role of the man.

as far as your mental health is concerned, i think that you sound resonable and adjusted, so relax and don't try to put too much emphasis on that... you have valid feelings.

i am not sure why you married him when he didn't have a job etc.... and kicked out of your apt??? cuz you weren't paying bills... so again, why get married??? try anullment. you need to do right by your innocent child.

Answer 4

Just tell him how so very sorry you are, and that you wont do it again. That if you were ever to do that again, he can just pack his things and leave, and you would not do anything to hold him back. And as long as you know you said that to him, you might think twice, before you hit him out of anger, again.

Answer 5

Go to counseling before the violent behavior gets out of hand and one of you ends up jail. Nobody is worth hitting them over anything.

Answer 6

Better add anger classes into your budget. I was married 30 years and never struck my husband. You do need your therapist or psychiatrist and you do need to apologize to him. If you want to make things right then be humble and apologize and be happy he didn't strike you.

Answer 7

first of all there is nothing that will make it OK to use violence. If you wouldn't like for him to hit you keep your hands to yourself .Like it or not there is not much to do to make it better. You are luck that is domestic violence you could go to jail. My advice to you is to find an organization to help with your meds. until you can get into what your waiting for. And KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!if you have issues with the money talk to him about it.

Answer 8

move to Alberta... lots of jobs here......it's sound like your frustration is all financial.... start bringing money in and believe it or not, you might get a long a little better.........good luck

Answer 9

you know what you got to do........

Answer 10

Was it with a sledge-hammer - if not, why not.................